Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Electromagnetic panel-beating

  [vote for,

Panel beating is a dying art. When car body panels are dented or dinged, repair is usually done either by replacing the whole panel, or by filling. This is understandable, since proper panel beating requires considerable skill and, since the panel must be accessed from both sides, may require a lot of extra work.

Panel beating woes - begone!!

MaxMotor, Inc., is proud to introduce its new instant magnetic panel beating system.

Make-specific body shops will be able to purchase a full set of templates for current models. Each set consists of several templates, one for each body panel. Each template in the set is a dense transparent cast-resin negative of the body panel in question, with a series of small holes connected to vacuum ports.

To use, simply select the correct template, hook up the vacuum, and place it over the body panel on the car. The vacuum will hold it securely in place, and the vacuum gauges will tell you if anything is preventing it from seating correctly.

With the template in place, simply plug in the handy- dandy capacitative supersolenoidal electromagnetic gun (a block and tackle may be necessary for this part). Place the end of the gun against the template directly over the dent, wait until the capacitors are fully charged, and pull the trigger.

In the twinkling of an instant, the discharge of the capacitors through the gun's coils will create a brief but alarmingly strong magnetic field. With a satisfying "thunk", the dent will be pulled out against the template, leaving the panel perfectly re-formed.

No access to the rear of the panel is required and, as a bonus, the paintwork will often be left undamaged as well.

For the home-mechanic or general bodyshop, to save the expense of keeping templates for all possible panels, a template-making kit is available, allowing templates to be custom-made using an undamaged panel as the mold.

The more ambitious home-mechanic may even choose to restyle their car, by applying templates from other models, within reason.

MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 11 2011


       sp. penile
rcarty, Oct 11 2011

       Is there an implicit assumption here that cars are made out of magnetic metals? Because all the parts of my car that need fixing are plastics.
normzone, Oct 11 2011

       Plastics? On a car? Are you sure that dashboard isn't just burr walnut made to _look_ like plastic?
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 11 2011

       Maybe the poor chap is referring to the insulation on the cabling.   

       Apparently, some parts of the alternator, distributor and starter motor are made of Bakelite, even in Rolls-Royces and Bentleys.
8th of 7, Oct 11 2011

       As you point out, Bakelite is used to make some parts of the better cars. It was also used in Spitfires. Therefore, by definition, it is not a plastic.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 11 2011

       <deferential bow>
8th of 7, Oct 11 2011


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