Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Follow Now Me

It walks; it talks; it glows in the dark.
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Giggling Panda Industries of the Kingdom of Udamanistan is proud to introduce you to an unparalleled apparel soon to strike the globe with astonishment. To the unaided layman’s eye is this only a broad belt with a bulky buckle sporting a kitschy glass décor. However, the radiant, convex bauble is a precise projection lens, the buckle houses GPS capability and the computing power of a failed Mars probe, while the wide, thick strap hides an antenna, a pedometer and a battery pack.

Never again be gone astray in a major city of the known world. By always knowing where you exist and where city streets and amenities lie, the clever belt can guide you correctly to any destination. It does so with synthetic English recognition and by illuminating your shortcut path with sidewalk shoe outlines not unlike an illustrated foxtrot lesson.

Presume you are lingerie shopping with your wife’s mother. Simply state loudly and clearly, “I Need To Wet My Whistles.” The belt will rejoin, “Follow Now Me”, smolder at the doorway and light your route to the nearest tavern. Or maybe you are at a busy crossing and exclaim, “I Must Spout The Golden Parabola” or “I Need To Cleanse My Trumpet”. After hearing a reassuring “Follow Now Me”, you simply place your steps in the lit outlines leading towards the nearest alleyway or lavatory, respectively.

FarmerJohn, Oct 23 2004

Vcommand http://www.pocketgpsworld.com/vcom.php
Like all GPS, this may have problems among tall buildings. [Amos Kito, Oct 23 2004, last modified Feb 03 2008]


       Wildly popular in Texas.
RayfordSteele, Oct 23 2004

       //Follow Now Me//   

       Somewhat baked.
The Vcommand GPS [link] has no display. Speak to it, and it replies in a pre-recorded voice. It tells you where you are by street name, gives directions and plays blackjack (no fooling). Unfortunately, after purchase, you can't afford to go anywhere.
Amos Kito, Oct 23 2004

       I'm gonna tear apart that auido demo and make a cd that I'll sneak into someone's car stereo. This should be good.
swamilad, Oct 23 2004

       Skillfully there is a comprehensive English is produced at the Panda industry which is laughed secretly with local Udamans recognition software or it comes having the Japanese translator whose in order to work is bad from eighties? Your step everything is illuminated in us!
zen_tom, Oct 23 2004

waugsqueke, Oct 23 2004

       As I read this I can't get the image of the Micheal Jackson video from the eighties with the glowing footprints out of my head.   

       Good for an emergency egress system, too.
bristolz, Oct 23 2004

       Does it come with a easy chair on wheels and a motor?
nomadic_wonderer, Oct 24 2004

       All things come to those who wonder.
FarmerJohn, Oct 24 2004

benfrost, Oct 25 2004

       your own personal shepherd!   

       ....warning: may inspire worship.   

       ... not from Udamanistan, but from Udasonofmanistan?
sophocles, Oct 25 2004

       I'm fairly confident that Batman's utility belt had one of these. That or he will be rather jealous.
hidden truths, May 18 2005

       It is currently impossible to create a projector sufficiently small, let alone one that will project during daylight, and how were you planning to power the- oh who cares, here's my bun.
wagster, May 18 2005

       Small very bright projectors are getting close. I read about a small battery powered DLP projector a few weeks ago. LED light source and fits in your (large) pocket for about $700.
bristolz, May 18 2005

DesertFox, May 19 2005

       [bris] - I have always imagined that the whole mobile phone/3G/always on sort of mobile connectivity will eventually end up with something the size of a phone that can project a 15" XGA image onto a nearby surface and will respond to a bluetooth mouse or voice recognition for text input.
wagster, May 19 2005


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