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Pantograph symmetric beard trimmer

Done in half the time
  (+15, -1)(+15, -1)
(+15, -1)
  [vote for,

A facial hair trimming contraption which attaches to your face in such a way that the two trimming heads touch corresponding points on the left and right side.

One of the trim heads is mounted on a freely movable arm that the shaving person can position with his or her hand. The other trim head is mounted on a pantograph arm, set to move correspondingly in a symmetric pattern, duplicating in reverse the movement of the first trim head.

To operate, shave or trim normally on one side of the face with the free moving arm, while the pantographed arm takes care of the other side automatically.

Guaranteed a perfectly symmetric beard or moustache trim, done in half the time (not including set up and calibration).

Best results on symmetric faces, of course - but don't let that be a deterrent... your face might not be symmetrical but your facial hair can be.

I've determined that having the moving parts of the apparatus descend out of the front of a hat is workable... I think this has merit though am concerned the hat will result in a less than adequate experience for the considerably hirsute.

Head and genital adaptor kits available soon.

tatterdemalion, Aug 22 2013

The products mentioned by 8th http://www.amazon.c...view/R231U4ZG0YDNHD
[calum, Aug 23 2013]


       I like the idea, but I think I'll stick with my manually administered package grooming process for the nonce, thanks.
normzone, Aug 22 2013

       It could work..... But that's no deterrent! +
xenzag, Aug 22 2013

       Just a little bit off of the jugular, please. [+]
Alterother, Aug 22 2013

       I've made a terrible mistake, seems I neglected to ensure the cutter blade extended all the way to the edges of the trim heads - resulting in an unsightly soul patch seam of untrimmed hair up the center of the neck and chin where the trim heads butted together. Perhaps I can finagle this into a feature, not a bug.
tatterdemalion, Aug 23 2013

       [+] good idea! Does it come with template designs?
xandram, Aug 23 2013

       //Head and genital adaptor//
The implication being that you can style yr pubes so that they look like your head hair? This would be good for bringing any bedroom action to a cold stop the minute you slip off your underpants.
calum, Aug 23 2013

       Well, it worked for Tony Blair.   

       Admittedly that was in reverse, but since he was a complete dickhead he got away with it.   

8th of 7, Aug 23 2013

       <shopping channel>But wait, that's not all! The pantographic symmetric beard trimmer also comes with a front and back mechanism that allows you to style the hair on the front and the back of your head identically. Using the Pantographic Symmetric Clown Make Up Applicator - available as part of this one great deal, at no extra cost - you can cheer and alarm the nearby, rendering them incapable of determining whether the bearded clown is coming toward or away!</sc>
calum, Aug 23 2013

       I am curious why the kit comes with options for trilateral and radial symmetry.   

       I weep as I ponder the most likely use for such a device: to be introduced early in the show as the mad inventor's latest, only to go horribly wrong later on. Why must it go horribly wrong? Why?? Can the wild haired scientist not emerge from his machine dapper and groomed to scientific perfection from that episode forward?
bungston, Aug 23 2013

       Radial symmetry would surely be a beard lathe.
calum, Aug 23 2013

       Actually, there are a number of cheap and widely available pyrotechnics (and indeed volatile accelerants) that do a really cracking job of removing unwanted facial hair.   

       The fact that they also remove wanted facial hair is not necessarily a downside.
8th of 7, Aug 23 2013

       //your face might not be symmetrical but your facial hair can be.// I've always thought that the reverse would be quite amusing - a beard and moustache offset slightly from the midline.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 23 2013

       //I've determined that having the moving parts of the apparatus descend out of the front of a hat is workable... // The positioning of the hat will be a constant source of error once the apparatus is calibrated and fully set-up. It would be more sensible to clip it to the top of the nose in a pince-nez manner, assuming, of course, that one's monobrow will be trimmed in a separate operation or that the cutters are suitably small. [+] though.
TomP, Aug 23 2013

       Given that practically everyone has an asymmetrical face, this should result in unbridled hilarity with every use.
UnaBubba, Aug 23 2013

       If only God had used a pantograph. Shoddy work that was.
RayfordSteele, Aug 27 2013


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