Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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I never imagined it would be edible.

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The 'call in sick' phone.
  [vote for,

Billions of dollars are spent on technology to make you sound great, but not here at PhoneSick.

After a two minute conversation on one of our PhoneSick phones not only will your employer pity you but s/he will be willing to drive you to the hospital personally.

Perfect for normal conversations but at any time you can switch into one of our convincing voice filters...

Near Death

Plus, the display will allow you to pick the sound effects you plan on using before you call. Choose from over 1000 of our MP3 quality bodily functions to be programmed into quick keys. Never use the same sound effect twice.*

You'll always be able to cut a conversation short at any time.

Perfect for unwanted calls from...

Debt Collectors

*per job

sartep, Mar 06 2004

World Phone in Sick Day http://www.underbel...t/docs/sickcont.htm
Variously planned for May 1st, 2nd and April 6. Clearly there's no one at the office to co-ordinate properly. [calum, Oct 04 2004]

Background noises on mobile phone calls http://news.bbc.co....hnology/3498714.stm
[sartep]'s idea halfbaked to baked in 4 days...? [jonthegeologist, Oct 04 2004]


       Bueller, Bueller, Bueller?
krod, Mar 06 2004

       "Better call 911, just to be sure."
dpsyplc, Mar 06 2004

       Funnily enough - I'm actually thinking of pulling a sickie tomorrow myself. Not for any real reason; just cos I can't be arsed going in to work. Wracking my brains trying to find a suitable ailment at the moment. Any suggestions would be much appreciated. I've already used Scurvy, Procrastination (sounds like a medical term - my boss is stupid) and the Black Death, so you can rule them out already.
lostdog, Mar 07 2004

       Shoot. I was gonna say scurvy.
waugsqueke, Mar 07 2004

       Botulism, Beri Beri, Legionares (fairly possible, actually, if you work in an air-conditioned building), St. Vitus dance?
squeak, Mar 08 2004

       Peculiar. There was a brief snippet in free UK commuter tabloid "Metro" today about a firm that offers a "corroboration of excuse via pre-recorded background noise" service. No voice filters, as far as I remember but deffo jackhammers and gunfire.
calum, Mar 08 2004

       There should also be realistic background sounds piped in -- such as (a) doctor's waiting room, (b) emergency room, (c) video game arcade - no, wait, that's not a good one; (d) Ukrainian nurse taking care of you in your house and nagging you to dress varmly and get sleep.   

       (P.S. 1000 bodily functions? Do I have that many?)
phundug, Mar 08 2004

       No, but you don't want to be caught using the same version of one twice, now do you?
sartep, Mar 08 2004

       see linky. Could be that this is baked?
jonthegeologist, Mar 10 2004


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