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Dog Alarm Clock

For those who find it hard to respond to conventional alarms.
  (+11, -1)(+11, -1)
(+11, -1)
  [vote for,

The mechanism is simple; an electric door strike on the kitchen door, a door closer reconfigured to pull the door open, a 24Hr mains powered timer, and - a dog.

One sets the timer to operate a few minutes prior to the desired awakening time. When that moment arrives, the timer turns on the power to the door strike, and the door is pulled open by the "opener".

The little doggie, having had his eight hour ration of kip, and irked by being shut away from the rest of the "pack" all this time, springs gazelle-like from his basket, and, tail wagging enthusiastically, ascends the stairs. Making his way into the Master Bedroom, he makes use of any available aids to climb onto the bed (since he is too clumsy to manage it in a single jump) and once in position, demonstrates his joy and affection at being re-united with his friends by inserting his small, pink tongue into any and all available facial orifices.

Notes: Owners of larger breeds may wish to keep a towel (or indeed a wet-and-dry vacuum cleaner) by the bed for the removal of excess saliva. Owners of Spaniels are particualrly reminded that an investemnt in an "Acme" tonsil guard may prove invaluable in avoiding unpleasant sensations during the "french kiss" stage of awakening, and the need for subsequent reconstructive surgery.

8th of 7, Sep 04 2002


       Fantastic. 8/7, it's time the dog lobby struck back. The variant in my household would involve a recorded voice booming "Hello!", which is the Pavlovian stimulus for my two black labradors to come out of their frames trying to repel intruders.   

       +1. "Because there's no snooze on snoopy."
General Washington, Sep 04 2002

       Note: you may be waking up the your doggie taking a tinkle on you if you don't make sure he's been relieved first.
XSarenkaX, Sep 04 2002

       Owners of spaniels may also wish to use rubber sheets, those dogs piss everywhere! This alarm works quite well when conventional means are used to open the cage door.. (speaking as both a Spaniel owner, as well as one that does not respond well to conventional alarms...)
Mr Burns, Sep 04 2002

       My pooch skips to the lick mode. Propped in the corner chair, she awakens me with the soothing sound of tounge gently cleaning.., well you get the gist. eewwwww. That's why I throw shoes.
rubyissues, Sep 05 2002

       I woke up one morning, Jesus this is so gross, to a mouth full of Labrador Retriever tongue. My big mouth was hanging open and he must have decided it smelled enough like hot garbage to pursue it further. ...I'm going to go take another shower.
DickWeed, Mar 03 2003

       But he made you get up, didn't he?
XSarenkaX, Mar 03 2003

       I think this invention perhaps also justifies the futher invention of some form of anti-dog-french-kiss sleeping mask.
8th of 7, Mar 04 2003

       What about a snooze function?
silverstormer, Mar 04 2003

       A canister of Mace should fit the bill.
angel, Mar 04 2003

       Easily the best alarm clock out there.
augusta, Oct 12 2006


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