Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Jellydoughnut Extractor

You like doughnuts of nearly all varieties but you just don’t care for jellydoughnuts.
  (+7, -6)
(+7, -6)
  [vote for,

Problem: Let’s presume that you have an annoying little jellydoughnut in your midst. Let’s say a co-worker has brought in a dozen doughnuts but all the other worker-bees get to the box first. All that remains is one lonely jellydoughnut. What could you do to rid yourself of the annoying jelly that comes from inside the doughnut?

Solution: The Jellydoughnut Extractor

How it works: Place the doughnut in the round metallic device. Clamp down the doughnut. Push the ten sliding needles into the doughnut until it the tip of the needle hits the vein of jelly. Push the “extract” button. Powerful pumps suck the sugary but useless jelly from within. What remains is no longer a jellydoughnut but just a clean and simple (and delicious) doughnut.

Gusbus, Oct 12 2005


       you could make a hole in each end and blast the offending jelly out by replacing it with something you like better because my worry (well, its pretty low down on my list of worries actually) is that you won't get it all out which would be a problem if you hate the stuff so much.
po, Oct 12 2005

       Burn. Wait, was this meant to be a burn? Sounds like a very subtle burn.
PollyNo9, Oct 12 2005

       But don't throw all the jelly away... think what you can do with it. For example, put jellydoughnut jelly in someone's cinnamon doughnut while they're not looking, then watch the reaction as they take a big bite and splatter it all over their face!
phundug, Oct 12 2005

       Thanks for the category suggestions. After some contemplation I chose Po's suggestion.
Gusbus, Oct 12 2005

       I think the best way of dealing with the doughnut you describe is to ignore it.
Texticle, Oct 12 2005

       there's just the autoboner's ...
po, Oct 12 2005

Adze, Oct 12 2005

       naughty person - adze
po, Oct 12 2005

       Hah! Send me one.
wagster, Oct 12 2005

       Personally I'm in the line of thinking that this is a load of bollocks. Fair enough, if it was a genuine idea, but this is just a barely disguised dig at another baker. If I could think of a fitting category, I'd be very tempted to MFD this.   

       If the references to [jellydoughnut] weren't here, you'd have probably garnered my bun. As it is, I just don't like this.
hidden truths, Oct 13 2005

       What [hidden truths] said. Personal attacks veiled or not aren't appreciated.
bristolz, Oct 13 2005

       Yes, [UB], but [jd] seems to be doing most of the rowing lately.   

       On to the invention.   

       I say you find the small opening in the doughnut where the jelly went in, aim it towards the cow-orker that took the last crueller, and slam your fist down on the top of the same said doughnut.
Cedar Park, Oct 13 2005

       "Who took the jam out 'a your doughnut Turkish?"   

       "YOU did, Tommy. YOU took the jam out of my doughnut."
Eugene, Oct 13 2005

       How do you ork a cow, anyway?
fridge duck, Oct 13 2005

       Well, I liked the idea.
jellydoughnut, Oct 13 2005

       Endorsed by Jellydoughnut his/herself. Take that bone-rs.
Gusbus, Oct 13 2005

       I only voted for it because it was put up before I deleted all my crap (quarter-baked) inventions.
jellydoughnut, Oct 13 2005

       I'd like to think that jellydoughnut's are like fine wine.   

       They get better as they mature (I hope)
DesertFox, Oct 13 2005

       Unless they're not properly corked, in which case they will start tasting like vineagar.
jellydoughnut, Oct 13 2005


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