Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Ham Bikini

A bikini made out of ham.
  (+1, -8)(+1, -8)
(+1, -8)
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I had a dream last night where my girlfriend was wearing a bikini made out of ham. And she looked hot! Maybe this would be an excelent sideline for butchers to sell during the summer.
BTW, Anyone who knows about dream analysis and could indicate what mine means, I would welcome your help. (Neither me, nor my partner are Jewish)
Minimal, Jun 28 2005

not sure if this is redundant with the very silly bacon vest. bacon_20vest
[po, Jun 28 2005]

The Undertones "All Wrapped Up" album cover http://images.googl...=en&lr=&sa=N&tab=wi
The famous bacon minidress. Perhaps you were channeling Feargal Sharkey? [hippo, Jun 28 2005]

(?) http://www.halfbakery.com/idea/Steak_20Trousers More displaced meaty clothingwear
Just...so...odd. [RayfordSteele, Jun 28 2005]


       Perhaps you objectify your girlfriend (ie. girl as piece of meat)? Or maybe you subconsciously view her as something that would go nicely with the ham like fresh salad or cheese? Perhaps you are the ham, and your girlfriend is the complement to the ham! Maybe the ham is the demon you have been grappling with all these years. Perhaps you ate too much ham before bed. Possibly, your brain just likes the idea of lingerie but was getting bored of cotton and silk and such. Whatever the case, do not rest until you solve the mystery!
DocBrown, Jun 28 2005

       Thanks [Doc] I feel much better now.
Maybe if I pop out to the Deli at lunchtime and buy some "material" for a prototyping session this evening, that may help to get to the route of the dream.
Minimal, Jun 28 2005

       There is no other responsible course of action in my view. I look forward to reading your analysis!
DocBrown, Jun 28 2005

       Dream analysis . . . let's see . . . She is doing something feminine, which symbolizes herself or her womanhood. The ham is out of its normal realm, which may mean that the item is doubly symbolic, and perhaps serves only to indicate the sound of the word "ham". The bikini is also not of its normal making, so as a triple icon the origin of the name "bikini" comes forward, symbolizing an island. Add these together, and it is instantly clear that her appearance says, "I 'ham' an island." This is a rather clever play on the saying that no man is an island, and clearly means that she, a woman, is capable of independence and wants to be free. Since this is your dream, and you are excited by this prospect, it is obvious that you honor her independence and wish, yourself, for the ending of your relationship with her, and probably of your relationship with all women. This is reinforced and made clearer by your voluntary introduction of the religious motif. That, and your faith in dream analysis by complete strangers, indicates your life path as a celibate believer. Get thee to a monastery!
baconbrain, Jun 28 2005

calum, Jun 28 2005

       Thanks Baconbrain!!!
BTW, Do you want to buy a Ham Bikini?
Minimal, Jun 28 2005

       prefer a lamborghini
po, Jun 28 2005

       Hey [po] maybe that's it - [minimal] is having dyslexic dreams!
Question about the ham - York, Paris, Aosta, Parma, Speck, Bayonne, Westphalian...?
coprocephalous, Jun 28 2005

       Ham will rot in the sun. Girl will stink in the sun. [-]
maximus5, Jun 28 2005

       The ham won't rot, It'll tan nicely.....
Minimal, Jun 28 2005

       [minimal] Do you like eating ham? If you do, then maybe the bikini was made of ham because you wanted to eat it and then you could see your girlfriend or whoever naked. But who knows? Only the person with the dream can interpret it.
hobbitcoat, Jun 28 2005

       I do like ham, and I like seeing my girlfriend naked. But neither of these things happened in the dream. As much as I appreciate everyones dream-based help, You all seem to be concentrating on the dream. I would appreciate more concentration on the pig-based swimwear worldwide revolution which is about to happen!!!

Remember girls - Your breasts always look big when you're wearing pig!
Minimal, Jun 28 2005

       Hey, don't take this the worng way, but is your girlfriend a "porker"?   

       Ahh, hell, go for it, take it the worng way.
daseva, Jun 28 2005

       No, She's a sweet little piglet-wiglet and I love her dearly......
Minimal, Jun 28 2005

       When you are rubbing suntan lotion on your attractive co-worker's bikini clad ass on the sundeck of a high rise office tower on company time, they are called hams.
mensmaximus, Jun 28 2005

       Was this sliced deli ham or a whole bone-in ham? The connotations are quite different.
bungston, Jun 28 2005

       Why, the worngs do it the worng way, of course.
normzone, Jun 28 2005

       Why does this remind me so much of 'steak trousers?'
RayfordSteele, Jun 28 2005

       "Does this proscuitto make my ass look big?"
moPuddin, Jun 29 2005

       >>BTW, Anyone who knows about dream analysis and could indicate what mine means, I would welcome your help. (Neither me, nor my partner are Jewish)   

       Actually, this PROVES that you are not Jewish.
Madcat, Jun 29 2005

       I won't bone it 'coz it's not fur. Fur is cruel.   

       Plus I'm a meat eater. Anything that makes lunch more interesting can't be bad.
elhigh, Jun 29 2005

       //Why does this remind me so much of 'steak trousers?'// why does this remind me so much of bacon vest?
po, Jun 29 2005

       Wear the new bihami in Miami.
mensmaximus, Jun 29 2005

       I heard of "Makin Bacon" with a girl.... but this is something else - "Wearin Bacon" Doesn't have the same ring.
BritUSA, Sep 23 2005

       + i would buy one. i wouldn't wear it though. oh ok maybe once.
benfrost, Sep 24 2005

       I think I'd wear one as well. It sounds both sexy and delicious, and those are 2 of my top 5 favorite things.   

       The other 3 are pirates, cannons, and monkeys. But I suspect that if I, being a man, was already wearing a ham bikini, those other 3 additions might scare away the beach crowd even more (and just attract curious halfbakers).
sleeka, Sep 24 2005

       Sounds to me like your girlie is good enough to eat. Why don't you give her an avocado facial, rap her in a wonderbread towel, and make a sandwich out of her?   

       <Insert obligatory cannibal jokes here>   

       I was going to suggest ham speedos as an offshoot, but then I got to thinking about the back section... Was this a thong bkini? I hope not!
ye_river_xiv, Jun 28 2006


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