Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Double Breasted Accordion Waistcoat

Musical waistcoat
  (+15, -1)(+15, -1)
(+15, -1)
  [vote for,

The Double Breasted Accordion is a waistcoat which has been converted into a musical instrument.

It's a simple instrument to construct. All you need do is divide the bellows of an accordion in two and replace the breast pockets of your waistcoat with each of the concertina halves, make them airtight and connect them together with a tube on the inside. (It's best to use a small instrument like a squeeze box as a full sized accordion is only suitable for a very large person)

When not in use, the instrument will protrude forward like two squared or hexagonal breasts, covered with buttons, and make a novel item under a tight T- shirt with its mistaken appearance of having multiple nipples.

Just as your assembled onlookers become sufficiently curious, you simply whip off your T-shirt, and begin playing a jig, alternatively pumping your hands in and out towards you, instead of in the lateral mode of a conventional accordion.

xenzag, Dec 16 2006

Accordions... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Accordion
......and squeeze-boxes [xenzag, Dec 16 2006]

Squeeze - box http://www.meadowla.../Pages/image84.html
more like one of these than an accordion actually [xenzag, Dec 16 2006]

Concertina http://www.hjcjones...concertina/mike.htm
another name for the same type of instrument [xenzag, Dec 16 2006]


       + I love it, but does one play it with the *buttons* on the waistcoat, or are there other buttons on the accordian?
xandram, Dec 16 2006

       It just plays with the buttons already on it, as it usually would. The buttons on the waistcoat only serve to keep the garment in place.
xenzag, Dec 16 2006

       this is mad of course. Love it. +
jonthegeologist, Dec 16 2006

       I'm picturing a cheerful cockney jauntily playing this down the rub-a-dub.   

       It also offers said player some useful protective padding should he be violently assaulted by lager louts who are irked that his music is drowning out the football commentary. [+]
imaginality, Dec 16 2006

po, Dec 16 2006

       Makes a bit of a racket when you're running after a bus, I'll bet...
Dub, Dec 17 2006

       I, sir, demand an illustration.
methinksnot, Dec 17 2006

       you sir may have your wish in a few days time
xenzag, Dec 18 2006

       Thank you 10, from the bottom of my concertina.
methinksnot, Dec 18 2006

       Where are the free-reeds going to vibrate? In a the watch pockets?
Dub, Dec 18 2006

       Crazy boobs.   

       I think the funniest part would be the descending note when you let them go.
nomocrow, Dec 19 2006

       I'm not certain, but I was just watching a show about Cirque Du Soleil's- Beatles Show, Love - And I think they had something like this on stage
Dub, Dec 27 2006

       I'm still waiting for my illustration...
Did you think I had forgotten?
methinksnot, May 30 2007

       "Nobody forgets the [xenzag] illustration".
normzone, May 30 2007

       Not forgotten... just been busy, but off soon for summer - yippeeeeee - Will work up illustration plus loads more similar rubbish. How lucky are you ?   

       ps Hats off to Jutta !!!!!!!!! (and if you don't know why, go back to sleep)
xenzag, May 31 2007

       Lovely! [+]
nuclear hobo, Jun 01 2007


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