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Mediterranean Walking

Easier than you might imagine.
  [vote for,

Those who participate in Nordic Walking are easily identified because they are clutching two poles to aid their movement.

BorgCo physiologists have now developed, for the benefit of the lazy and unfit, Mediterranean Walking, which is very similar but requires almost no effort whatsoever.

Nordic Walking is normally carried out in durable clothing and footwear. Mediterranean Walking is practised in, well, whatever you happen to be wearing.

The technique is as follows:

Adopt a comfortable posture, be it standing, sitting or lying down.

Consume a large amount of inexpensive beer or wine. Food is optional.

Continue until consciousness starts to slip away.

Press the Speed Dial for BorgCo Mediterranean Walking Assistance Services.

Wait a short time.

When ready to start, reach up and take a firm grip on your two Poles*. Two Polish persons** will assist you to your feet, and place your arms around their shoulders. They then help you walk to their vehicle (your participation is optional) and gently lift you inside.

You are conveyed to your nominated destination and again assisted into the chair, bed, bath or iron lung of your choice.

Try it today !

* In emergencies, citizens of other Slavic countries may be employed.

** Following forceful representations*** from a Polish person of the female persuasion, we are completely and entirely convinced that, for the delivery of the service, both genders are equally capable.

*** Including the threat of the use of extreme and immediate force.

8th of 7, May 09 2016

Canadian Poles https://en.wikipedi...ki/Polish_Canadians
Yep, I used a WackyPeedya quote, but it's prob'ly pretty true in this case. [Sgt Teacup, May 09 2016]


       [8th], well done. This is the EU version of a phenomenon WKTE in North America, thanks to successive waves of Polish immigration.   

       Since 1830, Polish immigrants have "made numerous and significant contributions to the agricultural, manufacturing, engineering, teaching, publishing, religious, mining, cultural, professional, sports, military, research, business, governmental and political life in Canada" (see link)... largely by shoveling out* drunks from all walks of life and pouring them into or onto a public conveyance.   

       Due to recent cutbacks on immigration quotas, we have had to resort to the skinny walking-stick-type poles, which lack the warm and gentle joy of being heaved into place by burly Pole brothers.   

       *Shoveling may involve snow, wet snow, mud, or, less often, grain, when the elevator breaks.
Sgt Teacup, May 09 2016

       I would like to live in a world where this idea is entirely autobiographical; the idea of a Borg getting gently mullered somewhere on a Mediterranean beach before being given a lift home by a couple of friendly East-Europeans is a fond one. Neither has it been covered anywhere in Star Trek canon (as far as I'm aware).
zen_tom, May 10 2016

       We're sure we've erased all traces.   

       // lack the warm and gentle joy of being heaved into place by burly Pole brothers. //   

       You obviously haven't encountered burly Polish sisters, then. That's an experience in a class of its own.
8th of 7, May 10 2016

       bun. Bun! buuuuun.
Voice, May 10 2016


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