Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Tempus fudge-it.

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QR Toaster

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I have routinely scanned QR codes as a useful function of my job "Phone, this is a box, recognise the box so I don't have to find a pen", much like a cashier does with them old fashioned bar codes. I have also witnessed many failed "scan the QR code for your chance to blah" meaning, "scan yourself, so we can process you as efficiently as a piece of chewing gum".

Toast is the ultimate opt-in QR scenario. If you buy a QR toaster, and you will, you have declared that you want to scan your bread in the morning. But let's not stereotype too soon. Having bought into the cutting edge, you still have myriad choices*. You might want weather, news, porn, help with 5th grade maths homework. The toastabilities are endless, just don't take daddy's toast by mistake.

Oh, the dystopia looms. Free toasters and free bread if you subscribe. Give your toast to 5 friends and get free jam when they scan your toast.

But that's not all. Hold your toast up on the street and you and a stranger could win an all inclusive trip to an exclusive facility where you will be properly cared for.

*Bread with bits in confuses QR patterning. See your list of approved sugar-added white bread for details of best resolutions.

marklar, Nov 16 2023

Unauthorized Bread https://arstechnica...ter-iot-appliances/
"I just want toast!" [Sgt Teacup, Nov 17 2023]


       So if I find anything with a QR code I put it in the toaster and press the lever down?
pocmloc, Nov 17 2023

       Presumably, in the same way that cheap inkjet printers only work with shockingly expensive security-chipped ink refills made by the same manufacturer, the Marklar Inc. toaster will only toast £5 individually-wrapped Marklar Inc. bread slices embossed with a security QR code?
hippo, Nov 17 2023

       [hippo] No, it will print the QR code, but your phone might not be able to read it if the contrast is not good enough with brown bread, or if there is a rye seed or other of the supposedly 12 grains that are in some breads.   

       Like printing a photo on paper your kid made at school from recycled newspaper. All consumables are accepted, but results cannot be guaranteed.   

       [Aside]I just thought of a tagline: "Unexpected item in the baking area"[/aside]
marklar, Nov 17 2023

       Great idea. The hell with message. You could have the first non-skid toast. Or aerodynamic toast that will never land on the butter side. A telepathic test: What will pop up? Star, Triangle, Circle, Wavy Lines, or Square? Stock market quotes under marmalade.
minoradjustments, Nov 17 2023


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