Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Joke deodorant

Can't get rid of the smell? Then get rid of the cause!
  (+11, -9)
(+11, -9)
  [vote for,

You get out of the shower, dry off, and search for deodorant. You pick it up, this isn't your normal deodorant is it? Ah well what does it matter? You press the button, but instead of a breeze of sweet smelling chemicals, your armpit is engulfed in flames. One of your friends has obviously switched your usual deodorant with this joke one! A normal deodorant can needs only have two small pieces of flint infront of the nozzle, so that they scrape together as the chemicals are sprayed, igniting them. Other version are available, inculding a taser, which rather than deodorant, contains a battery pack - the sharpened nozzle is fired into the armpit electrocuting the user. Hilarious fun for everyone.
fridge duck, Feb 21 2005


       I once applied deodorant to my left armpit, going across to the right, while yawning. I sprayed myself full in the mouth and could not taste anything that day but a gentle seebreeze. And that's your idea of fun is it?
zeno, Feb 21 2005

       I'm sure, zeno, that if the deodorant were aflame, you might have noticed a little before it got to your face. It would certainly wake you up in the mornings...
fridge duck, Feb 21 2005

       Evil [+]
Pericles, Feb 21 2005

       Take care to bank your pit of coals for easy re-ignition the next morning.   

       On a trip to Florida with some friends of mine, we drilled a hole in the bottom of one buddy's bottle of Ban roll-on. Emptied the contents and replaced them with raw eggs. Sealed the bottle with a melted garbage-bag strap. He did not know for three days. We kept telling him he smelled, and he kept putting more on. His name was Rudy!
trekbody, Feb 21 2005

       [zeno] It would have been funnier if it was a 'Roll-On' Deodorant.
I do know of a French exhcange student who used a hair spray instead of a deodorant. We did laugh!.
gnomethang, Feb 21 2005

       Burnt flesh and hair reek to high heaven...now *that's* funny.
Machiavelli, Feb 22 2005

       Ditto on A5-35 rub as toothpaste.   

       Personal grooming in the dark can only end in disaster.
Giblet, Feb 25 2005

       Ha-ha kill-your-roommate. Bone.
Etymon, Feb 25 2005

       This wouldn't really hurt anyone. Unless you were stupid enough to hold the flame against your skin for a full three seconds, it will merely burn the hair. Skin contains plenty of water, making it flame resistant to a certain extent.   

       Flint is too unreliable for this. Use a piezoelectric sparker. Instead of a real taser, use the same concept as the sparker for a high voltage low amperage jolt.
Aq_Bi, Feb 26 2005

       This joke stinks...
RayfordSteele, Feb 26 2005

       Is that "Parfum de Burnt Armpit Hair" you're wearing? Nice.
wagster, Feb 27 2005

       ..But its okay, through the pain of a shattered wrist you realise the explosion has set half the appartment alight. Your roomate will surely burn to death in this. You hold your bleeding stump and laugh feebly.   

Cats Whiskers, Feb 27 2005

       Deodorant joke:   

       "Hello, I would like to buy some deodorant please."   

       "Ball, or aerosol?"   

       "Neither, I want it for my armpits."
wagster, Feb 27 2005

       It just sounds deliberately worded to cause grave injury; if it were designed merely to startle and not to maim the victim I would be for it, and might set it upon myself now and then to get myself out of the fog in the morning. "Electrocute" means "kill with electricity" (electro+execute). An aerosol-can blowtorch sounds pretty dangerous, especially when not paying attention first thing in the morning and directing it at one's armpit.
Etymon, Feb 27 2005

       [Aq_Bi] is right. A short blast of a burning deoderant can will definately remove hair but unless it hits the victim in the head this wouldn't matter much. On several occasions as a foolish teenager I placed a deoderant can in a small fire then went back to relight it just as it exploded. The only explosion that hurt me at all was when I put an axe through a brand new can as it burned. My arm was scorched a bit but I didn't need medical attention.   

       Also, while electrocute does mean to kill with electricity it is often misused instead of 'shock'. As tazers aren't intended to kill it seems likely that this is what [fridge duck] did.
stilgar, Sep 02 2006

       Jokedeodorant.com - Input your dirty jokes & we'll reword them so they're so clean you can tell them in church.
phundug, Sep 03 2006

       Bone. Personal hygene is something we should all take seriously. I've smelled far too many victims of bad shower/ soap/ toothpaste/ deodorant jokes in my day. A bad enough joke (like this one) can often lead to permanently avoiding any contact with the material. I'd also imagine that a lot of people who do their hair before using their deodorant would get their heads on fire.   

       I'm also against anything that involves pucturing the flesh of another human being for humorous purposes.
ye_river_xiv, Sep 03 2006


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