Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Heated false forehead

Get out of work free
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(+5)
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A lot of workplaces are currently using non-contact infrared thermometers to check the body temperature of those wishing to enter, and turning away those who show signs of fever.

We spy an opportunity ...

Want some time off ? Then before approaching the measuring point, don and activate the BorgCo Heated False Forehead. In a range of shades and textures to match with all skin types and colours, and retained in place by a nearly invisible elastic loop (neatly concealed by your facemask) it is activated by the mini remote control, or via an App on your cellphone, and uses its internal rechargeable Li-ion battery to warm itself to a couple of degrees or so (amount selectable on the DeLuxe version) above normal human* body temperature, thus giving a false high temperature reading on the IR sensor.

"Begone, foul fiend, spawn of the blackest pit !" will no doubt be cried in fear and panic, and you get to go home for a few more days R&R. After all, you were willing to work, available to work ... not your fault you were unable to do so.

*Versions for non-humans (Lizard People, Reticulants, jocks, taffs and frogs are under consideration by the development team).

8th of 7, Aug 02 2020

DXM info https://www.erowid.org/chemicals/dxm/
[kdf, Aug 02 2020]

[link]






       [+] For a new-ish way to skive off.   

       There are easier ways to do it though. The cough suppressant Dextromethorphan can induce fever. Take some before going in to work. Claim you’ve got a cough, you’ve been taking something for it - because the best way to lie is to tell part of the truth - they take your temperature and - voila! fever - go home and stay there.   

       But dose calibration is important. Apart from messing with body temperature regulation, too much DXM can give you hallucinations.
kdf, Aug 02 2020
  

       So I get time off AND it's a good time!
Voice, Aug 02 2020
  

       Maybe. DXM is a popularly abused drug. Most OTC preparations include other ingredients to make you puke if you take too much. Hard but not impossible to find “plain” DXM without other stuff in the US, not sure about other countries.
kdf, Aug 02 2020
  

       //Dextromethorphan can induce fever.//   

       the ephedrine in Bronk-Aid will achieve a similar/synergistic effect.
bs0u0155, Aug 02 2020
  

       For similar abuse concerns, ephedrine is even harder to find over the counter in US now than DXM. I thought a lot of the asthma meds changed formulation a few years ago.
kdf, Aug 02 2020
  

       This is brilliant and thanks for the inspiration and laughs.
blissmiss, Aug 02 2020
  
      
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