Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Please Hold My Poo

It says please so the toilet wont think you're rude.
  (+10, -6)
(+10, -6)
  [vote for,

I, like other health minded individuals, prefer to give at least a casual glance at my defecation after eliminating. The automatic flushers in many public restrooms do not allow this. By the time I stand up, my elimination is swirling down to the sewer leaving me curious about my bowel health.

I am proposing a "Please hold my poo" button located on the flush switch to be pressed by bowel-curious individuals. Basically, a pause button for the toilet. Twenty seconds after the user has stood, the toilet flushes as usual.

bleh, Apr 30 2007

Toiletron Toiletron
[hippo, May 01 2007]

The toilet that knows too much http://www.twodeco.com/smart-furniture/
hm... [bleh, Oct 01 2007]


       Good thing it's not a pay toilet - they'd make you insert another coin.
phundug, Apr 30 2007

       It seems that there's a pretty clear distinction between being health minded and having a healthy mind.
MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 30 2007

       Move to New Zealand; automatically flushing toilets have yet to migrate here. (I've heard rumours of sightings, but even if those tales are true, the Flushettus Automaticus Australis species appear to be shy, elusive creatures, hiding in cubicles trying to avoid being seen.) Our public toilets are the more common Flushettus Handpressus species, quite happy to let you gaze fondly into their festering depths for as long as you wish.
imaginality, Apr 30 2007

       Sp: Flushettus automaticus Australis   

       Sp: Flushettus handpressus   

       (can one get <i> italics <i/> here also?)
MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 30 2007

       I'd love to, [Imaginality]. Thats actually a goal of mine. though not for this particular reason.
bleh, Apr 30 2007

       I appreciate the desire to examine one's 'output'. It can be a good indicator for health. Sadly, in the loos at my work it would appear, all too often, that the person before me is in good enough health to "sink the Bismarck"...
Jinbish, Apr 30 2007

       Ever seen "V" shaped poop with a hint of blood from thrombosis?
twitch, May 01 2007

       As mentioned poo is a very important subject for health. In fact there is a story of a man, I believe a Japanese Spy, who spent several years in hiding in the wild. Everyday he very carefully inspected the consistency of his poo to regulate his health until the war was over. Of course he had to allow for some differentiation as his diet changed with the seasons, but for the most part, being doctorless it was his only way to make sure he was in good health.   

       I have always wondered what he would do if he discovered something had gone awry.
ColonelMuffins, May 01 2007

       It could be like an automated photo booth - you wait outside for a photo of your poo to be processed.
hippo, May 01 2007

       Why stop there? Have a system that extracts the poo from the pan, analyses it, and produces a full report.
jtp, May 01 2007

       Why not attach a video feed inside the bowl, and you can watch it on a screen installed on the stall door in front of you. You can watch yourself wipe too.
twitch, May 01 2007

       //It could be like an automated photo booth - you wait outside for a photo of your poo to be processed.//   

       The cleaning staff at the train station want to talk to you, [hippo].
imaginality, May 01 2007

       Ahhh... Flushettus automaticus Australis.   

       Had my first encounter with one of these the other day. It apparently thought that me leaning forward to free the end of the bog roll was evidence of my departure from the cubicle.   

       Unpleasant wetness ensued.   

       I vote that Flushettus a.A. be hunted to extinction.   

       Cherry bombs, anyone?
m_Al_com, May 01 2007

       Flushettus automaticus americus can easily be fooled. Simply lay a strip of toilet paper across its eyes, and it thinks it's night.
shapu, May 01 2007

       There's a strand of salesmanship mising here: poo-examination is not driven solely by medical curiosity. No. There are times when the poo-er can feel, as it exits, the mighty length and girth of his or her stool, finding him or herself connected, by a tower of faeces, to the inland sea of the lavvy bowl. In such circumstances, the passing of an opporunity to examine ones, er, bumdiwork, is a tragedy. Indeed, such is the Ozymandian scale of some works of sphinctral sculpture that a flushing, however reluctant, is an ignominous fate. For such stools, such rare and precious stools, there should be availabe for purchase foot or so long miniature viking pyre ships, replete with oars made from Starbucks coffee stirrers, and masts from creosoted Smarties tubes, so that the pooer can, by whatever means he or she deems to be most appropriate, transfer the stool to the longship, and, with the aid of a can of lighter fluid and a book of matches, set the stool ablaze and set the blaze afloat, to slip over and ultimately through the black night sea, as fond memories crossfade through your mind.
calum, May 01 2007

       [calum] High Score! - see link.
hippo, May 01 2007

       Everything about this smells of shit, I think.
blissmiss, May 01 2007

       [calum] nice sentimental thoughts. But they say a picture lasts longer. Even better, for a small fee, those of us who deliver mighty large poo could image the poo and then transfer that image to a 3D printer to form a nice memento of the accomplishment. If one were to acquire enough of the 3D poo facsimiles, one could assemble them into a mobile, perhaps painting each one with a bright color. Then one could enjoy the poos as they slowly swirl in mid-air.   

       Hmmmm, smell that? Smells like a patent ;)
pathetic, May 02 2007

       Ha! What if the toilette asks you for a favor in return though!?
quantum_flux, May 03 2007

       //As if the large blast radius from chocolate covered dry roasted peanut fragments and the smell of a large dairy farm isn't hint enough. //   

       maybe you should have a look at your poo, that doesnt sound healthy.   

       //What if the toilette asks you for a favor in return though!?//   

       After what I've done to it's kin, I'd be much obliged.
bleh, May 03 2007

       It seems that a major item of toilet etiquette has been forgotten, what about the courtesy flush?
PlainolMike, May 03 2007

       courtesy flush is definitely still an option. I think my original idea has been lost in the anno's This idea is merely a pause button for automatic flushing toilets. It is not any sort of poo keepsake. Its not to revel in the majesty of your excrement, its to make sure you're bowels are healthy. It doesn't need to stay long, just longer than it takes to stand and turn around.   

       Its also still an option for the toilet to function as normal, just don't push the button. Most of those auto-toilets have a flush button also, so the courtesy flush is still on the table.
bleh, May 04 2007

       //so the courtesy flush is still on the table.//
MaxwellBuchanan, May 04 2007

       personally, I don't know if men have as much a problem as women, but I'd like this to halt that spray of cold toilet water up my bum from the anxious flush. If it analyzed it, better. That saves me the trouble of looking or figuring out how to approach the doctor about my poo.
Lalala, May 04 2007

       //Why stop there? Have a system that extracts the poo from the pan, analyses it, and produces a full report. //   

bleh, Oct 01 2007

       Good idea. And appropriate to your user name. +
bnip, Oct 03 2007

       There are many people up here who don't quite grasp the concept that not all toilets are automatic. Some even go into toilets that haven't been flushed, do their business and STILL don't flush!   

       (+) if the "hold" button is impossible to jam.
Shadow Phoenix, Mar 08 2008

       Whenever I read this title, I imagine a service where gloved men and women are paid to -- urk.
qt75rx1, Mar 10 2008


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