Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Replace "light" with "sausages" and this may work...

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Floss-All

Custom-molded flossing jig
 
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Here's how it works:
1. Go to dentist
2. Dentist takes digital scan of mouth
3. Dentist transmits mouth scan to factory
4. Factory produces two jigs. One for upper mouth, one for lower mouth. These are made of plastic and look sort of like McDonald's arches with some guide grooves. There are little clips at either end.
5. Factory ships jigs to your house and charges your credit card for $19.99
6. You take jig and "thread" dental floss in a sort of zig-zag pattern through the grooves. This forms a series of small lengths of floss perpendicular to the arch, each one in the exact position of where the gaps between your teeth are.
7. Use jig to floss *all* your teeth at the same time.
8. Use the time you saved flossing to drink a few beers
DeathNinja, Sep 02 2003

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       if I read this right, you can only floss up and down and not in and out?   

       you'd need 4 jigs to do both sides of your teeth top and bottom.   

       interesting idea. can we have them motorised? +1
po, Sep 02 2003
  

       I suppose it could be made "wider" so as to allow in/out flossing as well...
DeathNinja, Sep 02 2003
  

       [DN], what are “jigs”? Seems I don’t use the same definition as either you or [po].
Shz, Sep 02 2003
  

       "A device for guiding a tool or for holding machine work in place"
half, Sep 02 2003
  

       I want a device so that I can floss once and it lasts for 6 months.
phundug, Sep 02 2003
  

       Dentist: "I can't find that filling on the side of your tooth. You must have flossed it."
FarmerJohn, Sep 02 2003
  

       Put your left floss in,
Your left floss out,
Your left floss in,
And shake it all about.
You do the hokey pokey
And turn yourself around.
po, Sep 02 2003
  

       I like this DeathNinja. The jigs could be made of a soft shore plastic that would flex just enough to work all the areas near the gums.
wombat, Sep 02 2003
  

       [po]: What's with you and your hokey-pokey fetish lately?   

       And I though I was bad with sheep! :)
Cedar Park, Sep 02 2003
  

       A built in vibrator (the small kind from the cell phone not the big kind from the adult store) could take care of the flossing motion. While flossing you can drink your beer for that extra fizzy feeling.
kbecker, Sep 02 2003
  

       Wouldn't this device need a form of (ultrasonic or other) reciprocatory actuation of some sort?
X2Entendre, Sep 02 2003
  

       Well, I was thinking it would be manual-style. But if you want to shell out for the deluxe ultrasonic model, no problem.
DeathNinja, Sep 03 2003
  

       [DN] Manual? That's so Un-American. If you want to skimp on the vibrator the minimum would be an adapter for a power drill, could give you that dentist feeling though.
kbecker, Sep 03 2003
  

       no offense, but that is seriously the worst idea I have ever seen. ever.   

       sincerely yours, po
po, Sep 03 2003
  

       Oh man. I can dish it out, but I can't take it.

I'd better enroll in Failure School...
DeathNinja, Sep 03 2003
  

       I wonder why I voted it for it <grin>
po, Sep 03 2003
  

       Naah, I just pointed out that ‘Failure School’ is baked. Here, have a croissant. Just be sure to floss after eating it. - Oh yeah - and don’t floss with a fishing lure...er...I mean ‘jig’.
Shz, Sep 03 2003
  
      
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