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"Congratulations! You visited Aldi more times this month than all your friends!"
"You've completed a sea-level ascent of Everest this year without leaving Norfolk."
"Your average speed for the month of January was 1.41mph. Your average velocity vector was 0.00mph."
"You've just completed another lap of the M25!"
"Congratulations! You didn't visit Scotland in 2015!"
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