h a l f b a k e r y
The phrase 'crumpled heap' comes to mind.
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I rarely use microwaves to prepare food for myself,
I do use them for others. Anyone who has used most
microwaves will be aware that they tend to have rather
basic user interfaces, not even as sophisticated as a line
editor. If you make a mistake, at least on the example in
house, you have little option but to delete
and start again.
If they are going to have digital interfaces, and they
needn't but usually have, they should at least be up to
level of, well I was going to say something like the
line editor but actually sod it, Emacs. I want Emacs for
microwaves, controllable via a touch-sensitive screen
displaying a QWERTY keyboard, to enter the necessary
information to nuke a spud. I want it to tell me the
of the Moon, act as a therapist and have a built-in
adventure game. This would allow me to program the
microwave using a calendar, store different microwave
regimes for different foods and prepare special meals for
the full moon.
This could be done by interfacing ancient computer
hardware to microwave ovens.
Raspberry Pi microwave oven
Could do this. Also makes this unnecessary most of the time. [notexactly, Mar 18 2018]
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||It really wouldn't be that difficult to put USB, WiFi and an RJ45 connector on the back of the box. Microcontrollers are already starting to support the hardware and protocol stacks at chip level. Then it could link to anything.
||You could, for example, link it to a PDP-4 ... but then why bother with a microwave oven ? Just put the food on the top of the PDP-4 and watch it sizzle. "Fried bit-slice, anyone ?"
||A Honeywell-316 would be appropriate.
||Unless you've edited FORTRAN using George 3, you're just playing
||No IOT-capable microwave for me, thanks. I do not want the
North Koreans, or worse yet, some basement-dwelling Linux
fan hacking in to nuke my food to the wrong temperature.
||Could be worse, could be vi.
||//Unless you've edited FORTRAN using George 3, you're just playing at it.//
||Pah. Unless you have personally removed Alphabetti Spaghetti from the innermost workings of a Babbage Difference Engine, you've merely dabbled.
||And, like [Rayfo], I am not enamoured of things that talk to other things behind my back. One day, when we have working computers, it may be feasible.
||Nice idea, though I'd prefer Vim, and why stop at microwaves? All
domestic appliances should be fully command-line driven.
||... and support macros and shell scripts.
||The interface should be that of a mid-'70's text
> It is dark
>The light is on. You see the inside of a
metal box with a sealed container at its
>The container says
"M&S Lasagne for one" on it
>The lasagne is cooking
||>The microwave interior is encrusted with a hard
substance , the resulf of a lack of cleaning over a
> Clean microwave
> Wipe substance
>> I can't see any substance here.
> Disinfect microwave
>Close microwave door
>>It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a
>>The microwave opens. A light inside turns on,
microwave interior, and the kitchen. The microwave
interior is encrusted with a hard jewel-like
substance , the resulf of a lack of cleaning over a
The kitchen is sparse but functional.
>................... ...................... .....done!
c:\>file not found
||Hmm, is there any scope for amusing fiction written in the style
of a MUD session ?
> The lasagne is cooked
>>> open door
> The door is open. The light is on. You see the inside of a metal
box with a sealed container at its centre.
>>>pick up container
> The container has exploded. Your hands and face are covered
in scalding lasagne. You can not see. You are in pain. You can not
use your hands. You have1325 Wound points. You are still hungry. You have 83 Strength
points. You have 213 Gold pieces. You have 0Healing potions. You have 0 Food items.
> There is a Dragon here. The
Dragon is angry. The Dragon
is very angry. The Dragon is shouting at you. The Dragon is telling
to stop screaming, and what the bloody hell have you done to
her kitchen ? The Dragon asks if you are not capable of reading a
set of simple instructions. The Dragon does not care how much it
hurts, it bloody well serves you right, now get on and clean the
mess up. The Dragon does not know why she married you or
what she ever saw in you, the Dragon's mother was right. The Dragon should have listened to her mother.
have been struck a right ding alongside the ear with a heavy
blunt object. There is a Le Creuset cast iron frying pan here. You can not see. You are in great pain. You can not
use your hands. You are bleeding from a head wound. The
Dragon has left. The Dragon has taken all your Gold pieces and
gone to the pub. You have2108 Wound points. You are still hungry. You have 17 Strength
points. You have 0 Gold pieces. You have 0Healing potions. You have 0 Food items. You feel your life ebbing away.
> Session suspended due to user inactivity.
||Oh, well, if you like that, we'll have a go at fiction then.
||>You are amazed at the badly-written passages all alike.
||Everyone's a critic. Just try writing a D&D programme in BASIC that lacks even an explicit IF ... THEN ... ELSE construct, on a machine with 32kB of RAM and an 8 bit CPU.
||//lacks IF...THEN...ELSE...construct// ON X GOTO 100,200, N00
was a fair substitute, though I suppose needs some data plumbing
to use to full effect.
||Why is it just assumed that the control should be digital? I
feel much finer control could be achieved with an analog
system, obviously some nice glowing vacuum tubes are a
positive addition to any domestic appliance. There are
further advantages, the sort of voltages a cavity magnetron
uses could be manipulated directly, no clunky off/on relays
between the low and high voltage sections. Control should
be via a series of nice ceramic knobs and an oscilloscope.
||Will there be a big We-Belong-Dead knife switch with a brown Bakelite handle ?
||Oh yes, must have an oscilloscope.
||Presumably there's a version of the Interocitor that can perform cookery functions.