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Newborn Baby Aquarium

Your newborn baby will thrive in its natural environment
  (+7, -2)
(+7, -2)
  [vote for,

A friend of mine just had a baby. Her baby is unhappy most of the time because it was ripped from the nice, safe, warm environment of her uterus.

The newborn baby aquarium simulates the environment of the mother's uterus. It is mostly dark, warm, and contains a feeding tube which supplies breast milk (the mother pumps for this purpose) on demand.

The bottom cushion in this environment is a soft, squishy material that makes the baby feel like it is floating in embryonic fluid. Finally, the wall of the aquarium is made of a substance that muffles sounds, similar to the way baby would have heard sounds in the womb.

When baby becomes fussy and the parents are at their wit's end, they place the baby in the aquarium for a couple of hours and rest.

flynn, Jan 03 2007

The Hug Box http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hug_machine
Along similar lines, only real and for calming autistic people. [wagster, Jan 03 2007]

Babies swimming underwater http://images.googl...swimming+underwater
[Dub, Jan 06 2007]


       It's been a while since I've been around a newborn, but I thought they actually slept most of the time. It's just that they are pretty noisy in the frequent intervals when they're awake.
At least, that's what I think I remember. I didn't seem to get much sleep then, though.
There is a thing called colic that might be the reason for an atypically unhappy baby.
//the wall of the aquarium is made of a substance that muffles sounds// ------- Often have been the times I've wished for a large sound proof box I could either put them or me into for 15 min's, though. ;)
Zimmy, Jan 03 2007

       how long would you use it - 16, 17 years?
po, Jan 03 2007

       good fun... and with refinement could become an even better idea +
xenzag, Jan 03 2007

       I donno nothin' 'bout babies but I kinda want one of these for myself.
Eugene, Jan 03 2007

       [phlish] //Leaving the womb and adjusting to the cold harsh world is part of the human condition.// While this may be true and the baby cannot stay forever in the aquarium, the parents can at least control the rate at which the baby is exposured to the real world. A slow exposure rate over time would be less tramatic for baby.
flynn, Jan 04 2007

       // less traumatic for baby. // Ahh, if only life was free of trauma ...
jenifemeral, Jan 04 2007

       //Being at your wit's end is part of parenting// I can't agree with that.   

       enjoy your babies and they'll enjoy being babies.
po, Jan 04 2007

       I bunned this one even though I like the idea of the soundproof room. One thing that my parents learned about me when I was an infant is that bundling me up with a bunch of clothes was not a good idea. I too would cry unconsolibly until they started taking some of the stuff off.   

       All in all, you cannot keep a child in the simulated womb forever, but you can use this as a transitional type of thing. Many women birth their children underwater and when the baby comes out, there is no need to shake out the mucus in his lungs and the baby happily swims under the water.
Jscotty, Jan 04 2007

       When I first read the title, I thought it would be about the fact that babies (up to a certain age) naturally hold their breaths underwater - and appear to be able to swim *way* before they can walk or crawl.... I thought that maternity wards could have little tanks on the side (much like the glassed-off areas you often see doting dads looking at their newborn children through) which would be filled will little babies swimming around (a bit like the Nirvana "Nevermind" album cover). Alas no. .. I'll bun this for seeding my brain with this image anyway.
Dub, Jan 06 2007

       as long as you only made it one size, it shouldn't be too hard to ween babies out of it... then again, people with too much money could just get larger ones built for themselves... i guess they already could though :P
emjay, Jan 06 2007

       //ween babies out of it... // No, you don't ween them..., just harpoon them.   

       No. Wait... Ow, I see
Dub, Jan 06 2007

       wouldn't this be a terrarium?
shinobi, Jan 07 2007

       The aqarium will be filled with air. I guess calling it an aqauriam is a bit misleading, since it is not filled with water or any other kind of liquid.
flynn, Jan 07 2007


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