Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Padded Speedo

reinforced frontal area to protect "the boys"
  (+17)(+17)
(+17)
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Men involved in the sport of diving off of a board sometimes encounter the problem of "package smackage" when diving into the water, especially during back and reverse head-first entries. A small piece of sponge or neoprene like material inserted in the front of the bathing suit would dissipate the impact of the water and reduce the pain.
dangerousdan, Feb 06 2002

Darwin Awards http://www.darwinawards.com
As if you didn't know... [shonmao, Oct 04 2004]

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       Maybe strap on a metal shield shaped somewhat like the prow of a boat? It could even have a name on it, like "HMS Package"
bristolz, Feb 06 2002
  

       Excuses, Excuses, Excuses. HMS Penis Envy seems more appropriate.
thumbwax, Feb 06 2002
  

       "package smackage". Classic.
salachair, Feb 06 2002
  

       Wouldn't the larger package create more drag, interfering with the smoothness of your passage through the water? I already have this problem.
pottedstu, Feb 06 2002
  

       It could act as a good counter balance to aid in better executed diving though. Or at least, thats what I notice.
mcscotland, Feb 06 2002
  

       You could just stick a cricket 'box' down there.
goff, Feb 06 2002
  

       blissmiss's next invention is an instrument to measure the splash size, possibly involving a series of cats placed in differing proximity to the pool.
pottedstu, Feb 06 2002
  

       For diving? Just learn to do it right. Now water polo, I could see where that might be useful. Problem is that most forms of padding are going to absorb water and create drag, and aren't going to be that effective anyway.
bookworm, Feb 06 2002
  

       //I already have this problem//
Yeah, dragging an anchor around not only slows me down, it's painful.
thumbwax, Feb 06 2002
  

       (Having 'Modern Problems' flashback)   

       I guess - under the auspices of personal protection - I can let this one slide. I'd be surprised if padded swimsuits didn't exist, though. And this idea is likely to start an escalation of padding at the local pool.
phoenix, Feb 06 2002
  

       padding?
po, Feb 06 2002
  

       Yes, padding.
snarfyguy, Feb 07 2002
  

       I was guessing genital warts.
phoenix, Feb 07 2002
  

       <giggles at UnaBubba's description of faux norks...>   

       Croissanted for 'package smackage'...
StarChaser, Feb 08 2002
  

       // Excuses, Excuses, Excuses. HMS Penis Envy seems more appropriate //   

       Um, is this a response to me, or . . . what, exactly, TW?
bristolz, Feb 08 2002
  

       The idea itself.
thumbwax, Feb 08 2002
  

       k
bristolz, Feb 08 2002
  

       THIS IS GREAT IDEA! ive never got a "package smackage" (thats classic) from diving myself but it would make it look bigger... not that i need that thou... nope not at all... *whispers*"sign me up for five from first shipment" =)
i-Mer, Feb 09 2002
  

       Given the sheer quantity of situations that can lead to injury of the male reproductive organs, one has to wonder why codpieces ever went out of style.
nick_n_uit, Feb 09 2002
  

       The Darwin Awards book has an entire chapter of stories about men who lose the family jewels in moronic ways--yes, I'd say it's a common problem.
Galileo, Feb 10 2002
  

       I've been sacked in water polo, hurt like crazy, but thats the game, could be useful. However Package smackage...thats grounds for a croissant
swimr, Oct 05 2004
  

       Could we never use the phrase "package smackage" again?   

       Thanks.
shapu, Oct 05 2004
  

       + just for starting this topic.
JoeyJoJoShabadoo, Oct 25 2005
  

       Hmm.. you'd become known as an ostrich- rather than just a budgie- smuggler.   

       Presumably, for use on the beach: what are you protecting them from, exactly?
Dub, Oct 25 2005
  

       Dub: /on the beach: what are you protecting them from exactly?/   

       package sharkage. Never seen Jaws?
rubyminky, Oct 25 2005
  

       I don't see why we haven't got these already. Ladies have them, without much water absorbtion problmes that I can see, and their "packages" don't have quite as much of a problem with smackage... Except when god's gift to women shows up.
ye_river_xiv, Jun 28 2006
  

       Might I suggest a supercavitation device - it would "blow" bubbles around your package - reducing drag. The military is experimenting with supercavitating torpedos now - supposedly they can break the sound barrier underwater. Perhaps it could be marketed as the "Speedo Torpedo".
trekbody, Jun 28 2006
  
      
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