Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Fission Chips

Nuclear fallout-themed restaurant
  (+5)
(+5)
  [vote for,
against]

The servers are in worn combat fatigues and gas masks. The walls have chipped, bomb-blasted holes in the plaster exposing crumbling, soot-blackened red brick inside. The roof and walls have wide, gaping holes in them, clear through to the outside, covered by patio umbrellas and "distressed" tarps. The floor is uneven and cracked, the booths are partially sunken in bomb craters. Their specialty dish is seafood poutine, but they pronounce it "Putin".
21 Quest, Mar 21 2022

You've got to be kidding me! https://thenudge.co...-do/nuclear-winter/
Nobody likes a "Nya nya nya, it's been baked!" poster so it pains me to post this. [doctorremulac3, Mar 21 2022]

[link]






       [+], but I'd like it better if it were a retro, 50s nuclear scare theme. Kind of remind us that we've gotten through this before eh?   

       This one's good too though.   

       Although I think it would have to be called "American Russian / Fusion Restaurant".
doctorremulac3, Mar 21 2022
  

       Patrons sat on the floor under oversized school desks?
21 Quest, Mar 21 2022
  

       Maybe the bar has a "duck and cover" theme with desks over each seat?   

       I know you're sort of kidding with this, but a nuclear war themed bar? I'd have to go check it out. Sort of makes a statement doesn't it? If I knew the missiles were flying I might want a shot or two to take the edge off.   

       "Well barkeep, that's the end of the world, shot of your third most expensive wisky please. Oh what the hell, second most expensive wisky!"
doctorremulac3, Mar 21 2022
  

       Complete with real, live rats scurrying around. Whenever health inspectors come near, air ride sirens announce their arrival and the (trained) rats scurry out of sight.   

       Dude, I'd totally check it out. And everything, of course, is "nuked" in a microwave.
21 Quest, Mar 21 2022
  

       This would at the very least, attract world wide attention. Your bar would be the number one news story of the day. Unless WW3 started, then it would be #2.   

       There would not be a single nuclear apocalypse pun left unspoken.
doctorremulac3, Mar 21 2022
  

       Not a single one.
21 Quest, Mar 21 2022
  

       Ugh, you've got to be kidding me. (link)   

       So what, yours is better! Bun proudly left intact!
doctorremulac3, Mar 21 2022
  

       God DAMN it, they even beat me to the fission chips pun! You're right though, it's not the same thing.
21 Quest, Mar 21 2022
  

       Bastards!   

       I say go the fusion route. Do we even use A bombs any more?
doctorremulac3, Mar 21 2022
  

       Nahhh fusion restaurants are all over the place.
21 Quest, Mar 21 2022
  

       But not "nuclear fusion" restaurants.   

       Oh well, probably need to move on. Bummer, that was a bunner.   

       Eh, on second thought, I'd leave it up. Yours is slightly different. Good enough for me.
doctorremulac3, Mar 21 2022
  

       Behind every door (bathrooms, fridge, ovens, cupboards) there's a blue/green glow. Gets slowly brighter over time while "in use" (bathroom occupied, oven cooking, fridge or cupboard open...). Food is moved/served with 3m long grabs, suspended from the ceiling (chains & monorails).
For extra fun, randomly (maybe once a month or so?) have an oven go "critical" & evacuate everyone to the patio dining area for a specialty dish.
neutrinos_shadow, Mar 21 2022
  

       Excellent.   

       Here's one. You know how in some grocery stores in the produce section they play a recording of thunder before the sprayers come on to keep the veggies from drying out? Every once in a while you hear a roar, the TVs in the place show a mushroom cloud and the lighting would get real bright and then blacklights would illuminate the place to make it look like everybody's glowing with radiation for a few seconds while fallout is sprinkled over everybody. (it's actually confetti)   

       Be a little like the Restaurant At The End Of The Universe if anybody's familiar with that.
doctorremulac3, Mar 21 2022
  

       Of course, it's just at the *other* end of the universe.
21 Quest, Mar 21 2022
  

       You know, the black humor of this would really appeal to people. Got a laughing (and drinking) in the face of death vibe to it.   

       Might even send a message to the madmen with nukes out there. "Hey! These guys are crazy! They don't even fear death! I'm taking my toys and going home!".
doctorremulac3, Mar 21 2022
  

       Imagine if whole cities did this in wartime. Sort of "predistress" the city, give it the appearance that it's already been completely trashed before the enemy even gets there. When they finally arrive, they're greeted by a local gesturing around broadly to some demolished buildings (little do the invaders know, they had already been scheduled for demolition) saying "whatcha gonna do, knock down another building? G'ahead! See what we care!"
21 Quest, Mar 21 2022
  

       There is something very cool about having a particular additude in the face of peril.
doctorremulac3, Mar 21 2022
  

       I can not believe this is baked. Not in a million years. I think you should let it stand because it was certainly not "widely known to exist". Who would have thunk?
blissmiss, Mar 22 2022
  

       On the realist's side, you could never get this place clean enough to pass an inspection. And if it were, it would look clearly fake. But my buns don't care about reality...
RayfordSteele, Mar 22 2022
  

       Hear hear.   

       Additional idea, waiterspersons in radiation suits with "geiger counters" that read when the drinks are getting low. So they walk up, point the meter wand thingy at various drinks they see are low, turn up the "crick crick crick" sound button and say "Refill that Moscow's Revenge for you ma'am?
doctorremulac3, Mar 22 2022
  

       It's also not quite the same thing. That one is a Soviet-era Cold War theme. Mine is set in the aftermath.
21 Quest, Mar 22 2022
  

       Yours smokes (literally) theirs sucks.   

       I'd emplore the boner to reconsider, this is actually a timely and very positive idea.   

       Speaking of smokes, little steam features here and there would blow smoke looking vapor up towards the ceiling where exhaust fans suck them up and blow them out so the place doesn't get too humid.   

       Oooh oooh! When the nukes go off the place lights up with infrared heat lamps for the duration of the blast.
doctorremulac3, Mar 22 2022
  

       First the air raid sirens, then everyone collectively dons sunglasses just before a huge flashbulb goes off, temporarily blinding all unprotected eyes.
21 Quest, Mar 22 2022
  

       Is this too much? After the simulated nuking, (where everybody cheers) There's a video of an actor playing Putin laughing maniacally, then he stops and the smile drops from his face as he hears the whistling of a bomb dropping (I know, nukes don't whistle, this is art) his eyes look up and he says "der'mo" before the scene explodes. Then everybody claps again.
doctorremulac3, Mar 22 2022
  

       Ha!
21 Quest, Mar 22 2022
  
      
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