Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Hygienic Fridge-Front Milk-Guzzling System

For busy germaphobes
  [vote for,

Need a gulp of milk now (not 10 seconds from now)? Don’t want to pour a cup, but afraid of spreading germs? Are you just-plain-lazy?

The Sani-Guzz hygienic fridge-front milk-guzzling system is perfect for households full of busy individuals-on-the-go. With its unique cup-on-carton double-pour Toss-A-Cup™ dispenser mechanism you can drink “straight from the fridge” without spreading (or contracting) viruses, bacteria, protozoa, prions or any other germs! No saliva on the spout and no backwash.

How does it work? It’s simple! A stack of mini paper cups is loaded into the carton-mounted under-spout cup rack. Instead of putting your mouth directly on the carton’s spout, you put your lips to the upper-most cup. When tipped, cool, fresh* milk simultaneously pours from carton to cup and from cup down your gullet.

Gulp away to your heart’s content! When satiated, put the apparatus back in the fridge and remove the germ-ridden cup from the stack, leaving a new clean cup ready for the next stand-up lactarian.

*If it were any fresher you’d be under a cow.

AO, Feb 05 2004


       <sits under cow>   

       Now really, I don't think you should spend an hour in front of the open fridge each day, [AO], even if it does inspire you! +
k_sra, Feb 05 2004

       Two refrigerator ideas in a row could be just a fluke. Don’t get suspicious until you see a third.
AO, Feb 05 2004

       I used to lay in front of the refrigerator containing my keg homebrew and drink from the tapper while reading....ahhhh, the good old days.
normzone, Feb 05 2004

       Great, but now my family and I will not be exposed to the myriad germs we've been getting for years (I chug several times from every open milk container we ever use--don't tell my wife), so will we eventually lose some vital immunity this has been providing? I have the same concern regarding anti-bacterial soap.
oxen crossing, Feb 05 2004

       You drink antibacterial soap? Does your wife know you're sanitized?
k_sra, Feb 05 2004

       Yeah, but only as a beer chaser, not after milk...no, no, no, I have the concern about washing stuff--hands, dishes, floors-- with anti-b. soap. I guess I should know by now I'll rarely get a straight answer around here.
oxen crossing, Feb 05 2004

       Will the fridge moo as well? And you'd BETTER come up with the cookie-feeding attachment too!   

Letsbuildafort, Feb 05 2004

       Not so much a cup as a disposible milk tube. Sort of a giant straw that prevents backwashing.
GenYus, Feb 05 2004

       I have those same concerns, Mr. Ox, but moreso for future generations.
yabba do yabba dabba, Feb 05 2004

       Ahh, but you've removed a vital component for the 'from the carton' crowd. - Guilt. -   

       Oh the exquisite pain of the quick glance, open, gulp, close....never so sweet does the milk taste...
Itsmeagain, Feb 05 2004


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