It's probably fairly common for pockets containing
garage remotes and other such devices not to be
before said pocket enters a washing machine. In normal
circumstances, the device emerges sadder but not wiser.
This is unfortunate and avoidable. By contrast, textile-
items are often considered to be improved after
such a process.
Why not make it so that a wider variety of objects are
bettered by washing machine process? So for example a
car unlocking remote turns into a universal remote
after washing, a basic function mobile phone becomes a
smartphone, then on further washing a tablet computer,
continuing an upgrade path unpredictably into some
chrome futuristic vision of perfection.
How this could work:
- A car unlocking remote contains a lot of secret circuitry
which is initially locked by water-soluble and temperature
sensitive memory metal crystals of some kind - this is
waffly bit. On being dropped into a hot aqueous solution
of washing powder, the initial set of crystals is
activating the secret feature, in this case stored data
allowing the device to be used as a universal remote.
Meanwhile, the device counts the number of times it has
been washed. The next time it undergoes the
it becomes, I dunno, a mini-games console as well and
- Same counting and solubility issue with a basic mobile
phone. On washing, the keypad dissolves to reveal a
resistive touch screen but the features otherwise stay
primitive. On the second wash, the touch screen
capacitive and the device becomes a smart phone. On
third, the smartphone stretches and becomes a mini-
tablet, then a full-size tablet on the fourth wash and so
- Plain-looking ordinary metal devices covered in a thin
layer of gallium turn out to be made of precious metals
when washed, melting off the gallium. Apply this to
fasteners, for example.
- Smart clothing (in the IT sense) reveals new features
being washed, for instance a heart meter becomes a
polygraph and the T-shirt incorporating them turns out
have an animated video display of the wearer's internal
organs moving in sync with their actual bodily functions.
Later on, it becomes an ultrasound scanner.
None of these devices are marked as such, but rumours
are circulated that they exist, and they will also
occasionally be discovered by chance. This will result in
people washing perfectly ordinary devices experimentally
and completely ruining them, but occasionally they will