Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Not that there's anything wrong with that...
  [vote for,

Most everyone knows what "gaydar" is. For those that don't, it's the quality one posesses that allows them to detect traces of homosexuality amongst their peers. Body language, inflection of voice, and wearing a tuck are just a few possible indicators that one might use to come to their conclusion. Many people rely solely on instinct, though.

For the rest of us, who have no instinct in this regard, and are as observant as a deaf bat, I propose a new quality. This quality is to be known as "gaynar" and it is defined as the ability to detect gayness though purely auditory means. For instance, one might use gaynar to determine their choice of nightclubs by simply walking past them. Should one want to be surrounded by many shirtless and sweaty men, a club playing disco-house would set off one's gaynar, and the door price would promptly be paid. If this was not the intention of the clubgoer, then it is likely the gaynar would be ever more valued.

Standard triggers for the gaynar would be wailing divas, bsaslines that get your foot tapping, and generally anything which entices you to take off your shirt and have more fun than everyone else.

(It should be noted that this is idea is only for passive gaynar. Active gaynar requires an amplifier and an auditory source of gayness at the very least. Efficiency of this system is increased with the addition of a mirrorball and/or dancefloor.)

rapid transit, May 15 2003

Gay Bar http://www.rathergood.com/gaybar/
[my face your, Oct 05 2004]

lola http://kinks.it.rit...ular/lola/song-lola
lola by the Kinks [sufc, Oct 05 2004]

The Homo Handshake http://www.landover...news0101/shake.html
From the LandoverBaptist.com "Exposing the Homosexual Agenda" series. [bristolz, Oct 05 2004]

Gaydar Direct -- device now for sale http://members.trip...o_santoro/index.htm
07 Sep 03 | "Gaydar Direct brings you the first electronic device that allows gay men and women to meet safe and discreetly!" [bristolz, Oct 05 2004]

"That's the gayest thing I've ever heard!" http://itre.cis.upe...rchives/001799.html
Tangentially related. Michael Schuler wrote his BA thesis at Harvard about research on whether listeners can predict sexual orientation of a male speaker by the way they sound. (Somewhat, but it varies with the material.) [jutta, Jan 17 2005]

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       Or how about a stupid unthinking stereotype detector? That ought to be easy enough to... Oh, sorry. It's just been done.
dustmonkey, May 15 2003

       Suggestions are welcome! I only covered the male side because I couldn't think of any examples for the female. Even on the male side, all I could think of was disco and/or/in-conjunction-with house. (I spared mentioning the Village People, lest I set off someone's clichedar.)   

       [dustmonkey] No... not all gay people would fall into the stereotype I mentioned above. But, a lot of them would. In this context, that's really all that matters. Otherwise, I'd have to call this the "Gay-people-who-listen-to -music-commonly-associated- with-gay-culture-nar."
rapid transit, May 15 2003

       Gaynar - making gay-bashing simple and easy!   

       Sorry, this wouldn't work. I like pumping basslines, and Neutral Milk Hotel makes me want to take off my shirt, but I'm not gay.
oatcake, May 16 2003

El Pedanto, May 16 2003

       All the gay people I know certainly don't hide it, which is as it should be, making this redundant, not to mention pointless and potentially offensive.
saker, May 16 2003

       And God knows how it would behave in France. Just might blow a fuse or something...
RayfordSteele, May 16 2003

       croissant for: //observant as a deaf bat//
ato_de, May 16 2003

       [saker] The fact that the gay people you know don't hide it is pointless and redundant. The point of the concept is that it would be a means of determining sexuality for those who normally don't catch onto obvious clues. Often I'll miss out on when I'm being hit on from another man. But it's rare when I hear music commonlyassociatedwithgayculture where I don't find a parallel. Of course, this concept is already present in society. I'm just the first one (that I know of) to give it a punderful name.   

       In regards to it being potentially offensive: by whom? All my gay friends (especially the geekier ones who love the sonar comparison) adore the idea. A minority of my straight friends are the only ones who have expressed any misgivings. Odd, isn't it?   

       [oatcake] You're sure about that now, right? ;)
rapid transit, May 16 2003

       //it would be a means of determining sexuality for those who normally don't catch onto obvious clues//   

       Wailing divas, basslines, and shirtlessness imply homosexuality as much as football, heavy metal, and steaks imply heterosexuality.
oatcake, May 17 2003

       <mental note> Halfbaker-Hypersensitivity extends to homosexuality. </mental note>
ato_de, May 17 2003

       It also extends to making pointless and stupid notes to yourself publicly about halfbaker hypersensitivity. You don't want people to like you. We get it.   

       Big fishbone for puerile stereotyping.
waugsqueke, May 17 2003

       <mental note> waugsqueke hypersensitivity extends to making pointless and stupid notes to yourself publicly about halfbaker hypersensitivity </mental note>   

       First, there is a point. The point is that the over-reaction far exceeds the action in vehemence and bile.   

       Second, it is not to myself. The public nature of the comment would indicate it was meant not for myself, but to be viewed by all. Commentary, if you will. (or if you wont)   

       Third, I don’t care whether people like me or not. I think this is quite different from wanting people to dislike me.   

       Fourth, you don’t get it. It is obvious by your reaction to the post and the annotation that you just don’t get it.
ato_de, May 17 2003

       Your first statement doesn't make sense, so I can't respond to it.   

       I do get the idea. It's pointless and offensive stereotyping. I don't think that's particularly inventive, and certainly should not be rewarded here.   

       I certainly understand the difference between not caring if you are liked, and outwardly encouraging dislike. I am a prime example of the former myself. You actively encourage it, however, whether you know it or not.   

       The nature of your public commentary certainly does indicate your desire to be considered an outsider and to be disliked. It can serve no other purpose.   

       There is no question about it, particularly in light of annotations you've made in other ideas. It's a point of pride with you, in fact.
waugsqueke, May 17 2003

       I condemn you all for stereotyping my idea.   

       Just because you feel my idea might have qualitiescommonlyassociatedwithfish, DOES NOT MEAN IT IS A FISH.
rapid transit, May 17 2003

       But the author states:
//Not that there's anything wrong with that...// from the get-go.
It's a device for someone not to accidently bar-hop into a gay bar.
It doesn't state that there's anything wrong with homosexuality. Everything that is stereotypical about gay bars can be typified by a foray into Santa Monica Blvd. in West Hollywood, CA. From Thump Thump to wailing diva to shirt-off - the whole nine, er, yards.
I drive through WeHo 5 nights a week & see it every time, so I ask my elf - why the stereotype? Because that's the way it *is* - not because somebody dreamed it up. The idea, as I see it, has no association with previous ideas with people who had *issues* with gay people. It just says - if gay bars aren't your scene, wear this device.
thumbwax, May 17 2003

       I feel the hipersensitivity of those who fishboned this is understandable. I am not gay, I have really really good gay friends (male and female), but I also understand that, right now, being "pro-gay" is a temporary fashion to look open minded. I can't generalize or declare that this is everyone's reason to defend homosexuality, but the fact that everyone defends it makes it look like gay people need to be defended... it makes it look weird while it's prefectly common and we all know it. It's like feminism: a paradox.   

       I understand the main purpose of this idea and I don't think it's in any way offensive. Describing something by its common characteristics (not stereotyping but making a summary) shouldn't be insulting.. .if you're really proud of being gay or you don't mind having gay people around, there's nothing to get pissed off about.
Pericles, May 17 2003

       I thought this idea was slightly humorous. I am obviously in the minority. I thought that the reaction to this idea was frighteningly over the top and out of proportion to the idea itself. I hope I am not in the minority. I don’t know what is worse, fervor to stomp out all that might be offensive, or idiots who just go around telling (insert your favorite oppressed group here) jokes. Neither group is very smart and neither group does itself any favors. At least the latter don’t follow me into my house and try to make me “see the light.”
ato_de, May 17 2003

       //Again, this idea would have been very unkind to an ex-baker, and most likely others, too intimidated to speak up.//   

       Why would they be intimidated? I'm merely expanding on a concept that is already prevalent in gay culture, and reflected in breeder culture. I'd laugh if you said that gaydar was seen as a method of opression.   

       //What's the worse that can happen if you walk into a "gay" bar? You might then have to walk out? OUCH!//   

       Have you ever considered that to some people, gaybars might just not be their thing? Not because they are full of homosexual men, but because they're flamingly gay. This is the same idea that applies when I steer clear of country bars. I do this not because they are full of people who live in a rural setting, but because they're ragingly honky-tonk.   

       Somehow I get the feeling you would not be coming to the defense of rednecks everywhere should I suggest a HankSnow-dar.   

       //To give validity in any way to misconceptions and/or sweeping generalizations of those unlike ourselves, is not kind. I could give a rat's ass about pc, I am talking about kindness in word and thought to departed friends, and family, and even god forbid, to strangers.//   

       I understand that you feel there is more to your objections that just petty political correctness. Obviously homophobia has affected you, or someone you know, deeply in the past. I respect your concern and its aim, but I do not agree with its execution.   

       By condemning anything that involves homosexuality in even the slightest and most innocent "negative" light is doing more harm than good. It is putting homosexuality on a different plane than everything else, further reinforcing the feared notion of "they ain't like us."   

       On the other hand, my silly little notion is probably a good indicator of acceptance of homosexuality. I realize they are there, they're queer, and I've dealt with it. Gay people are actually so hardwired in my life as friends that I don't think twice about it. It's just a matter of fact. Nothing special. Hence, silly little jokes like this are common amongst my friends and I, and are only idicative of how far acceptance of homosexuality has progressed.   

       // (Thumb, the nightclub use was only "an instance" in which this would be used...what pretel would be the others one might wonder?)//   

       The presumptuousness is not warranted.   

       As for other examples? *shrug*. Make up your own. Like I said, this was only an auditory extension of gaydar.   

       //*And* the category is wrong. It should be something else. Gay does not imply "sex". It has to do with gender preference in relationships, of which some have no sexual foundation whatsoever.//   

       *another shrug* There wasn't a "Sexuality" category, and I couldn't find anything else in Culture where it might fit. I figured I'd just stick it in here for lack of a better place.   

       (Oh, and you might not know this, but "gay" definately does mean "sex." Usually lots of it too...)
rapid transit, May 18 2003

       I repeat... "puerile stereotyping". Several examples, this time.   

       Hank Snow was a friend of my father's, btw.
waugsqueke, May 18 2003

       You're a clever writer [rapid]. Funny, too. But, there's nothing wrong with that.   

       "HankSnow-dar" heh.
bristolz, May 18 2003

       [UB] I don't see where this was pitched exclusively as a way to avoid gay bars.
bristolz, May 18 2003

       Just to hammer home a pet topic of mine.... I don't agree with the Christian Church's beliefs. This makes me an atheist not a "Theophobe" (fear of God/s) I neither fear nor hate Christians, I simply have a different views form them. If I did not agree with gay peoples beliefs then surely this would not make me homophobic. I would neither fear or hate them either but simply have a different viewpoint. It's easy to bandy about terms that have good shock value like "homophobic" but in a lot of cases it's a label that is used incorrectly to put down someone who has a less than "pc" point of view...
chimpoid, May 18 2003

       my point is that name-calling is childish....calling someone a name whilst not fully understanding the meaning of the name is embarrasing for those who do.
chimpoid, May 18 2003

       I didn't say you had! But if you insist I did note that you implied that a previous post may have been homophobic by asking them if they were a member of a fictious (I hope) homphobic group.
chimpoid, May 18 2003

       Me? I've heard lots of jokes about blondes (usually girls) None made me laugh that I can remember though. Stereotype jokes seldom are funny.
chimpoid, May 18 2003

       [Bliss], give it up. If you think this is a stupid idea why are you giving it so much importance? You're smarter than this. Don't make me people change the possitive image of you.   

       [rapid]: You have to understand that people won't always agree with you, and that's ok. nNobody's right, nobody's wrong, just different perspectives, and people should see this so we could all bake happily, and speak freely.
Pericles, May 18 2003

       People will disagree with me, and I shall let them. But I will also defend my views. I don't go down without a fight. :)   

       BTW, "Not that there's anything wrong with that..." is from an episode of Seinfeld, where Jerry and George have been interepreted to be gay lovers. It's a funny episode, and somewhat appropriate for this discussion as it has now evolved.   

       In the episode, Jerry and George attempt desperately to assert their hetero-ness, because... well... they're not gay. This puts them into a bit of a spot as they fear their denials will incriminate them of homo-phobia, such is the touchy nature of the subject. Hence, the constant reassurance of "not that there's nothing wrong with that," whenever the issue is discussed.   

       It's telling since neither George or Jerry are homophobic in the least. But they must constantly state that they aren't, lest their intentions be misinterpreted as gay-bashing. It's truly a ridiculous situation, and full of hyperbole, but it has its groundings in reality. This thread for instance.   

       I'll let all of you figure out the parallels. :) Continue on.
rapid transit, May 19 2003

       Oh, and bliss, suggest an appropriate category, and I'll put it there. Like I said, I didn't know where else to put this. It's likely I just missed something obvious in its placement.
rapid transit, May 19 2003

       Category seems fine to me.
bristolz, May 19 2003

       This gets a croissant from me, for two reasons.   

       1. That episode of Seinfeld is my favourite.   

       2. My uncle once strayed into a local gay bar called 'Blues', and had a lovely evening dancing with an attractive woman. The following day, doing his weekly shop in ASDA, he went to pick up some stuff from the deli. You can guess who served him - the attractive 'woman' from the previous evening, now sporting a name tag that read 'Peter'.   

       Anyway, I hate PC, as do the vast majority of the people I know - gay, straight, black, white and multi-hued with an orange flag sticking out of their ass. And that's my two cents.
sambwiches, May 19 2003

       So, did you uncle end up going out with the guy? Finish the story!
DrCurry, May 19 2003

       Ha! Nah, he ended up taking the conventional route and shacked up with a real woman called Sarah. At least we think she's a woman...
sambwiches, May 19 2003

       Whew. Let's all take a deep breath, gang. I think this one was wide open to misinterpretation. I especially agreed with   

       //[rapid transit], this would probably sell a lot better if you pitched it as a way to find gay bars, rather than avoid them.//   

       But then I read the idea again and and decided that wasn't really the author's intention.   

       I'll step up and admit to a degree of hypersensitivity because I have a lot of gay friends and I won't tolerate prejudice against them, and they get a lot of it, and it's not fair. But I kid around with my gay friends and I probably use language that, taken out of context, could be misconstrued.   

       I'll cut the author some slack. You just have to be careful about who you're talking to and what you say.   

       It's probably not good to be *hyper*sensitive; it's just such a touchy issue.
snarfyguy, May 20 2003

       Thanks my face your, I haven't been able to get that damn tune out of my head all day. Every time I think its gone for good, it keeps gay bar, gay bar, gay baring its way back, and what's worse is that my daughter happened to see the little guitar playing winged doggy and keeps asking repeatedly to see the doggy again daddy, see the doggy again.
I tell you, between that link and "Whee shocks", I think I'm losing my frick'n mind. :?

       someone needs to step out of the closet and appreciate the dynamic rhythms of house. meow.
bubblegrrl79, May 20 2003

       Given that existing bar locators (Vindigo, for example) already have categories for Gay Bars, I'm going to ask if we can put this rather obnoxious idea out of its misery with a [marked–for–deletion] baked.   

       I've been in singles bars and I've been in gay bars, heck, I've even been in biker bars: it's really no big deal. (Never been in an S&M bar, though I'm told those are no big deal either, apart from all the people on leashes.)
DrCurry, May 20 2003

       They make M&M bars? Is the whole thing candy coated, so as not to melt in your hand? If not, why not?
Worldgineer, May 20 2003

       Have you hugged a spider today? Have you welcomed geese openly?
thumbwax, May 20 2003

       I hate everybody! Hooray!
snarfyguy, May 20 2003

       I threw that one in there for effect. Not sure what that effect was to be exactly, but it certainly had something.   

       I'm now torn between two opposing viewpoints. Should I delete the inaccurate reference, as per this site's online culture? Or should it remain, as I feel the words that one makes should be properly chosen, and if he makes the wrong ones, he should have to live with it.   

       Or will an admin come along and make the decision for me? :)   

       Or does this all even matter, as the end of the world has been postponed till next week (we narrowly missed certain doom this week!@). I've got my tinfoil beanie and white cloth cloak on, do you?
rapid transit, May 20 2003

       As someone who didn't know George Michael was, as Waylon Smithers might say, "... partial to Jolly Ranchers", until he got arrested, I would find this device useful.   

       I sincerely hope that this post does not offend any animated characters, 80's pop icons, individuals who do not eat croissants, or those who can't read English. Anyone who does not fall into the above categories, on the other hand, can kindly GFAD.
latka, May 21 2003

       Offensive? Homophobic? Tosh and nonsense. The idea's nothing of the sort, as far as I'm concerned. As a gay man who would rather take a power drill to my own frontal lobes rather than suffer the exruciatingly inane, preening, vacuous and self-absorbed, self-stereotyping, self-ghettoising world of disco-bunnies, scene queens, muscle marys and clone drones of whatever (stereo)type, I can entirely understand those breeders (*ahem* straights, I mean) who feel uncomfortable in such situations, especially given the added cattle market atmosphere provided by all those hoary old trollops drooling over anyone under 30.   

       So if some heteroboy likes the sort of music these places play (Why?! Why, for the love of Dog?! Is it some sort of auditory masochism?! I don't understand it! I mean surely they play that mindnumbing pap for the express purpose of keeping out anyone who _isn't_ serioously committed to the priapic pleasures, no?) but wishes to avoid running a gauntlet of lecherous fashionazi tarts, well, they may be a tad homophobic or they may well just have a modicum of class, however lacking they are in terms of musical taste.   

       Anyway, enough with the PC mollycoddling. Anyone sensitive, anyone with thin enough skin, to be offended by this idea is using too much damn moisturiser, I say. Goddamn it. Even the breeders are poofs, these days.
Guy Fox, May 21 2003

       As the token Breeders fan...they've really gone downhill since their first 2 albums.
goober, May 21 2003

       I think that everyone has a right to express their views, whatever they may be. And everyone has a right to hate whomever they want (if hating's their thing). And everyone has a right to not be hated by anyone.   

       [m-f-d]? A thousand times no, this stuff's better'n Shakespear. [Rapid], a croissant for the good spark on this pool of gasoline. It's good, pointless fun. Pointless, I say, because the homophobic aren't getting any less so, and ditto for the homophobaphobic. But those of us stuck in the middle are getting caught in the crossfire. We just might get sorted out. Just so nobody mistakes me for gaynar bait.   

       Whaddya say, does this skirt make my butt look too homophobic? (Not there'd be anything wrong with that...)
dijontoothpaste, May 21 2003

       I thought a gaybar was the unit of atmospheric pressure used to measure the extent to which heteros compelled their gay peers to suppress homosexual behavior.
luxlucet, Jan 17 2005


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