Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Knitting Camp

"I sentence you to 20ft of striped scarf"
  (+15, -1)(+15, -1)
(+15, -1)
  [vote for,

Impose knitting as a punishment to be performed while in prison, to promote hard work, concentration, learning new skills, pride in acheivement, etc. Sentences imposed will vary in severity from a simple scarf to a mohair cable-knit golfing-motif jumper.

As an added benefit, people who want to look like convicts will no longer wear baggy trousers which hang round their arses showing their underwear, but will instead wear cosy cardigans or, if they want to give the impression that they got parole and an early release, half-finished cardigans.
hippo, Jan 26 2006

See those concrete blocks? See_20those_20concrete_20blocks_3f
Inspired by... [hippo, Jan 26 2006]

Misdemeanor pattern http://www.knitting...ho/drwhoscarves.htm
and pray you aren't sentenced to supply a sci-fi con [lurch, Jan 26 2006]

Beutiful art made with kintting http://www.yumlum.c...ar/knitwear_art.htm
From the high security wing? [jutta, Jan 28 2006]


       25 years of knitting potato sacks.
skinflaps, Jan 26 2006

       Knit-ware escape equipment?   

       'How's the tunnel coming along'   

       'Well, sir, I've got teams A and C knitting new shovels for us now, sir. Team E is on kitchen duty, so our supplies of wire-wool should be restocked by the end of the week.'
yamahito, Jan 26 2006

       you can do a lot of damage with a knitting needle.
po, Jan 26 2006

       Fluffy! +
squeak, Jan 26 2006

       Sentenced to wearing golf attire - now there's a harsh punishment.
coprocephalous, Jan 26 2006

       "Why don't we give him community service?"   

       "You can't give community service for manslaughter!"   

       "Well, why not give him 4000 hours of community service?"   

       -Judge John Deed
wagster, Jan 26 2006

       "Sit ye on down mate and I'll spin ye a yarn of me days at the camp."
Shz, Jan 26 2006

       Then you have the danger of a prisoner aquiring steel wool and knitting himself a machine gun.
Galbinus_Caeli, Jan 26 2006

       Ever heard of finger-knitting? More difficult (especially for the complicated patterny stuff), no more pointy sticks, useful side effect of self-entanglement (saves on handcuffs). If knitting fails to shame the crims, they could always re-introduce the town square stocks (complete with rotten fruits and vegies for throwing).
neutrinos_shadow, Jan 26 2006

       Oh finger knitting. Rough stuff. Probably wouldn't do very good as far as "Scared Straight" programs go.
PollyNo9, Jan 26 2006

       Er, [hippo], was that you that knitted scarves for Tom Baker?
lurch, Jan 26 2006

       Nah, he was too busy knitting a striped sweater in Bolivia.
bristolz, Jan 26 2006

       [PollyNo9], I was more responding to [po]'s comment about the danger of knitting needles. And besides, this is 'Knitting Camp', not 'Scared Straight'. More like 'Bored and Humiliated Straight', particularly if public display is included in the punishment.
neutrinos_shadow, Jan 26 2006

       Knit one, parole too.   

       "have prisoners do useful work. Redemption follows."   

       Um, OK.... But, really is there anything new here?   

       Love your other stuff, [hippo].
sophocles, Jan 27 2006

       isn't work some kind of activity that results in a product of value?   

       surprised you don't knit, UB.
po, Jan 27 2006

       its just that you turn your hand to most things. I'm not sure I believe that you wouldn't give it a go - mind you, I'm forgetting the gorilla shaped mitts :)
po, Jan 27 2006

       That's an incredible link [jutta]. I'll show it to my daughter - she's a keen knitter and has the right sense of the macabre.
hippo, Jan 28 2006

       (off topic) Someone I used to know has a Dr Who scarfe knitted in various shades of grey by her mother, who only had a black and white TV.
spidermother, Feb 03 2006

       "Making them by hand, oneself, is a very low priority task, in my view" Not in my view - I think that everyone should have a go at making their own clothes - save $$$, stop supporting companies that get their clothes made in 3rd world countries by people who get 1 cent per item or whatever, and brighten up peoples' days by wearing something out-of-the ordinary! Also a good conversation point (people are always asking where I get my clothes) and avoid all those embarassing situations where three girls at the same party are all wearing the same dress. Additionally starts getting you away from dependence on the $ for everything, and gives you something you can achieve and be proud of and are more likely to appreciate because of the hard work that goes into it. Why not grow your own food too?   

       In fact, as we are talking prisoners here, why not make them run their own commune where they get given the basics (seeds, etc) and taught how to do things (also encouraged to think of novel ways of doing things themselves), and have to grow and make most things themselves? Give them skills, responsibility, etc. in a highly monitored but supportive environment - and working in a garden for a while helps anyone I think. Of course this whole commune thing might have to be only for certain kinds of prisoners, I don't know, but I think it has merit. I don't like knitting as punishment, but knitting as part of rehabilitation gets my vote :-)
cetacean, Nov 09 2006

       Could make a reality TV show out of that one
cetacean, Nov 10 2006


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