Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Paste-on Pustules

Gets you out of the unwanted social or business function
  (+6, -1)
(+6, -1)
  [vote for,

My lady had a face-painting business for years and one of her most memorable jobs provided the basis for my idea. She was contacted by a 'young-and-in-love' couple who required her help.

Apparently, the girl's parents were quite insistent upon the couple attending a "happy-clappy" religious retreat with them for the upcoming weekend and the couple were just as keen not to go. As the lass had recently overcome a bout of chicken pox they correctly figured that if the boy contracted it they would have the perfect excuse.

After a quick search of the Internet to find a suitably grisly example, my lady painted the appropriate looking pustules on his exposed arms and face. It worked and the young couple acheived an entire weekend of "alone time" with no hurt feelings or family acrimony.

Not everyone has a talented face painter at their disposal so I suggest creating a range of latex-based self-sticking pustules. Peel and Stick then you're good to get out of that excrutiating family obligation or tedious business function.

There could be an entire range of fake malady products - pustules, plaster casts, weeping sores etc. If you make them grisly enough no one will even risk close examination.

AusCan531, Aug 28 2011


       Unfortunately, whatever pustules I have had only served to make social situtations unwanted and never releaved me of them.
rcarty, Aug 28 2011

       They sort of have these at higher end halloween stores.   

       They are reusable and a little spirit gum and powder make-up is all you need. For past costumes I've sometimes glued half of a rubber worm to the inside of an open pucker wound on one side of my face and the other half to my other cheek for propper zombification.   

       Through the nose works good too.   

       Sigh [+].
leinypoo13, Sep 07 2012

       Half a raisin makes a good fake wart* [+]

* Blue Peter annual, c.1965 Or was it a currant?
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Sep 07 2012

       Be careful what you wish for.
Lesser Spotted Kiwi, Sep 07 2012

       Edmund Blackadder: "Baldrick, why are you wearing a false boil? What are we to expect next: a beauty wart? a cosmetic verruca?"

Baldrick: "It's a Scarlet Pimple, Sir."
DrBob, Sep 07 2012

       According to Mark Twain's _The Prince and the Pauper_, "'Clime' was the cant term for a sore, artificially created." But the beggars actually damaged the skin, which might not be popular.
baconbrain, Sep 07 2012

       Advertising slogan - "For the girl who wants everything"
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Sep 07 2012

       "Sorry, I can't go to your wedding, I've got the chicken pox."   

       "You liar! Anyone can tell those are fake paste-on pustules, look, if I scratch them they come right off... wait, these aren't coming off... uh-oh"
phundug, Sep 07 2012


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