Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Quickie Funeral

For the Quick and the Dead
  (+6, -3)
(+6, -3)
  [vote for,

It appears that important occasions in the modern age are being re-designed to be as fast and easy. Funerals however are still, for the most part long drawn out solemn affairs.

To counter this, the next generation of funeral parlours should be the deathly equivalent of a Vegas wedding chapel. (In and out in 10 minutes). A quick goodbye and old Uncle Edgar is thrown into the ground, furnace, ocean etc. and people can leave and get on with their lives.

Considering that we live in a society that abhors death in all it's forms, I would not be that surprised if this was already baked.

hidden truths, Apr 04 2005

Drive-thru funeral http://www.roadside...p_AttractionNo==287
This one is defunct but I've heard rumors... [omegatron, Apr 05 2005]

(?) Quickie epitaph http://blogquebecoi...rchives/000614.html
[angel, Apr 11 2005]

Drive-up viewing http://www.usatoday...u-viewing/15693543/
Another one... [lurch, Sep 16 2014]


       Shows that in some parts of society, it's degraded beyond recognition. Love it +.   

       Will it have theme-based funerals, like Vegas weddings, you know, the ceremony with some guy dressed up as Elvis Presley, or an alien?
froglet, Apr 04 2005

       And what's next, time-share graves?
phundug, Apr 04 2005

       the funeral service is more about/for the bereaved than the lately deceased.
po, Apr 04 2005

       I always considered a funeral as the last big send-off for a person rather than closure for the people left behind.
hidden truths, Apr 04 2005

       Because that's obviously the most simple solution. Would you have to be dead to try it? It sounds quite fun, given enough padding and a canister of oxygen
hidden truths, Apr 05 2005

       Wife tips a wrapped package into an industrial tree shredder.
"What are you doing?!"
"I finally paid off the git's credit cards, ten years after he died. I refinanced the house, so I don't need him or his pension checks."
reensure, Apr 05 2005

       Eulogy: "Lived a while. Died. Next!"
half, Apr 05 2005

       Quickie Fun URL: foreplayless playful domain
FarmerJohn, Apr 06 2005

       The point of a funeral is to pay your respect. In theory you only attend those of people whom you respected. Therefore, you should have no problem paying them the respect they deserve.
Blumster, Apr 11 2005

       But what about all the other funerals you have attended for distant relatives and friends of friends. There are a lot of funerals that you may be expected to attend for people who would probably rather avoid the fuss and get it over with as soon as possible.   

       Love the eulogy [half].
hidden truths, Apr 11 2005

       Quite right, po.
salachair, Apr 11 2005

       Can I pay my respects via PayPal or credit card?
lurch, Apr 11 2005

       How about a mobile version, where the service comes to the bereaved instead of vice-versa? I see a cremation trailer, adapted from the wheeled BBQ smoker that is common in the Southern US. The bereaved rent a big canopy tent for the backyard, the Creme-on-Wheels truck arrives with trailer in tow, and presto, you have your memorial shindig at the family homestead rather than some anonymous funeral home.
luxlucet, Apr 11 2005

       Actually, that is oddly fitting. Personally I would rather spend my last moments of being in my current form in a place more significant to me than a funeral parlour.
hidden truths, Apr 11 2005

       Well, if you're talkin' about something equivalent to a Southern "pig pickin'", luxlucet, you should include a garage sale since they'll be a number of people attending anyway.
biff, Aug 15 2006

       [lurch], there was one in South Miami that allowed the viewer to select one of several dearly departeds, by pushing buttons. It seemed to use some sort of a carousel arrangement.   

       It was fun to drive around the block and go back in to select a different corpse and see if it was any nicer than the first pick. The selection changed a couple of times a week.
8th of 7, Sep 17 2014


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