Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Fishy Fish Nets

Fish Net Stockings that have caught fish
  (+12, -5)
(+12, -5)
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against]

The fish would be attached to the stockings in such a way as to be trapped between the mesh and the wearer’s leg. They would be comfortable and easy to wear as they would be flat and light-weight. Being mechanical fakes, they would make subtle movements, wriggling and blinking their eyes from time to time, to either disconcert, or attract the attention of the even bigger fish who would naturally not be able to take their own eyes off them.

Eels would slither and quiver up the back of each of the stockings, replacing the traditional seams, their heads disappearing mysteriously from view beyond the skirt’s hemline. To extend the theme, the supporting suspenders could be joined by a pair of snapping crab claws, activated by the moving presence of any wandering hand, that failed to either approach with appropriate decorum or invitation.

Naturally there would be several varieties of fish on offer to compliment the wearer’s moods and general style - ranging from defensive piranhas, warning off all but the most determined suitor, to shoals of iridescent tropical minnows dancing wantonly in harmonic rhythm to the sultry beat of a night club.

xenzag, Feb 15 2006

Didn' even enter my mind Sleep_20With_20The_20Fishes
[theircompetitor, Feb 16 2006]

The mola mola http://www.mola.org/mola/molamola.gif
I've run into these fish diving - they're friendly and curious [normzone, Feb 16 2006]

[sophocles] smile http://animals.timd...n/DOLPHIN-SMILE.JPG
I think it'spretty dolphinny [normzone, Feb 17 2006]

[link]






       I wouldn't like to wear these but I won't carp on about it.
po, Feb 15 2006
  

       Fishnets always look best when worn with 'eels.
wagster, Feb 15 2006
  

       You could dance the conger in these.
skinflaps, Feb 15 2006
  

       Also whale nets,when you need to catch a big fish...
100 percent, Feb 15 2006
  

       A wiggling fish to stick down your tights sounds like something from the erotic emporium. But I guess you might find a market at Halloween.
DrCurry, Feb 15 2006
  

       I'm floundering for a fish pun.   

       // You could dance the conger in these // Good Cod [wagster], that's dreadful ;)
jonthegeologist, Feb 15 2006
  

       This is not finny.
normzone, Feb 16 2006
  

       So long as they don't sing.
nick_n_uit, Feb 16 2006
  

       As a practical joke, give someone an electric-eel for this!   

       [nick] Most indubitably; don't let them sing.
DesertFox, Feb 16 2006
  

       [boysparks], I though you had the mussel to resist temptation.
normzone, Feb 16 2006
  

       That odor is just a fluke.   

       "It's doing a new dance, it's called the mola-mola" she replied.
normzone, Feb 16 2006
  

       this is really a bottom feeding form of humor.
theircompetitor, Feb 16 2006
  

       I thought I smelt something.
normzone, Feb 17 2006
  

       [+] for the idea.   

       But SHAME on those annos with bad fish puns. It's bad enough to do it once, but on nearly EVERY idea that has "fish" is just too much. It leaves a stale aftertaste on an otherwise fresh idea.
sophocles, Feb 17 2006
  

       Verily, get thee to a punnery, the lot of you, 'ere I dust run you through with my pike.
ConsulFlaminicus, Feb 17 2006
  

       (soph) I know what you mean by fish puns, but I don't mind them if they are original. I had thought of a Houndstooth coat, embellished au naturale with gnashing teeth, but the fishnets were beckoning me. Also possible - Moleskin trousers (with captive moles on leashes that can be let loose to dig the garden)
xenzag, Feb 17 2006
  

       [sophocles] Do you mean really fresh or what they refer to as fresh frozen?
normzone, Feb 17 2006
  

       Guess he wasn't around for that whole fish tie business.
DrCurry, Feb 17 2006
  

       and here I thought he was a true afiscionado
theircompetitor, Feb 17 2006
  

       for the record, i have owned & worn a clip-on plastic fish tie, and have been guilty of inflicting puns on others here & elsewhere.   

       i just don't feel the need to encourage re-hashing of old ones. bah! humbug!   

       ok, now i'll go spend the weekend working on my smile.
sophocles, Feb 17 2006
  

       (as seen in link)
normzone, Feb 17 2006
  

       Thanks. Smile restored already. God, I do love this halfbakery....
sophocles, Feb 18 2006
  

       So, we're switching to mammal puns now?
ConsulFlaminicus, Feb 18 2006
  

       Aw c'mon deer, I'll giveyou some of ma's soup if you stop lion about.
ConsulFlaminicus, Feb 18 2006
  

       From reading the annos you might think that this whole thread started out with just a pun. God forbid.
wagster, Feb 18 2006
  

       //Guess he wasn't around for that whole fish tie business.// Groan.
DesertFox, Feb 18 2006
  

       Fish/London Underground trivia: "St John's Wood" is the only station on the whole London Underground with no letters in common with the word "mackerel".
hippo, Feb 20 2006
  

       Baker/Wardrobe Malfunction trivia: Hippopotamus is a spooky anagram for Pop Out Mishap.
ConsulFlaminicus, Feb 20 2006
  

       Thanks for that, [Fun colic in slums]
coprocephalous, Feb 20 2006
  

       I see an accessory: Block and Tackle Garters.
reensure, Feb 20 2006
  
      
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