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Innuendo Cafe
Wouldn't it be great if you could sit down at a nice restaurant and order naughty items from the menu? | |
The meals served at this restaurant would be right-tasty cuisine, but the names would all have some slang reference to sexual terms, just for giggles. This wouldn't necessarily be an adults-only restaurant, but the jokes would go over the kids' heads while the adults all laugh at the things they order.
Example
menu items:
* Hot Buns - free, warmed bread
* Hand Job - finger food
* Filthy Sanchez - "garbage" nachos (with everything on them)
* Sloppy Seconds - yesterday's Sloppy Joe
* Ham Wallet - a fine ham sandwich
* Hot Gobbler - roast turkey sandwich
* Baloney Pony - Balogna sandwich, possibly with some pony-shaped bread or garnish
* Fish Tacos / Flog the Dolphin - fish tacos
* Chimichangas - chimichangas
* Tube Steak - A fine sausage or a funly shaped cut of steak
* Hide the Sausage - sausages covered with other ingredients
* Bearded Clam - Clam dish or Oysters served with "beards" of cheese and spinach
* Pork Sandwich - pork sandwich
* Doggie Style / Hot Dog in a Hallway - cocktail wienies in an over-sized bun
* Beans and Franks - hot dogs and barbecue beans
* Choke the Chicken - some sort of chicken dish
* Boner - slab of ribs
* Flash Your Rack - rack of lamb
* Bits 'n' Pieces - a fine mish-mash of various veggies
* Toss Your Salad? - a lovely bowl of fresh greens and various other goodies
* Spotted Dick - Spotted Dick :)
* Cream Pie - some sort of fluffy dessert
* Take a Cherry - add a cherry to your drink of choice
* Black Cherry - chocolate covered cherry dessert
* Brownie - brownie
* Boob Juice - milk
* Melons - fruit plate of watermelon, honeydew, and cantaloupe
* Nut Sack / Bust a Nut - a nutty dessert or hazelnut drink
* Spank the Monkey - mashed banana dessert
I'm sure there are plenty of other possibilities. Got any special requests?
Dirty Slang Dictionary
http://www.scribd.c...ty-Slang-Dictionary
Just another list of fun terms [XSarenkaX, Oct 13 2010]
Sex-Lexis.com
http://www.sex-lexis.com/
Look up naughty terms or browse [XSarenkaX, Oct 14 2010]
rude food names
http://blogs.laweek...en-rude-food-names/
[xandram, Oct 14 2010]
Obligatory Link
http://www.milkinfi...y/profanisaurus.htm
fish mitten, vampire's teabags, egg mcwhiff etc etc [calum, Oct 15 2010]
Moebius Strip Club
Mobius_20Strip_20Club
[theircompetitor, Oct 17 2010]
[link]
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Well done! Great to see you on here, [XSarenkaX]. [+] |
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Hurray, praise! It's been literally years since I had an original idea worth posting at the Halfbakery. Back in the beginning, I was just pouring them out onto the screen - then I ran out of ideas and stopped. |
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God I wish I didn't read that. |
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[doctorremulac3]: You have no idea how proud your comment made me feel. Thanks! |
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What fun, XSX! I'm always in awe of your ability to
flash your sexuality in public like the way you do.
Yay! |
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[blissmiss]! Fancy seeing YOU here. I'm so sorry I've been absent from the 'bakery for so long. Its great to be back. |
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Sexuality ain't nothin' but a thang anyway. Glad it made you smile. |
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Ooh, "flash" gave me another idea. (I keep adding ones as I think of them, by the way.) |
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* Knee trembler - the waitress will 'accidentally' kick
you in the shin while rushing past on her way to
another table.
* A nice pair - a nice
pear
* Massive cock - chicken, actually |
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* Innuendo Special - An enormous Kookwurst embedded in a butternut pumpkin. |
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* Meat and two veg - meat and two vegetables (thanks to Benny Hill) |
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* Hair pie - coconut cream pie topped with toasted coconut. |
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* Little man in a boat - gingerbread man with dipping caramel |
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* Hummer - apple cider a bit past its expiration date |
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Good to see you back, [XSarenkaX]! |
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* Pork sword - pork sword |
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Toad in the hole - Toad in the hole |
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Old Mother Hubbard - Sausage baked in pastry, doggy style. |
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As a table decoration, a portrait of the customer composed on a plate of dried spices. Cumin My Face. |
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+ haha, too early for me to think right now, but I'm sure laughing!!! (I'll try to put my dirty mind in gear soon!) I can't believe no one ordered a Vagina Jam and Penis butter sandwich! (well, that's not really innuendo- is it?) |
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"Hallo, innuendo cafe. Yes, we take reservations. When? Yes, we have a slot we can fit you into. Great, well if you've got nothing on we'll be happy to have you." |
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* "milkshake" - milkshake
//Cumin My Face// - clever! |
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* 3 way lay = 3 eggs over easy
* well stacked = pancakes
* morning wood = dry toast |
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I'll have a big portion please. |
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Many great additions, guys! Keep it coming. ;) |
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* Cheesy knob - a chunk of mature cheddar |
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* Lesbian sisters - two papalina (freshly salted sardines) from the Gulf of Kalloni |
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Massive Jugs - Beverage of choice, served in capacious pouring vessels. |
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Butt Monkey - A primate served in a rainwater barrel. |
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Double Entendre - any cocktail ordered by a female, so the bartneder can give her one. |
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* Whore's doovers - menu sub-heading |
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* to go “all the way” - 3 courses inclusive |
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To be sure, your drink selection will include tang. Yes? |
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* In Your End Oh= roasted butt portions
* Hide the Pickle = sandwich w/ pickle slices
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The bill and the gratuity should be printed on separate reciepts so the diner can give the waiter/waitress "just the tip". |
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*MMF - Milkshake & Monster Fries
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Looks like a hard "HUGE" bun to me. Sort of... |
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Leg opener - small chicken drumsticks served as entré.
Menage-a-trois - three different mains/meats on one plate.
Vah-Jay-Jay - vegetable and juniper juice (that the best I could come up with to fit VJJ...) |
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I can see this restaurant attracting a large clientele, but the
problem is that 13-year-old schoolboys don't often have the
spending power to sustain a business. |
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* bun in the oven - a freshly baked bread roll |
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I think they're all at the restaurant, ogling the waitresses and hoping they'll be able to lick the err... plates, clean. |
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I think the cafe should be called "The Y". |
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We'll be dining at The Y tonight, darling. |
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*Creamed Jeans - A soup that looks a lot like cream of cauliflower, served in a denim patterned bowl. |
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*Ben Dover Sole - White fish, poached with a little butter, lemon, parsley and salt and pepper. |
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*Rollover Baby - Dessert, prepared and ready to go then flipped upside down and presented with a dollop of butter in the middle. |
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"Boob juice" would hardly sail over the kids heads. |
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Limit the menu to German and Mexican dishes and name the restaurant "Herr Taco". |
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"Rape Roman Style" = Monkfish (Anglerfish) in romano sauce. |
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Found in actual English menu section from Spanish "Rape a la Romana"
Tasty, BTW. |
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O.T. Also included Clamps for Clams and Sea Nails as Sea Snails |
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*carpet munch - a crispy salad sandwich made on extra-large slices of bread. |
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*Parsley Burger - What it says on the menu, unshaven. |
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*Huge pair of tits - it's just a regular BLT but with an hilarious
name. |
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*Big Lesbian Twat - it's just a regular BLT but with an offputting name. |
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* Baby Batter with Runny Honey - mini pancakes with syrup |
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Not *everybody's* cup of tea. |
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Cleveland Steamer - hot fudge sundae. |
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Whenever I hear someone say "not my cup of tea" in
future, I will instantly picture them gargling firemen. |
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This menu is basically everything mentioned in Deuce
Bigalo, eg. Turkish Snowcone. |
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Presumably I'd have to put on my best pearl necklace before visiting? |
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EDIT: Also, "Shank of Love" - The chef's special lamb shank. |
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"Excuse me miss, what is this fly doing in my schtoop dujour?" |
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Thanks for this whimsy, [XSX]! Buns up, baby! [+] |
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*Last Tango in Paris - orange flavour fizzy drink,
served with butter |
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Two on one: A double cheeseburger.
Gangbang: appetizer sampler.
S&M: sandwich and mashed potatoes.
Cockring: fried chicken arranged in a circle.
Whiskeydick: Sausage sautéed in a whiskey sauce.
Fudgepacker: Pastry filled with nutella. |
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I love that this post is adding so much joy to the HB world. I'm sure there are thousands of other menu items I've never heard of yet. Enlighten me, friends. |
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//Also a half decent contraceptive (well it worked for me).// |
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Apparently not. You're still here, however ill-conceived. |
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Lick Yours - Liqueurs, of course |
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* I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours - can I have the bill please? /or/ would you like to see the bill? |
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I really shouldn't say "marblecake".
Yogurt slinger:
yogurt in a gel shell.
honeypot: honey
confection.
bukkake: Japanese noodles (really!
look it up) |
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Dammit [voice] I have been hoping all week to think of an Asian food of that name but not daring to google for it. Anyway, a tip of the hat to you for this one. I'll take a double order of it! |
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Yeah, beat me to it as well. I was going to go with Boo Cakey. A lovely sponge cake served with multiple splashes of single cream, to be consumed whilst being heckled by the staff. |
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* cum shot - vodka with single cream |
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* Bust a Nut - Shelled walnuts, peanuts, or pistachios, with a mallet |
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//with a mallet// stiletto, shirley. |
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I remember a joke Chinese menu which featured such dishes as 'Wot kun fu dat (tossed salad)' |
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wow - I can't believe we've gotten this far without a single reference to jerked meat! |
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* bump & grind - fresh herbs served in a mini mortar & pestle, as a seasoning |
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