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Eurovision Fight Club

My Country Could Kick Your Country's Arse
  (+8, -1)
(+8, -1)
  [vote for,

Held once in a year is the newest phenomenon in country vs. country competition. One competitor representing each of the 40 Eurovision countries are assembled in a 20ft by 20ft steel cage. No weapons are allowed, same goes for eye gouging, but that is the limit of the restrictions. There is a small door in the corner of the cage for failed competitors. This is a straight up – fight to the finish where competitors are eliminated when they tap-out or fall unconscious. This should lead to a fair fight which would tell us all which European country produces the finest fighters. However, it doesn’t.

Instead the idea of every man for himself falls by the wayside to be replaced by honouring political alliances. Political commentators judge the international reputation of a country by its finishing position. Will the Baltic States all join up to pummel the competition? Will everyone begin by beating the U.K. into submission? Will the Greek and the Turkish champion single each other out of the pack for a thrashing? This is truly the one political forum where Sweden’s pacifism will not be an advantage.

Terry Wogan commentates.

hidden truths, Feb 01 2006

Eurovision Song Contest http://en.wikipedia...vision_Song_Contest
[calum, Feb 01 2006]

Terry Wogan for [jutta] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terry_Wogan
Apparently he has a doctorate from the University of Limerick. I'm quite jealous. [hidden truths, Feb 02 2006]


       [you knew you'd get this, didn't you?] "You do not talk about Eurovision Fight Club".
coprocephalous, Feb 01 2006

       "2 men enter, one man leave" shouts the BarterTown crowd, while Tina Turner sings (in that sexy-raggedy torn dress.)
xandram, Feb 01 2006

       Presumably, all this violence would be soundtracked by a compilation of Eurovision Song Contest hits past? #Ooooh, I wonder if one day that *batter!* you'll say that *thwack!* you care# &c.
calum, Feb 01 2006

moomintroll, Feb 01 2006

       Bun for the obligatory Terry Wogan.
david_scothern, Feb 01 2006

       I have no idea who Terry Wogan is, but now that Franz Ferdinand song is stuck in my head again. Damn you.
jutta, Feb 02 2006

       I'm not sure I understand the rules, but it sounds like a version of RISK with pro wrestlers.
Cube, Feb 02 2006

       [copro], I wasn't expecting that until the 3rd or 4th annotation. We are willing to relax the rule with regard to Wogan talking about Eurovisison Fight Club.   

       [calum], that sounds more like Batman Eurovision.   

       [Cube], having never played risk in my life, it seems an ostensibly fair analogy, if simplistic.
hidden truths, Feb 02 2006

       "Boom bang a bang" perhaps the first Eurovision song?
Miss Bianca, Feb 02 2006


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