Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Giant Carveable Seasonal Vegetables

"More pea, vicar ?"
  [vote for,

That happy, nay ecstatic, day of the year is fast approaching which many look forward to with ill concealed anticipation and excitement, the highlight of the calendar, the 25th of December - the one day a year when, depsite grave misgivings and a terrible sense of forboding, some people are, if they have been good, allowed to used sharp, edged tools to carve the turkey.

Of course, not everyone wakes at 0400 to take the carving knife and set about it with diamond sharpener, leather strop, and a selecion of Arkansas and Japanese Water Stones, then spend the next eleven hours in a state of rapture, listening to the silken hiss of the blade, and occasionally emitting a muffled cackle.

That aside, the pleasure of slicing through animal tissue with a professionally-honed edge is done all too soon, no mater how translucent the slices of turkey are cut, and the beloved implement has to be cleaned, dired, lightly oiled, handed back and then locked away in a safe for another 364 days.

But now, BorgCo Horticultural Developments (In no way afilliated to or part of MaxCo Tool, DIe, Soylent SuperVeg & Retirement Homes Inc., their heirs, sucessors and pending class action lawsuits and/or criminal preceedings) have taken the established technique of growing oversize examples of garden vegetables fo showing and adapted it for culinary use.

Thus, accompaying the 10-kilo or more Turkey to the table, comes similar-sized examples of potato, sprout, carrot, cauliflower and petit pois*. Rather than being served in chunks from bowls (borr - ingg) the genial host may offer his guests "Another slice of potato, anyone ?" and proceed to slice of a sliver or a slab, according to the appetite of the diner.

Each vegetable comes on a pallet along with specific cooking instructions, and in some cases appropriate equipment, to ensure that the dish is cooked through, piping hot, and at the exact degree of pre-liquifaction sogginess traditional for a Christmas repast.

* Use of the term "petit pois" for an object slightly larger than a typical pumpkin is causing some head-scratching in the legal department, but that's probably because they all have things living in their wigs.

8th of 7, Dec 15 2011


       And the vegetarians rejoice.
RayfordSteele, Dec 15 2011


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