Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Masochist Furniture

Uncomfortable furnishing for your household
  [vote for,

I think this would be a smash in kitschy decor department. It would look excessively stylish and would be primarily standard except for subtle modifications that make it slightly annoying to use. Sort of the antithesis of the ergonomic boom.

The beauty would have to lie in its subtly. Things you wouldn't notice at first glance or upon immediate usage, but would ultimately drive you (or your guests) nonkers subcosciously.

Chairs that sit too high and lean a bit forward with corduroy upholstery that holds fast to your pants as you slowly slide forward. Mattresses that bulge slightly in the middle so as to lean you towards the edge of the bed. Toilets that rock, have too wide a hole in the lid, and the water level's always too high. Kitchen table with ill-fitted leafs that are too thick to match. Bathtubs that lean away from the drain. Refridgerators with black interiors and no shelves. Cabinets that protrude further from the wall than the countertops. Drinking glasses with irregular edges. Mirrors that hang a bit too low and tilt forward.

And so on.

the27man, Aug 19 2004

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       This is hilarious! Sorry that you live like this, [bwv], but I would get such a kick out of watching my guests as it slowly dawns on them that things aren't quite right in the castle. [27man], you have given me ideas...of course, my bedroom and bathroom would be completely comfortable, though. *giggle*
Machiavelli, Aug 19 2004

       great way to get rid of unwelcome visitors
elfling, Aug 20 2004

       "Honey, the Wilsons are coming. Would you bring up the masochist furniture from the basement?"
phundug, Aug 20 2004

       (elfling) Don't bet on it. I live in this rambling old house with mushrooms growing out of the walls, and stacked beer bottle crates and assorted junk doubling as furniture. On top of that, my four friendly dogs will jump on you as soon as you fall asleep (because when you're awake you chase them off). Neverteless, we've always one or two full time visitors camping here. From all over Spain and sometimes from as far as Japan or New Zealand. People will go to extremes for a free ride. Or ain't them unwelcome?. And what about making bookstands with pointy corners just at head's heigth?. So you go bumping on them in the night. Kinky - (+)
finflazo, Aug 20 2004

       Tall bar stools with no foot rests...dining room tables with the legs too close together to fit a chair between them...mua ha ha ha haaa...
JulieVictim, Aug 21 2004

       Ohhhh...you could even use this idea in architecture and contracting...a flight of stairs where the rise of each step becomes progressively shorter as you go up...
JulieVictim, Aug 21 2004

       Even better,change slightly step height at random, as in my house. That's the idea. Why limit masochism to furniture ? . And what about this car that never starts when it's raining, and when it does, there's always a drip from the imperfectly sealed windshield that hits you squarely in the eye?.
finflazo, Aug 21 2004

       There already exists furnature for restaurants that is designed to discourage patrons from lingering.
JakePatterson, Aug 21 2004


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