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Dog Bites Man

Statistical News Reporting
  [vote for,

Terrorists! Lightning! Immigrants shooting planes out of the sky with nuclear blow darts! Who can keep their sanity on risk when the abberations are broadcast far and wide, and the real, daily risks of life are ignored? As a lesson to give some perspective to a certain few reactionary corners of the political spectrum, news agencies should report the statistics of each occurrence as a reminder of how the world actually usually works.
RayfordSteele, Apr 18 2017

Malaria http://www.who.int/...epidemic/deaths/en/
Not funny. Not even the least little bit funny. [8th of 7, Apr 18 2017]

Nuclear blow dart https://en.wikipedi...tt_(nuclear_device)
All too real [8th of 7, Apr 18 2017]

Magnetic Malaria. http://www.washingt...w-researchers-find/
This is old news to me. [2 fries shy of a happy meal, Apr 21 2017]


       Each article could carry a tag with a frequency identifier, and you could set your news service to only deliver the ones that pass your personal interest threshold.   

       " Hmmm, another quiet day - what a pleasant world ... "
normzone, Apr 18 2017

       "3000 children a day die from malaria".   

       Shame on you, homo sapiens, shame.
8th of 7, Apr 18 2017

       On the other hand, we've halved malaria in the last 15 years.
MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 18 2017

       Yeah, Bush the second tried that. I'll be paying for it and so will the 'bakers grandkids ...
normzone, Apr 18 2017

       hard to define newsworthiness as things that are solely ordinary.   

       I'm the last one to debate that things are getting better all the time, but that was true on the eve of both WWI and WWII too.
theircompetitor, Apr 19 2017

       Easy enough to do in Twitter. She could start one with Trump. They'd both benefit.
RayfordSteele, Apr 20 2017

       I was just bitten by a mosquito
pashute, Apr 21 2017

       No one injured in the car accident that just occurred.
pashute, Apr 21 2017

       On the other hand, a best friend's son who was murdered point blank by a terrorist cannot be forgotten. Especially not when the murderer's family and the organization behind them cheer the murder, claim they are victims and call all Jews and all Israelis "the new Nazis".
pashute, Apr 21 2017

       Oh no. Sorry to hear that pashute. However I'll delete this thread long before it becomes an Israeli-Palestinian rant war.   

       Strangely, nobody's ever accused me of acting like a Nazi. It is possible to avoid the label if you play nice with the neighborhood kids and avoid stealing their things, eat your veggies, and share toys.
RayfordSteele, Apr 21 2017

       // nobody's ever accused me of acting like a Nazi //   

       That's because they're totally terrified of the cohort of vicious black-shirted jackbooted thugs who follow you everywhere in armoured cars adorned with swastikas, brandishing truncheons and bayonets.   

       // I'll delete this thread long before it becomes an Israeli-Palestinian rant war. //   

       That's just the sort of thing Hitler would do.
8th of 7, Apr 21 2017

       Those guys? They're harmless as long as you obey the rules.
RayfordSteele, Apr 21 2017

       Weird, I could have sworn that the cure for malaria was announced like a decade ago, and it's as simple as placing the patient in the right magnetic field intensity, but apparently it's just being found out as we speak.   

       I think I might be flitting between universes again. [link]   

       S'OK, everyone's doing it now. We've just been to a universe where a few of the french seemed almost human. It was disturbing, but good in a kind of weird way.   

       // as long as you obey the rules //   

       These presumably being whatever rules you choose to shout down from your podium at any given moment, depending on how whimsical and petulant you're feeling ?   

       We thought the bit about Lebensraum in the East merited consideration, and we like what you're doing with the straight-arm salute, but that moustache ? Puh-leeese ... and that belt with those boots ? No, no no.
8th of 7, Apr 21 2017

       They're all according to the principles I've unveiled in my book. I presume you've read it? It is strongly advised to do so. Goebbels, please go get a book for Herr 7.
RayfordSteele, Apr 22 2017


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