Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Non-alcoholics anonymous

Hello, my name is Parvenu, and I don't drink
  [vote for,

Lots of people, like me, don't drink. Lots of people, like me, also go to parties where everyone else gets totally inebriated.

Non-alcoholics anonymous would be a support group where non-drinkers can go to discuss how they cope with their teetotality in various social contexts. Some may feel left out by not drinking, and others may simply be left at a loose end at such gatherings.
N-AA groups could discuss what to do if everyone else has passed out in a heap on the floor, how to win arguments about why you don't drink, or maybe just what to do when everyone else is down the pub.

Parvenu, Mar 08 2003

Alcohol is good for you http://tinyurl.com/740g
[mrthingy, Oct 04 2004]

Depression and anxiety in non-drinkers http://www.alcohol-.../papers/abstain.htm
You need help! Compared with drinkers, non-drinkers "were the most introverted and least fun-seeking and scored lower on drive". This may be linked to double the prevalence of poor health compared with moderate drinkers, and a tendency to anxiety and depression. Non-drinkers also typically have less "social support" than moderate drinkers. (This paper is frustratingly lacking in detail, however.) [pottedstu, Oct 04 2004]

Temperance Movement http://www.loyno.ed.../1992-3/smith-r.htm
Wasn't this kind of baked in the 19th century? (If you read this, you will see there was much more to the movement than just campaigning against drinking: some organisations seemed more like the Freemasons.) [pottedstu, Oct 04 2004]


       Parvenu, it's never too late to start.
thumbwax, Mar 08 2003

       //This makes a mockery of support groups.//
The same might be said of any idea in this category. I know, I know...."just because the category exists, that doesn't mean....etc."

       //people who get pissed//
I wonder if this problem could be leveraged into discounts for N-AA members at some establishments.
krelnik, Mar 08 2003

       So I guess there's no support group for Non-Anonymous Alcoholics?
FarmerJohn, Mar 08 2003

       Isn't this the Moonies or the Shakers or something?
DrCurry, Mar 08 2003

       The implication appears to be that everyone who drinks gets drunk; and further that every such person is, or is about to become, alcoholic. I drink socially, I occasionally drink alone, mostly in moderation. On the rare occasions that I get noticably drunk, I am never offensive or annoying (well, no more than I am normally). Why do you feel the need for a 'support group' simply because you don't drink? I don't gamble, but I feel no such need.
[UnaBubba], I also despise those who 'get pissed and make life hard for staff'; I also despise those who stay sober and make life hard for staff. Drinking - drunkenness even - does not per se make a person annoying.
angel, Mar 08 2003

       Parvenu is very clearly looking for support for *not* drinking, even though s/he is a teetotaller not a recovering alcoholic. Depending on my mood, I often don't drink at social functions, but the pressure to drink can be enormous. (We have lost friends because my wife doesn't drink at all.)
DrCurry, Mar 08 2003

       //what to do if everyone else has passed out in a heap on the floor//
(a) Go through their wallets. Leave.
(b) Shave their eyebrows. Leave.
(c) Leave.

       //how to win arguments about why you don't drink//
You can't. Don't try.

       //what to do when everyone else is down the pub//
Well, you've only left yourself with "women and song." That should do yer - form a girl band.
my face your, Mar 08 2003

       So does that mean we can have a Non-Smokers annoymous, a Non-drug takers anonymous, a Non-sheep-dipping anonymous, a Non-.... I think you get the idea. If you don't want to drink, don't! If you feel you have to explain yourself, your in the wrong company. Sorry but something smells fishy...
silverstormer, Mar 08 2003

       You need a t-shirt: I don't drink, I fall down. The problem is, I feel the pain immediately.
thumbwax, Mar 08 2003

       I know the feeling [Parvenu]. It's pretty boring being the only sober person in a room full of drunk people. Nice piece of satire (+)
madradish, Mar 08 2003

       Sheesh, you get that feeling around here all the time!
DrCurry, Mar 08 2003

       Sheesh! For people who spent two days making dead fish jokes ya'll are taking this way to serious.

It is a pain in the ass to deal with pressure no matter where it comes from, and the twist in this idea, playing off the "whoa is me" "I'm a victim" aspect of our current cultural mindset is clever and well done. Would that I had more than one crescent to give. (+)
ato_de, Mar 09 2003

       // How can I lower the threshold of what's socially acceptable behavior and relax someone without getting them drunk? //   

       Sodium pentathol?   

       ("whoa is me".. haha that's great.)
waugsqueke, Mar 09 2003

       jutta: sobering post. It is a feature of people with a drinking problem that they get intensely self-conscious around (and thus avoid or heavily pressure) people who do not drink.
DrCurry, Mar 09 2003

       <Yosemite Sam> Woe, mule! Woe! </YS>
DrBob, Mar 10 2003

       Love the idea, had this problem a lot of time. Same goes with drugs, and actually, any kind of group-like activities (sports, heavy metal, role playing games, trading cards, video games........)   

       The thing is: the goal of AA is to STOP drinking. Would N AA help people to START?   

       Now that would REALLY be great. "yesterday I stayed in front of my beer until it got warm. I just couldn't!!"
sidi, Nov 13 2003


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