Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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It might be better to just get another gerbil.

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Exploding Rhinos

make rhino's horns explode
  (+5, -2)
(+5, -2)
  [vote for,

Rhinos are being hunted to extinction to fuel the demand of idiots who believe their horns impart mythical powers. (another example of the destructive effect of market forces)

Many rhinos in places like Zimbabwe have had their horns removed to protect them on the logic that no horn = not worth poaching, but I have another proposal: make it too dangerous to risk cutting off any rhino horn.

This would be achieved by a systematic implantation of small but powerful explosive devices into the horns of a percentage of tranquillised animals. All Rhinos would also wear a clearly visible coloured ring around their horn to indicate that it was booby trapped and any attempt at cutting into the horn will result in a catastrophic detonation. This detonation would also contaminate those left alive in the vicinity with radioactive material, meaning they can easily be detected in follow up searches. Now no one knows which rhino carries the deadly implant as they all wear the warning ring.

A specialised encrypted signal can disable the charge at any time, but the poachers won't have access to that technology. From now on, rhinos will become an animal to avoid killing as there is no way of cutting off the horn without it being totally destroyed in the resulting detonation, taking the poachers with it. A little bit of media coverage and word of mouth will soon spread the message. Rhino Horn = Poachers Gone.

xenzag, Feb 13 2021

Guns for zebras Guns_20for_20Zebras
Since we're arming wildlife... [Voice, Feb 13 2021]

Bear removes womans arm https://www.mirror....womans-arm-13775707
[whatrock, Feb 15 2021]

How sweet it is... https://www.youtube..._channel=ClioHughes
[whatrock, Feb 16 2021]


       We prefer the scheme of flooding the market with rhino horn (real or fake) impregnated with TCDD, but [+] for the reckless deployment of explosives and radionuclides.   

       We foresee some minor practical difficulties, but this is the HB after all ...
8th of 7, Feb 13 2021

       Well this isn't anything like Exploding Kittens at all...   

       No, those are Baked ... oooops ....   

       Nothing to see here, folks, move right along ....
8th of 7, Feb 13 2021

xenzag, Feb 13 2021

       // grrrrrrrrr //   

       No, more sort of "Miaow .... Miaow .... MiaaBOOMspatter ... snigger"
8th of 7, Feb 13 2021

       here's a slightly different approach:
1. teach elephants to farm, meaning self-directed farming by elephants (who have famously good memories)
2. sell elephants firearms in exchange for elephant-grown crops
3. elephant freedom
4. rhinos live peacefully in the great state of elephant
sninctown, Feb 13 2021

       Well, Elephant guns are Baked and WKTE ...
8th of 7, Feb 13 2021

       You had me at "exploding".
Voice, Feb 13 2021

       Wouldn't a specialised, ivory coloured, horn shaped M18 claymore be the weapon of choice? Only psychological damage done to Rhino.
wjt, Feb 14 2021

       I daresay this would morph into a sick sharpshooting exercise: Locate appropriate rhino, aim at horn, squeeze trigger, rhino splattered everywhere.
whatrock, Feb 14 2021

       You do realise that there are no wild rhinos in America.
xenzag, Feb 14 2021

       No, but we have our share of riled winos though.   

       That's because they have the right to arm bears or something.
8th of 7, Feb 14 2021


       I heard of someone who fed their right arm to a bear
pocmloc, Feb 15 2021

       I can think of no better way of getting rid of an unwanted extra arm than feeding it to a bear. More details please: was it still attached etc? Was there an "after arm" snack for the bear - a few toes perhaps?
xenzag, Feb 15 2021

       A caged bear at a holiday party ripped a womans arm off after she refused to share her alcohol [link]. The bear consumed its prize and said it intends to display the bones on its cave walls.
whatrock, Feb 15 2021

       PETA is thinking about giving you "The Medal of Something:. They love you. So do I.
blissmiss, Feb 15 2021

       //A caged ...// Very Gary Larsen, nice.   

       Today I did have a far side thought. A human was cleaning up some poop, from the verge, from one of his two dogs and I am sure the watching dog was calling that other dog, master's pet.
wjt, Feb 16 2021

       In memory of my friend Yiftah PashHour murdered in 1983 with an exploding donkey in Lebanon.
pashute, Feb 17 2021

       That was a horrible incident and a cowardly act of despicable cruelty.
xenzag, Feb 17 2021

       Shalom, [pashute]. Sorry to hear about your friend.
pertinax, Feb 17 2021

       ^ what they both said   

       ^ What a tragedy. Sympathy, sadness, and hopeful wishes for the future.
sninctown, Feb 18 2021

       True, It is sad people have to get deeply pained by someone forcing their will.
wjt, Feb 18 2021


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