Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Helium Bed

Maximum support by night, maximum room by day!
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An airbed filled with helium! Soft and luxurious helium-filled material supports your tired body 7 times better than air, and you rest like a god. By day, when space is at a premium, you simply untie its unobtrusive mountings. It floats gently to the ceiling, leaving you with the room to roam, tomfool or work that's just not available to those luddites lumbered with a heavier than air bed. A 21st Century essential!
Nadir, Mar 01 2001

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       but what about the heavy tog factor of modern day duvets thus denying you the high rise effect and thus no free room below! Oh my god and then there's the fact of matching bed UNDER colour to go with the interior decor!
stickyman, Mar 01 2001
  

       Plus you'd never be able to hold a party for fear of getting to *that* point of the evening and finding all your guests clustered in your room taking turns to make themselves sound like chipmunks whilst your bed for the night slowly deflates...
mark_t, Mar 01 2001
  

       It would take more helium than that to lift even a single bedsheet. Given the weight constraints, the "bed" would have to be nothing but a mylar or latex balloon filled with helium, and you'd have to remove all the bedclothes before it would float.   

       Balloons don't make good beds -- ask anyone who's slept on an air mattress.
egnor, Mar 01 2001
  

       Mylar? Sounds good. And it's wipe clean! There goes the need for bedclothes! Sticky in the summer mind. Hmm. I'd suggest hydrogen, but every dream would feature a voice screaming "Oh the humanity!".
Nadir, Mar 01 2001
  

       Helium. Croissant, Aye
thumbwax, Jan 21 2002
  

       By attaching a tube you can make your patner inhale helium while they slumber. Hey presto - snoring that's funny.
nagga_nooch, Jan 22 2002
  

       Curses. Sunday Times "Eureka" section shows that one William Calderwood of Arizona has patent 4,888,836 on this very idea. The swine.
Nadir, Apr 12 2002
  

       move on Nadir, post the Helium toilet.
po, Apr 12 2002
  
      
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