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High Noon on the Net

This Web ain't big enough for the both of us
  (+8, -2)
(+8, -2)
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Peace in the online community is short-lived and precarious at best.

People from all walks of life with widely varying opinions on everything have been thrown into a big electronic melting pot. What's more, they can't see or hear one another, so irony and other aspects of communication normally indicated by tone of voice, facial expressions and gestures are easily misunderstood. It's not surprising then, that flame wars often break out, pitching poster against poster, even here in our beloved HB.

A solution to this ugly problem is the High Noon Duelling website. Posters that find themselves caught in a meaningless faeces-slinging session can visit the website and obtain a Virtual Duelling Glove (VDG) which will take the form of a unique number. They can then slap this across the face of their opponent....

[A forum, somewhere. Two posters have become involved in a nasty dispute]

WookieSputum_109: I cannot believe you think Darth Maul would beat Darth Vader in a fight - what kind of bald-gum having dumbfuck are you anyway?

BenEplusJets: Bite me!

WookieSputum_109: Right! That's it! http://www.highnoonduelling.com/chooseweapons.htm?VDG=10004567

[BenEPlusJets clicks on the link. The site appears and offers him a choice of revolvers, throwing knives or sea urchins. Selecting sea urchins, he enters the duel, preparing to defend his pro-Maul argument to the bitter, poison-spiked end.]

The concept could be extended to include the option for flamers to add Seconds to support them in the duel. Hopefully, it would result in a dissipation of all that aggression in a way that's just as pointless as regular flaming but also fun. Everyone else gets the benefit of forums unencumbered by flame posts.
DocBrown, Dec 01 2004

High Noon http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0044706/
A bloody good film! [DrBob, Dec 01 2004]

Same but different. http://www.halfbake..._20Scissors_20Stone
[etherman, Dec 01 2004]

Arguments.com Arguments_2ecom
"Web site for those looking to start a dustup." [Acme, Dec 02 2004]


       Sea-Urchins as duelling weapons = Cool
Plus, Darth Maul would never win against Darth Vader.
zen_tom, Dec 01 2004

       This works fine where there's a one on one yes it is no it isn't argument but the system proposed falls apart with the more netypical collective point missing multiman massed mega melee, where each contributor offers a slightly different and probably irrelevant view, leading to spin off disagreements and tangents.   

       Is the duelling method just a standard Street Fighter style fighting game (with or without kung fu), or are there a number of duel possibilities? I was thinking of webcam enabled stare-out contests and speed puzzle solving.   

       I'm backing Vader in this argument because I hate Elton John.
calum, Dec 01 2004

       What calum said plus Gary Cooper would beat the tar out of both Darths with one arm tied behind his back whilst dragging a beautiful, quaker girl along the floor who was clinging to his leg and begging him to stop for the sake of his immortal soul.
DrBob, Dec 01 2004

       I thought initially 1-on-1, offering a choice between real-time or turn-based duelling (for those who might never be awake at the same time). Duel challenges would utilise a variety of weapons and come in a plethora of forms. Could even have a "code your own duel" option. As mentioned in the idea, Seconds will be incorporated, but for large melees Thirds, Fourths, Fifths etc could also join the fun.

Dr Bob I demand satisfaction sir! Darth Vader would have wrecked Gary Cooper.
DocBrown, Dec 01 2004

       You'll get no satisfaction from me, sir. I prefer to take the Flashman option.
DrBob, Dec 01 2004

       I have an idea. <linky>
etherman, Dec 01 2004

       "I can't get noooooo satisfaction! From Dr Booooob!"
I'm sorry.
DocBrown, Dec 01 2004

       Neal Stephenson's "Snow Crash" had this where the main character dueled someone else on the Metaverse with samari swords. The other character was be-headed & then was logged off of the Metaverse having to log back on. Before he was logged off text came up something to the effect of 'You have just been be-headed. Your opponent was Tolgnor 19-0.'   

       I think a feature that logged the loser of the duel off for a cooling down period of, say 5 min., would be excellent.
Zimmy, Dec 01 2004

       This wouldn't solve anything. Duels work to end disputes because after they are over there is only one person left to argue a side. I say keep this concept, but add stakes. Loser's account is destroyed, and IP address blocked from the site.
Worldgineer, Dec 01 2004

       Darth maul and Darth vader combined are no match for:   










       Dark Helmet!(Space balls = awesome movie).
EvilPickels, Dec 01 2004

       Great idea. I wish I was better at Flash so I could help you out.
JeremiahBritt, Dec 01 2004

       I beg to differ...Gary Cooper beats Darth by a long shot--he's way more handsome (and that's what counts in my shallow opinion)!
Machiavelli, Dec 01 2004

       He may be better looking, but I doubt he's as dab a (robotic) hand with a lightsabre.
zen_tom, Dec 01 2004

       Nice idea [World]. I guess there could be duels for a variety of stakes. Common garden debates such as the Iraq war could attract a week's ban from the site for the loser. Major doctrinal differences such as Gary Cooper Vs Vader could have account destruction and IP banning.
DocBrown, Dec 02 2004

       <off-topic anno soon to be deleted>
I'd have to say that the voice talent ALONE that went into Darth Vader could wallop Darth Maul. All hail James Earl Jones.
Letsbuildafort, Dec 02 2004

       To truly make this a legitimate discussion, we must consider those who have bested the individuals in question.   

       Darth Maul; defeated in combat: once. killed by: Qui-Gon Jin and Obi-Wan Kinobi.   

       Darth Vader; defeated in combat: never (he forfeited his fight with Luke) killed by: over-exertion combined with old age.   

       Advantage: Vader.
Alterother, Sep 16 2011


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