Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Flatulence-induced global warming mitigation

Increase consumption of pheeeshhh-generating vegetables
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This is a plan to fight climate change via a change in the digestive dynamics of the world population.

:: First, the consumption of flatulence-inducing vegetables will be stimulated by governments and businesses. Onions, beans, etc... This could be framed in a transition towards global vegetarianism (already in itself a way to combat climate change).

:: Secondly, all the pheeeeshes and phoaarts have to be countered. If not, our atmosphere might have a new problem and we might enter the age of the Big Stink. And emit loads of methane, a potent greenhouse gas.

:: In order to counter global farting, there is a simple intervention: the free distribution of charcoal tablets.

:: The farts will disappear, but when the consumer now poos, he will excrete copious amounts of stable carbon which sequesters atmospheric CO2.

:: These only very slowly degradable charcoal particles will either flow away to septic tanks, or be accumulated at water and sh!t-treatment plants, where the goo can be collected and given out to farmers, who can put the char in their soils, and boost farm output (biochar) while sequestering carbon.

A global flatulence policy may thus be an effective way to combat global warming. It will also boost the profits of the fart-inducing vegetables industry.

django, Feb 02 2011

What, That Global Warming Thing Again? Helium_20Charged_20Dog_20Food
I thought I had the global warming problem solved by creating a Doodysphere with floating doggie product --- once a decent layer of doggie product is in place in the newly-formed Doodysphere, harmful rays from the sun could not reach earth. At least it made sense in my bath tub. [Grogster, Feb 03 2011]

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       //stable carbon which sequester atmospheric CO2//
At some point in time while writing this post did you say "oops... oh what-the-hell, nobody'll notice..."
FlyingToaster, Feb 02 2011
  

       Kommon FlyingToaster, surely you know the carbon cycle? For people like you I thought to skip that part, and go a bit quick (else the entry would be a bit long and boring).   

       But ok, here you are: charcoal is biomass transformed by pyrolysis, and the carbon in biomass comes from atmospheric CO2. So charcoal is CO2 transformed into a stable form.   

       Or did you merely point at the spelling error(s)? If so, apologies, I'm non-English speaking.
django, Feb 02 2011
  

       //A global flatulence policy may thus be an effective way to combat global warming// Never mind whether the chemistry makes sense or not. For that sentence, you get a [+]
mouseposture, Feb 03 2011
  

       :: Methane is odourless   

       :: AFAIK, charcoal tablets don't absorb much methane; they reduce smell by absorbing larger, stinkogenic molecules.   

       :: The energy consumed in getting charcoal tablets to the consumer would more than outweigh the carbon in the tablets themselves. Unless you just ate a bit of charcoal out of the fireplace, which is a valid thing to do.   

       Perhaps this idea should be "Save the planet - light your farts!"
spidermother, Feb 03 2011
  

       I'm not so sure about the idea--but I do like your double-colon method of bulleting, and the concept of a "fart-inducing vegetables industry" is very amusing.
DrWorm, Feb 03 2011
  

       Okay [dj], I sorta see where you're going with this...
FlyingToaster, Feb 03 2011
  

       I just had an idea for *fart tuning* but did not know how to implement it, so I'll bun this for your well-thought out implementation!! [+]
xandram, Feb 03 2011
  

       Spidermother, we can build pyrolysis plants in cities. The biomass to produce the charcoal would be organic waste from households. As you know, pyrolysis is an exothermic process which yields useable energy during the production of charcoal. So we can produce charcoal and generate renewable electricity at the same time.
django, Feb 03 2011
  

       I know, I just can't imagine how, say, 200g of pharmaceutical grade charcoal tablets could be manufactured, packaged, distributed (via a pharmacy, for example), advertised, bought, and taken home without consuming far more energy than is equivalent to 200g of carbon released as CO2.   

       Even petrol, with all the economies of scale and bulk handling, releases an additional amount of CO2 in its production - consumption cycle that is not insignificant compared to that released by burning the petrol itself. The charcoal tablets would be vastly less efficient.
spidermother, Feb 03 2011
  

       Make it at home for nothing, like the bowl full of citric acid and crushed eggshell which is currently sitting in the scullery (which has just contributed about twelve litres of carbon dioxide to my carbon footprint).
nineteenthly, Feb 03 2011
  

       //like the bowl full of citric acid and crushed eggshell which is currently sitting in the scullery.//   

       Do you have many regular dinner guests?
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 03 2011
  

       // Do you have many regular dinner guests? //   

       No, we have no kitchen.
nineteenthly, Feb 03 2011
  

       I'm with you on that one, [19thly]. Nowadays, when even some non-Michelinned restaurants are quite acceptable, who needs to have people cooking in one's own home?
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 03 2011
  
      
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