Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Gorilla Burger

Burger bar with "mock" exotic meats MADE OUT OF TOFU!
  (+3, -4)
(+3, -4)
  [vote for,

If you buy scallops, often they're not scallops at all but some other fish like cod, skate etc.

So since it's ok to sell "mock" meats as long as you don't keep it too much of a secret, putting it somewhere in the fine print, why not extend the concept to exotic meat burgers?

Zebra burgers, gorilla burgers, lion burgers, all made from the lowly cow that nobody gives a shit about but seasoned to taste "Just Like"(tm) your favorite exotic animals.

Eat like a big game hunter on safari guilt free knowing you've only been party to the killing a crappy, stupid cow.

As far as getting the taste right, I'm pretty sure it's the rare customer who would say "Hey, this doesn't taste anything like tiger."

doctorremulac3, May 15 2011

Purple Gorilla Burger http://www.purplegorilla.com.au/menu.htm
Top left, but I was a bit disappointed the burger wasn't actually purple... [Canuck, May 16 2011, last modified May 17 2011]

Good DAY sir! http://www.youtube....gko&feature=related
[doctorremulac3, May 16 2011]

I SAID GOOD DAY! http://www.youtube....watch?v=04OsmS9uYyg
(With rhinos) [doctorremulac3, May 16 2011]

You know the Godfather had to be involved... http://www.imdb.com...0099615/plotsummary
A Broderick classic. [RayfordSteele, May 16 2011]

Ok to eat... http://1.bp.blogspo...94/s400/fat-cow.jpg
[doctorremulac3, May 18 2011]

...not ok to eat. http://www.aolcdn.c...n-cat-468_x1600.jpg
[doctorremulac3, May 18 2011]

Ok... http://frozenflames...es-ugly-hog-1J7.jpg
[doctorremulac3, May 18 2011]

Not ok. http://very-bored.c.../cute-animals-1.JPG
[doctorremulac3, May 18 2011]

Yes http://www.first-dr...25/chickenheads.jpg
[doctorremulac3, May 18 2011]

No http://www.crainium.../MoreAnimals_29.jpg
[doctorremulac3, May 18 2011]


       Just like Girl Guide Cookies don't taste anything like Girl Guides. Yeah, yeah, yeah...
infidel, May 16 2011

       Whachyoutakinbout? Scallops at $12/lb are glued together fish?   

       They don't do horrible things like that, do they? I mean, discounting meat glue and beef tenderloins.
Zimmy, May 16 2011

       I thought dodgy scallops were made from stingrays and other skates where they use an apple-corer like punch to knock out the "scallops". They don't taste anything like the real thing.
Custardguts, May 16 2011

       Some "crab meat" is bleached and boiled beef tripe.
infidel, May 16 2011

       Not quite redundant, [21Q] - the linked idea suggests burgers that are genuinely made of white rhino, but this idea suggests fake burgers made of ordinary cow.
Wrongfellow, May 16 2011

       Jellydonut's idea is for "rhino flavored" mock meat. Mine is for "gorilla flavored" mock meat.   

       If you can't see the clear difference I will have no alternative but to say: "Now I bid you good day sir!" in a stern voice.   

       And if you persist I will say: "I said GOOD DAY SIR!" without even tipping my hat.   

       Although I hate to get brutishly ugly, sometimes one has no recourse.
doctorremulac3, May 16 2011

       Ok, you asked for it.   

doctorremulac3, May 16 2011

       Wow, did you really say that?! I'm almost sorry I was here to see it!
Canuck, May 16 2011

       Precisely the plot twist at the end of 'The Freshman.'
RayfordSteele, May 16 2011

       //Not so. From the linked idea...//   

       One of these days I really must get around to learning to read.
Wrongfellow, May 18 2011

       In defense of the present idea, this proposes a menu of mock meats. The cited prior art is for a mock meat scheme designed to save the rhino or something. One could say that idea is not orginal because people already sell mock meats as I stated in the first sentence.   

       The defense rests.
doctorremulac3, May 18 2011

       //The defense rests.//   

       Unfortunately, [21Q] never does.
Boomershine, May 18 2011

       //the lowly cow that nobody gives a shit about// grrrrrrr..... Plenty of people care about the welfare of cows.
xenzag, May 18 2011

       A happy cow is a tasty cow.
FlyingToaster, May 18 2011

       //A happy cow is a tasty cow.//   

       but not often at the same time.
MaxwellBuchanan, May 18 2011

       The people who care about cows need to get after those folks who mock meats.
bungston, May 18 2011

       //The defense is invited to read 'em and weep.//   

       The prosecution is invited to note that he's never actually successfully gotten anything deleted from this site despite trying on an almost daily basis.
doctorremulac3, May 18 2011

       Cheech & Chong quote:   

       "Bailiff, whack his peepee!"
normzone, May 18 2011

       //the lowly cow that nobody gives a shit about//   

       Just pointing out the irony.   

       For instance, we humans don't eat animals that we consider beautiful, cuddly, cute etc. But if you're ugly and tasty, best keep away from those hungry, hungry humans. (At least the western ones)   

       Just sayin'. (See links)
doctorremulac3, May 18 2011

       // he's never actually successfully gotten anything deleted from this site //   

       Well I'm not sure that's a fair charge. It's indefensible. He can't very well point to all the times when he was successful.   

       Your larger point is taken but I agree that both ideas are essentially about meat made to taste exotic. The rest of the details are dressing.
tatterdemalion, May 18 2011

       I second the m-f-d in this case. The help file clearly spells it out.
RayfordSteele, May 19 2011

       Ok, it's made out of tofu.
doctorremulac3, May 19 2011

       // The rest of the details are dressing //   

       Italian, french, Blue cheese ... ?
8th of 7, May 19 2011

       //we humans don't eat animals that we consider beautiful, cuddly, cute etc// Like rabbit, for example.
mouseposture, May 20 2011

       Well, the last time you had rabbit was...?   

       This is a generality of course. People eat scorpions, snakes, Jack in the Box hamburgers, even other people.   

       But for the most part, being cute keeps you off the menu. Let me put it this way, a fast food restaurant selling rabbit and featuring a cartoon characature like "Yummy Bunny" wouldn't do too well.
doctorremulac3, May 20 2011

       //the last time you had rabbit was// Over a decade ago. It was the best meal I've ever eaten.
mouseposture, May 20 2011

       Well, see? What's the last time you ate an ugly cow, pig or chicken?   

       Now I don't have anything against eating things that are tasty and cute. Just pointing out that we tend towards eating the animal world's chess club members and stay away from the prom queens.   

       It should also be pointed out that in processing a rabbit for cooking, the "cute" is among the first things removed. Somewhere between cutting it's head off and gutting it.   

       By the way, in doing my extensive research for this post, I've learned that squirrel is known in some circles as "Chicken of the trees".   

       I'd post the link but after seeing it myself I've decided never to eat anything ever again.
doctorremulac3, May 20 2011

       I've never eaten cow. I think I may have eaten pig, years ago. Chicken, yes.
mouseposture, May 20 2011

       // If you've ever eaten a hamburger, you've eaten cow. //   

       Now you tell me?
tatterdemalion, May 21 2011

       //If you've ever eaten a hamburger, you've eaten cow.//   

       Not the whole cow. I'm of the "steak-and-release" school of thought. Like catch-and-release fishing. Save some for later.
Boomershine, May 21 2011


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