Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Pocket Squirrel

friend to the mustachioed evil-doer
  (+9, -1)(+9, -1)
(+9, -1)
  [vote for,

He lives underneath your cape, see? He's been trained to come out and twirl your mustache for you when you've got both hands busy tying a damsel to the train tracks.
pigtails_and_ponies, Apr 14 2007

Ray Stevens rules. http://www.sidewalk...T/html/squirrel.htm
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Apr 14 2007]

Here's one we prepared earlier... http://www.elsewher...uirrels-are-stupid/
[ConsulFlaminicus, Apr 16 2007]


       fair warning: if this squirrel turns out to be baked, you'll force me to make him bluetooth enabled and solar powered.
pigtails_and_ponies, Apr 14 2007

       Wait, let me guess... he works for peanuts!   

       <looks around for drum kit, drummer. Oh, crap!>   

       I don't know from baked squirrel, but I think I've tasted deep-fried chipmunk fingers.   

       <recalls old punchline - "Are you the Fish Friar?"; "No, I'm the Chip Monk" - then goes back to sleep>
Canuck, Apr 14 2007

       He's been spotted. [link]   

       [Canuck] didn't I catch your act at a Poconos dinner theater? If memory serves, you had just flown in from Vancouver and boy were your arms tired!
pigtails_and_ponies, Apr 14 2007

       mind he doesn't pinch your nuts.
po, Apr 14 2007

       Great! I have the 'tash and could use one of these (imagining self having just tied missus to track arms akimbo head thrown back "mwrah ha ha ha ha")
the dog's breakfast, Apr 14 2007

       Is this related to the pocket hamster?
nuclear hobo, Apr 14 2007

       The title maybs sounds like some kind of weird toy. But, I guess villians need their fun too..
daseva, Apr 14 2007


       I'd prefer a toad for my moustache. Squirrles get rabid, and then they foam at the mouth. Nobody gives you any credit if you have a mad squirrel in your cape pocket.   

       But why would I tie a damsel to the train track? That's not nearly private enough for kinky things like that. Besides, it makes the train smoke go back down into the engine when you do that.
ye_river_xiv, Apr 16 2007

       support group?
pertinax, Apr 16 2007

       Pocket lobster surely. He could comb and even trim your Terry-Thomas, clip the end off cigars and cut through ropes if bound by the hero. They also have the advantage of being relatively minionesquely menacing with the ever-present possibility of comedic stupidity, plus they wouldn't drown if the dastardly baddy found himself in the drink.   

       "Hah, I always knew you were small-fry".
marklar, Apr 16 2007


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