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Nicotine Vitamins

Your children will NEED their vitamins!
  (+7, -6)
(+7, -6)
  [vote for,

Remembering to take your vitamins is tough, so why not induce dependency on vitamins?

Split a normal Cartoon Multivitamin into three smaller multivitamins, each with a small dose of nicotine. Cravings would be sated at each meal as a pill is consumed, satisfying the body's need for "essential fortifying minerals."

Administered to children, these vitamins provide youths valuable experience about the dangers of addiction, and they expose youths to the harsh realities of the real world, where their classmates are hauled away in cuffs for organizing illegal vitamin distribution chains.

Armed with these experiences they will live their entire lives free from the clutching grasp of vitamin manufacturers.

Condiment, Jan 08 2008

Can only lead to one thing... Cigarettes_20for_20kids
[theleopard, Jan 08 2008]

Niacin http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Niacin
"Niacin was first discovered from the oxidation of nicotine to form nicotinic acid." [baconbrain, Jan 08 2008]


       This is going to get slated...   

       Wait for it...
theleopard, Jan 08 2008

       Give children nicotine.   

       "tut tut" Education towards healthy eating would be preferable rather than ramming pills down their necks. [-]
skinflaps, Jan 08 2008

       Hmm, interesting. Initially it's a knee jerk bad idea, but it has its merits. As far as I know, low levels of nicotine are not harmful, but I think vitamin overdose would be a risk.   

       Now with added endorphins.
marklar, Jan 08 2008

       //Education towards healthy eating would be preferable rather than ramming pills down their necks.//   

       Since when do children make rational decisions based on education and self-control?   

       The rationale is good for their adult life, but as a child, rules and guidelines for healthy living are enforced through either respect, fear, or desire of approval. Praise from a parent raises seratonin levels in the brain, admonishment lowers these levels.   

       Nicotine vitamins are in effect an absentee parent, providing that boost of satisfaction while the parent is enjoying their day at the spa or country club.   

       You shouldn't have to be there to be responsible. (they can put this on the bottle)
Condiment, Jan 08 2008

       ... wait for it...
theleopard, Jan 08 2008

       What is slated?
Condiment, Jan 08 2008

       for one, roofs are slated here in old New England...
xandram, Jan 08 2008

       Let me rephrase: In the context of the HalfBakery, pertaining specifically to the lexicon which theleopard referenced when annotating, what is the meaning of "slated?" :]
Condiment, Jan 08 2008

       Thanks for the definition.   

       re: fortifying caffienated beerages, I know people who drink upwards of 10 cans a day. To keep fortification doses safe for the outlying consumers would make it a pointless expense, and could be detrimental to the brand if it affects flavor at all.
Condiment, Jan 08 2008

       Oddly, if you were to fortify beer with more vitamins it would simply fly off the shelves.
RayfordSteele, Jan 08 2008

       Have you tasted any of the popular caffeine drinks - by this I mean red bull, V, nrg, etc?   

       I very much doubt that taste is a deciding factor here. It's pretty much "drink for effect" when I use them.
Custardguts, Jan 08 2008

       Clark Kent is an alcoholic?
Condiment, Jan 10 2008

       Up next:   

       Smokemon cards. Half a deck of smokes combined with half a deck of Pokemon cards.
It'l be Huge on the inside.

       // Clark Kent is an alcoholic? //   

       Obviously .... only a career drunk could so consistently get his underpanst on the outside when he transforms into Superman .....
8th of 7, Jan 10 2008


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