Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Alas, poor spelling!

idea: add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random

meta: news, help, about, links, report a problem

account: browse anonymously, or get an account and write.



Knee Bra

Cup those teats wild stallion!
  [vote for,

As we become increasingly obese, the need for overall fat-containment has become a talking point of heated contention all amongst the expanding community. To coincide with my previous discovery of the 'Big Man Second Belt and Christo Mu Mu', which holds well in place such larduous eruptions as Darwin's Cleft, the Rear Water Wings, First to Third Auxillary Waists and all additional Flesh Patios - there is another area that has come to my attention, that without proper support will continue to cause bother amongst the morbidly obese.

It is the knee teats that i speak of, and had they nipples my dear friend, perhaps wild hogs would mistakenly suckle!

Upon entering the fitting station, your knee cup size is measured by a well oiled assistant. Once calculated, you may stop eating (just for a minute madam)to select a desired fabric. Shaped much like a normal bikini top, yet in single cup size - to accomodate the gelatinous mid-leg region of each sausage like trunk that somehow keeps the vast tectonic regions of the belly from enveloping all things not tied down into the heaving crevices of eternal darkness (as many survivors have described.)

Tie or fasten the knee bra at the back and return some confidence to your already hopeless situation.

benfrost, Mar 29 2005

big man second belt and christo mu mu Big_20Man_20Second_...20Christo_20Mu_20Mu
[benfrost, Mar 29 2005]

Spoken Word Performance Video of the idea above: Knee Bra http://www.youtube....watch?v=k9gY4-qLL2Y
spoken word by ben frost @ pet cemetary at the oxford art factory, feb 7th 2008 [benfrost, Feb 12 2008]

Well oiled assistant http://rlv.zcache.c...2903142cir2_400.jpg
[normzone, Nov 10 2009]


       disturbing, but probably necessary.
schematics, Mar 29 2005

       If I give you a croissant, can you find a way to clear this image from my mind?
the_jxc, Mar 30 2005

k_sra, Mar 30 2005

       benfrost, what's your deal with fat people, man?   

       we're sexy, baby! most of us. some.
burnunit, Mar 30 2005


back: main index

business  computer  culture  fashion  food  halfbakery  home  other  product  public  science  sport  vehicle