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Private toilet sharing

For the desperate ...
  [vote for,

Some localities exhibit a complete dearth of public washroom facilities.

It has been explained* to us that apparently this constitutes a problem to persons of the female persuasion who seem unhappy with the typical male solution of disappearing into the nearest available patch of shrubbery and promptly solving their problem.

BorgCo analysts have a solution; a private toilet sharing scheme.

Just sign up for the scheme and download the App. By signing up, you agree to allow other scheme members to use the toilet facilities** in your dwelling - if, that is, you are there when the call comes.

When out and about, should an urgent need arise, consult the app, and it will show the location of other scheme member homes in the vicinity. You can then contact them via the app and request use of their toilet. Should they agree, go and knock at their door and identify yourself.

After the transaction, both parties can provide a rating to the system - for the user, politeness of householder and cleanliness of facility; for the householder, demeanour and behaviour of user (muddy bootprints, remembering to flush, use of air freshener and/or lingering taint).

Since to join the scheme you must have a loo of your own to offer, and must therefore provide verifiable address information, this is not a particularly good way of obtaining access to someone else's property for the purposes of checking it out for burglary or home invasion, and too many Black Marks may get you excluded from the scheme.

* loudly and forcefully, the explanation ending abruptly with bruising to the listener's ear region.

*if any. Dwellers if rural areas may have wildly variant concepts of what constitutes "toilet facilities".

8th of 7, Nov 18 2019

Poober https://thestrand.c...s-uber-for-toilets/
[bs0u0155, Nov 18 2019]

half-baked, although not nearly so eloquently. airjohn
[Voice, Nov 18 2019]


       I think this has been talked about. Poober? Loober? ah, found it: <link>
bs0u0155, Nov 18 2019

       Is there any part of the linked scheme which protects against receiving a right ding on the lughole for innocent comments made in good faith ?
8th of 7, Nov 18 2019

       Given the proliferation of autonomous vehicles...
FlyingToaster, Nov 18 2019

       //Private toilet sharing// This could have been so much worse.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 18 2019

       "Make it so ..."   

       Just ask Sturton for ideas on the theme. The transcript of the last court case but three should provide plentiful material.   

       // proliferation of autonomous vehicles. //   

       <Envisions Tardis-replica Portaloo trundling briskly along a suburban street to its assignation/>   

       You may well be on to something there, [FT] - post it ...
8th of 7, Nov 18 2019

       //Portaloo//... well, that’s got to be the premise for the next season of Dr Who. Update “Police telephone box” to “Portaloo” and endless hilarity and new plot ideas flood out!
Frankx, Nov 18 2019

       If something "floods out", the unit has clearly developed a catastrophic fault.   

       Besides, a TV show where a mysterious stranger invites various people, some young and physically attractive, to join him in a mobile toilet so they can "share adventures together" is not the sort of thing historically considered appropriate for broadcasting by a public service provider at prime time and before the watershed.   

       We're not saying there's no market fot it, mind ... but more likely on pay-per-view cable channels.
8th of 7, Nov 18 2019

       Eh... “Turdis”?
Frankx, Nov 18 2019


       Naughty [Frankx], go to your room !
8th of 7, Nov 18 2019

       Ouch! Just laughed so hard it hurt!   

       <hiding in room/>
Frankx, Nov 18 2019

       Generally redundant with linked idea
Voice, Nov 18 2019

       The comedian Daniel Tosh had a skit for this on his show a few years back.
doctorremulac3, Nov 18 2019


       You may have just solved a major problem I've been having in developing my Poopstar! app. More research is needed.
tatterdemalion, Nov 18 2019

       //Tardis-replica Portaloo// EEE VAC UATE!.... EEE VAC UATE!...   

       //transcript of the last court case but three// You're not keeping up, [8th]. Last but three would be the one with the orphans and the telephone directory.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 18 2019


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