Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Make mine a double.

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Pump Action Torch

point into the dark and shoot
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Pump Action Torch looks like a shotgun, but it's actually a really powerful torch.

You load in the multiple batteries using the same action as per the insertion of cartridges into a pump action shotgun. (see car chase scene in Bullitt when the shotgun gets loaded)

When you pull the trigger, instead of a deadly blast of lead shot, a powerful beam of light is emitted.

Advantages: heavy and well engineered; appeals to "gun-nuts"; extremely powerful torch; requires no license; scares people; doubles up as a cudgel.

Disadvantages: scared people may shoot you if they have real guns; not a great accessory to carry on a date; may get you arrested when used in its cudgel mode.

xenzag, Nov 12 2020

bring this as a backup EverReady_2045
[xenzag, Nov 12 2020]

[link]






       Mixed feelings. I know many of your ideas are offered as spoof or art or both, but first I'll address this one straight.   

       While replica weapons have a place in training and theatrical use, this would not appeal to a gun enthusiast. It might appeal to the nuttiest of "gun nuts" - but would actually increase the risk of the owner getting killed if they ever brandished it*.   

       Re-reading that last clause... Yeah - okay, thinning the herd is worth a bun.   

       ---
* PS: I know you know all that, based on your 2013 write-up of the EverReady 45.
kdf, Nov 12 2020
  

       //spoof or art or both// - by ‘both’ though, do you mean ‘spoof art’ - i.e. fake art, or an ‘art spoof’ - i.e. a spoof of such creativity that it is raised to the level of art? This is an important distinction.
hippo, Nov 12 2020
  

       //many of your ideas are offered as spoof or art or both// I'd like to think that is All of my ideas. This is after all The Halfbakery.
xenzag, Nov 12 2020
  

       Yet some of your ideas are eminently practical. You might want to be more careful.   

       It's part of my chosen persona here to treat many ideas as serious suggestions. There are some that are so far out that I can't do it ... but yours are often *so* close to the line that it's a lot of fun.
kdf, Nov 12 2020
  

       The spoof of the pudding......
xenzag, Nov 12 2020
  

       It's possible to modify the low-lethality 38mm ARWEN baton round by pulling the elastomer projectile out of the case using the corkscrew on a Swiss Army knife, and replacing it with a "D" cell wrapped in greaseproof or waxed paper to form a sabot, thus allowing the weapon to deliver a much more painful, damaging injury over a far longer range. It's possible to actually cause fractures of limbs with a properly-placed shot, leaving the victim writhing on the ground in agony.   

       Of course, no officer with a working moral compass* would ever allow the men under his command to do such a thing, let alone hold clandestine classes in the back of a truck demonstrating the exact reloading technique.   

       We will award a [+] for the very reasons that make [kdf] uneasy.   

       We would very much like to know how "powerful" a beam of light is emitted; for example, in a comparative test, how does it match up against a phased plasma rifle in the 40 Watt range ?   

       *Unless they maybe left it in the pocket of their other uniform, and forgot to bring it.
8th of 7, Nov 12 2020
  

       Plasma rifle? "Hey, just what ya see, pal."
kdf, Nov 12 2020
  

       You don't carry much stock, do you ? We're going to try Maynard's pawnshop, then.
8th of 7, Nov 12 2020
  

       if you want to expend a battery's entire charge in a very bright flash, you'll need to drain it into a capacitor ahead of firing time.
Loris, Nov 12 2020
  

       WIFRT: I was expecting the "pump action" would generate electricity, to be stored (although not necessarily...) to power the torch. (I had a squeeze- handle type dynamo torch back in the 1980's; a superior design to the "crank handle" more common now.)
neutrinos_shadow, Nov 13 2020
  

       Probably not the best ergonomics for a torch to cover a wild range of practical uses. Predator shoulder torch?
wjt, Nov 15 2020
  
      
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