Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Expensive, difficult, slightly dangerous, not particularly effective... I'm on a roll.

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No moving parts vacuum cleaner

Nothing but suck. Oh, and flames!
  [vote for,

Vacuum cleaners are fine, but they have filters that get dirty, and bags of dirt, and whirling fans that get clogged and squeak. Here at BUNGCO we just want the suck, nothing to buy, nothing to clean and none of that other dirty breakable stuff.

Consider a gas flame. The gas must have air to support combustion, and the rapid ascent of the hot gasses created entrain air not needed for combustion. This is used to make the vacuum cleaner!

The NMP vacuum starts with a gas jet entering a cylinder from the side. On ignition it creates a flame jet which creates high pressure in front (and flames!) and low pressure behind it in the cylinder. Behind the cylinder is a hose, the far end of which is now sucking air. And also all other vacuumables, such as fur, lint, stray hairs, cobwebs, non-dairy coffee creamer etc.

These vacuumables traverse the hose and enter the flame cylinder where they are incinderated as they pass thru the flame.

It might be good to have the flame exhaust over some nonvital area, like your expanse of asbestos tiled porch.

bungston, Jun 18 2012

Incinerating vacuum Incinerating_20vacuum_20cleaner
I think the idea of creating the vacuum with the flame is novel enough to warrant its own space. But a tip of the hat to 19thly. [bungston, Jun 18 2012]

Gulper Rocket Gulper_20rocket
Wherein is debate on matters of pressure and combustion. [bungston, Jun 23 2012]

Dyson Windmill Dyson_20windmill
Wherein are statements betraying my ignorance of the workings of the bladeless fan. Ah, callow youth. [bungston, Jun 23 2012]


       Yes. [+].
8th of 7, Jun 18 2012


       And the award for Best Neologism of the Month goes to...
UnaBubba, Jun 18 2012

       [+] Hence the song *Burning Down the House* ensues!
xandram, Jun 19 2012

       Suck and toast the crumbs of this croissant. +
xenzag, Jun 19 2012

       I have three dogs and the idea of that much burned hair smell makes me queezy, but I do like rockets, so I'll leave my one complaint to the amount of suction. As stated this would only have as much suction as a wood stove. Actually as much suction as a wood stove with a short chimney. Won't this need a turbine or is this a pulse jet? I will bun if this is modified to include one moving part, the turbine. With that the combustion temperature could be raised enough to fully combust the dog hair and the blades will chop up the larger objects for better combustion and less projectiles firing out the exhaust.
MisterQED, Jun 19 2012

       Thanks for the credit. In the meantime, anything without moving parts gets a bun from me.
nineteenthly, Jun 19 2012

       This is definitely a pulse jet. It's a V1 vacuum cleaner. If you calculate the correct amount of fuel, it will clean a swath all the way to London. Just watch out for Spitfires.
Alterother, Jun 19 2012

       Pulse jets have moving parts in the blinds, shirley?
TolpuddleSartre, Jun 20 2012

       I think house gas is at low pressure. As long as the gas pressure is higher pressure than the vacuum you desire this should work.   

       Anyone who has a handy bunsen burner and some non-dairy creamer could test the concept. Does the creamer get sucked in thru the air vents in the burner?
bungston, Jun 20 2012

       You will get some suction from a bunsen burner, but I think you would actually get more suction if you didn't light it. Bunsen burners use the venturi effect to pull in air for combustion. I suspect that once the burner is lit, the pressure at the outlet of the burner will increases slightly (not much because there is little restriction), so the pressure at the inlet will also increase slighty. It will still be sucking in air, but not quite as much as it was before lighting.
scad mientist, Jun 20 2012

       Vacuum cleaner ideas certainly suck, don't they.
UnaBubba, Jun 20 2012

       //anything without moving parts gets a bun from me//   

       This intrigues me greatly. Do you really prefer solid-state devices to electromechanical engineering?   

       I long for my childhood where to find out how something worked was to dismantle it. Do you really prefer crystal oscillators to a balance wheel? Silent circuit boards to the clicking and clacking of an old telephone exchange? Ceramic lumps on fibreglass to valves and relays? Digital synths to the drawbars and tonewheels of a Hammond Organ?   

       Sure, they're all cheaper, simpler, more reliable... but they're so... unsatisfying. They lack intrinsic beauty. Or am I alone?
mitxela, Jun 21 2012

       ALONE... Alone... alone... lone... one...
UnaBubba, Jun 21 2012

       I have doubts about practicality.   

       Is the concept to use the injection of gas as the motive force for an ejector pump? If so, normal municipal gas supply is at very low pressure, and would not be sufficient to create any sufficient draw.   

       Is the concept to use the draught produced by the burning gas to strengthen the draw? If so, you'd need a tall chimney, and still wouldn't have a strong suction.   

       ...But this is the halfbakery. Practicality be damned, I love the imagery of a vacuum belching flames as it does its job. Bun.
Freefall, Jun 21 2012

       A neat cross-hatching of carbon across your ceiling.
calum, Jun 21 2012

       //Pulse jets have moving parts in the blinds, shirley//   

       ...Not in a valveless pulsejet. Wikipedia is your friend, if you’re interested.
Custardguts, Jun 21 2012

       So is tinea. Wikipedia and tinea also serve roughly the same purpose... irritating, infectious, increasingly ubiquitous.
UnaBubba, Jun 21 2012

       Why should it be that the vacuum be created in-room? Perhaps we should learn from the Victorians, and have the vacuum creating appliance outside, with the suction hose snaking into your dust-fouled hovel, yes outside sits a huge sootblack metal box, to which are yoked two stolid, chamfrien and caparisonéd horses, now black, once skewbald perhaps but who can tell after so many months hefting forward, block by block, this roaring mobile furnace, into the flames of which are hurled wood, coal, urchins, horse dung (from arse, through gutter, to the flames) and, once the heat gets too much for the poor beasts, the horses themselves, on these occasions the furnace attracting the salivating attention of any and all Frenchmen downwind.
calum, Jun 22 2012

       You've been at the metal polish again, haven't you, [calum] ?
8th of 7, Jun 22 2012

       Buth they will produce CO2, won't they?
Inyuki, Jun 22 2012


       I have been pondering this concept. One could make it like a Dyson fan with little gas jets instead of the high speed air up from the base. Still: how to make the gas jets forceful enough to entrain loads of air?   

       One could have the gas jet drive a turbine which in turn augmented gas line pressure. QED left me cold with the idea of the dog hair traversing the turbine, which is rightback to a filthy, grit clogged vacuum cleaner. But a turbine augmenting gas line pressure could be entirely out of the stream of air and hair and so should stay relatively clean.   

       Here is the heart of the question: with no moving parts, no pulses, no turbines, is it possible to create an area of pressure higher than the pressure in the fuel line? I have linked the Gulper Rocket which seems to me to deal with similar issues.   

       I do like Calums proposal to have the vacuum apparatus outside, and he kept me through to stolid, but I stumbled over the chamfrien and landed hard on the caparisonéds.
bungston, Jun 23 2012

       Most, if not all, comments about the actual vacuum seem to center on the air inlet like on a bunsen burner. I think the vacuum would be more so at the actual flame itself, especially if the flame was high speed. Still doesn't avoid burnt hair, either way.
Ling, Jun 23 2012

       I read " asbestos tiled pooch." I think I'll keep it that way in my mind.
Voice, Jun 25 2012


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