Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Say, "PYE- RAH - TEES"
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A physical exercise and fitness system based on the day to day activities of pirates.

Rather than bending, stretching, deep breathing and exhalation, carried out in a gymansium-type environemnt, Pirates is taught on board a small square-rigged sailing ship. Activities include climbing up the rigging, clewing up the main'sl, running the guns in and out, walking the plank, and digging in sand on deserted (or desert) islands to create places to conceal treasure.

Unlike the pale, weedy adherents of Pilates, those following the teaching of Pirates are sturdy, sun-bronzed hearties, sound of wind and limb, and liable to be shot on sight by the Royal Navy.

8th of 7, Apr 14 2010

Here's your business model for your gym memberships Multilevel_20Marketing_20Piracy
[normzone, Apr 14 2010]

Supermarket_20Pirates See my Dec 19 2004 anno... [hippo, Apr 14 2010]

Reminds me of this... http://www.youtube....watch?v=1oDTNEEu3Rw
Nice bit of rural/natural training - all with a classic 80s soundtrack. [Jinbish, Apr 15 2010]

Haggis Flood http://books.google...v=onepage&q&f=false
[pocmloc, Apr 18 2010]


       Arrggh. You forgot me favorite one: pushing around barrels of rum! [+]
swimswim, Apr 14 2010

       Arr there swimswim, yer rum barrel is rolling a mite light! Be you needing a keelhauling exfoliation treatment?
bungston, Apr 14 2010

       I be lookin for'ard to tunin up me physic!
wagster, Apr 14 2010

       Presumably we are all in training for a new brand of Royal Tournament? Royal Navy vs Amateurs!? Assume two parallel galleons and then proceed in competing boarding excercises.   

       Aside: I thought this idea would be about Iron Pyrites...   

       "The pack on my back is aching,
the straps seem to cut me like a knife"...
<apols to the Stone Roses>
Jinbish, Apr 14 2010

       Is there frigging in the rigging? (aside - I have a separate idea called: The Pontius Pilates Finger Bowl Exercise System, but won't bother posting it now - the annotation explains most of it)
xenzag, Apr 14 2010

       We suggest you wash your hands of the whole idea.
8th of 7, Apr 14 2010

       Why...under me buck'nhat o'course.   

       Won't the hooks pop the excersize balls?
MikeD, Apr 15 2010


       "Aye, it's driving me nuts!"
normzone, Apr 15 2010

       //sturdy, sun-bronzed ... sound of wind and limb// except the ones with hooks, wooden legs, eyepatches....
mouseposture, Apr 15 2010

       Yes, the ones nicknamed Lucky...
Canuck, Apr 15 2010

       Like my Manly Gym idea but with a nautical rather than lumberjack theme.
marklar, Apr 15 2010

       I can also see a place in this regime for RIB driving and AK strip down and rebuild
pocmloc, Apr 15 2010

       As I understand it, the main day to day activities of pirates were sitting around being bored, getting drunk, getting into fights and getting hanged.
DrBob, Apr 16 2010

       Sounds like my kind of excercise programme.
wagster, Apr 16 2010

       How can I not bun this? Excellent idea.   

       Cannonballs could replace medicine balls.
Mrlemonjelly, Apr 16 2010

<slow handclaps>
8th of 7, Apr 17 2010

       I was in the bookstore the other day and saw a new release in a series about undead swashbucklers called "Vampirates"... thanks to this post my thoughts wandered off in a totally different direction.
FlyingToaster, Apr 17 2010

       And on another subject, would a series of t-shirts bearing the likenesses of Charles Lindbergh, Amelia Earhart, Chuck Yeager, etc. be rightfully called Pilot-tees?   

       <Sorry! It's past my bedtime...>
Canuck, Apr 17 2010

       And a pastry case filled with milky coffee could be a pie latté.
pocmloc, Apr 17 2010

       I like the pie and coffee idea and it's dinner time. This can only lead to one thing... Beef and onion pie latté. Will report in an hour:O)
saedi, Apr 17 2010

       In the end it was beef and mushroom pie latté. Espresso poured into a hole in the centre and left for 5 minutes as it cooled. Not too sure it's a winner...
saedi, Apr 17 2010

       Well if you used espresso what do you expect? [+] for the attempt though.
pocmloc, Apr 17 2010

       All of the weights should be made from fool's gold.
marklar, Apr 18 2010

       "[morrison_rm] has left the building ...."
8th of 7, Apr 18 2010

       //<slow handclaps>//   

       Indeed. "Pirates of Punzance"
Jinbish, Apr 18 2010

       Of course it had to be espresso. A regular coffee would have poured off the plate... Causing bits of pie to float all over the table. Not good. Not good at all!
saedi, Apr 18 2010

pocmloc, Apr 18 2010

       [pocmloc] Erudition, yes, I expect that around here but ... how the *hell* did you come up with that?
mouseposture, Apr 19 2010

       Ni hansa, O squeaky one, I looked it up on goggle bocks.   

       [saedi], you misunderstand - it is a defining feature of a latté that it is very milky, and a similarly defining feature of an espresso that it is not. Hence my suspicion that substitution would disappoint.
pocmloc, Apr 19 2010

       Would an espresso latté just be a cappuccino?
marklar, Apr 19 2010

       <rushes off to fetch shotgun>
DrBob, Apr 19 2010

       You're right. I fail. There was no milk in it. However, not a chance I'm tipping any more coffee on a pie. So whether it's good or not will have to remain a mystery now.
saedi, Apr 19 2010

       This is not a lucrative business. If we lobbied together as the Equivoquologists Union, we could maybe secure an increase in the pay rates of pun science.
pocmloc, Apr 19 2010

       what about us? we need payrises in the feild of bun science [+]
xxobot, Apr 20 2010

       The angry pirate - a deviant sexual practice that leaves the woman hopping on one foot and covering one eye with her hand. Prehaps you could incorporate this into the work out?
S-note, Apr 23 2010

       // This is not a lucrative business. //   

       We are minded to dispute that; once you have a sufficient number of rum-addicted hearties practised in the arts of shinning up ropes, heaving to, and other piratical activities, the opportunites in the waters of the Somali coast are ripe for exploitation.
8th of 7, Apr 23 2010

       God I miss 8th. Love his reaction to "Medicine balls would be replaced with cannon balls."   

       This would be fun as hell.
doctorremulac3, Feb 07 2024


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