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Public Bathroom White Noise

Cover your toots with the gentle curdles of an autumn stream
  (+8, -5)
(+8, -5)
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If I have to do business, I do it alone. As always, the stall nextdoor gets occupied.

Silence.

Who'll make the first sound?

Save yourself from this embarassment. A small speaker inside the toilet bowl, or on the back, (or anywhere practical for that matter) begins emitting any kind of nature sounds i.e. rainstorm, stream, ocean waves, etc. as soon as your tush lands on the porcelain.

A simpler variation would be to play loud nature sounds over the speaker system in the ceiling. Takes the edge off your noises, and makes going to the bathroom that much more pleasant. Maybe even paint the inside of the stall to look like a jungle or mountain clearing. The possibilities are endless...

ophello, Oct 07 2005

Otohime http://metropolis.j...3/biginjapaninc.htm
Is this the kind of thing you mean? [nineteenthly, Oct 07 2005]

Toto Ltd's Sound Princess http://www.wordpres...org/index.php?p=312
Another take on providing white noise to mask bodily functions while being environmentally conscious. Who cares whether it's fake nature sounds or fake toilet flushing sounds? The principle is identical, and I think this unit has a more useful and sophisticated activation device. [jurist, Oct 09 2005, last modified Oct 10 2005]

Shameless self promotion Disco_20Party_20Bathroom
[AfroAssault, Oct 10 2005]

[link]






       This is baked. It happens in Japan exactly as you describe.
nineteenthly, Oct 07 2005
  

       It constantly amazes me how USAians shit in their bathrooms. How the hell did you ever win the War of independence?   

       ANyway, suggest title change to Brown Noise.
ConsulFlaminicus, Oct 08 2005
  

       I'm pretty sure this is redundant with an identical idea that was [mfd] and deleted as it was widely known to exist.
wagster, Oct 08 2005
  

       hey, wag! its gone then.   

       I usually strike up a conversation in this predicament.
po, Oct 08 2005
  

       Strangely enough, my boss started a conversation with me yesterday while I was.... downloading my A: drive. He kind of petered out when he realised how absurd the situation was and finished "I'll talk to you later, ok?". I laughed myself silly.
wagster, Oct 08 2005
  

       //I was.... downloading my A: drive.//
Top Euphemism!!
gnomethang, Oct 08 2005
  

       How is this idea baked? It's nature sounds, not toilet flushing sounds. It's activated by sitting down.
ophello, Oct 08 2005
  

       Bakeable-just put a fan in the bathroom (with a switch seperate from the light switch, in case you didnt want that noise going)
Dickcheney6, May 01 2008
  

       There has been much bruiting about brown noise. Perhaps this would be more useful in this location?
bungston, May 01 2008
  

       //just put a fan in the bathroom //
A Chelsea fan, or a ManU fan?
Either way, it is gonna be smelly.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, May 01 2008
  

       [+] I wouldn't be embarrassed about the sounds that I make. I just don't want to hear my neighbor if he is having "complications" during the download.
Jscotty, May 01 2008
  

       +! I suggest heavy traffic sounds; horn honking, roaring motorcycles, overloud doppler-warped rap tracks... why be subtle?
Grumbleshark, May 02 2008
  

       I always put on my iPod, so I can't hear myself. That works too. :-)
django, May 04 2008
  
      
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