Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Trying to contain nuts.

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Mulching Shaver

No fuss no muss
  [vote for,

When you are shaving with this razor,
Powered with electricity,
You will be amazed at its low, low price
And unique functionality!

FIRST - it chops off the little hairs
That grow up on your face,
Or if you are a hairy one,
In that other place.

SECOND - it sucks the little bits,
Full of keratins,
Into a grinder that purees them up
And mixes with glycerins.

THIRD - it spits them right back out
Onto your fresh skin,
And with little massaging nubbins,
rubs it all back in!

FOURTH - that's it! no more! it's done!
The process is complete!
All your hairs transformed to cream,
And your face all neat!

FIFTH - You fend off all the ladies,
except if you are a dad!
Because you should respect your wife,
And flirting can be bad!

mylodon, Jul 15 2021


       awesome poem [+] sharp little pieces of hair along with whatever was on them all over my skin complete with bacterial growth medium [-]
Voice, Jul 15 2021

       Cutting edge stuff [+]
AusCan531, Jul 16 2021

       I'll admit, I stubbled a bit on THIRD.   

       I asked Mr Google about keratin and skin treatments, and the results suggested that it's more of a problem than a solution.   

       Would this invention be most useful to someone who didn't have "chicken skin", but wanted it?
pertinax, Jul 16 2021


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