Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Regularity Encouragement Pill

Like a time bomb!
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Having frequent bowel movements is essential to a healthy gastro-intestinal system. We all know about diets, laxatives, drinks, and whatnot, that flush out our systems. We don't need all these things! We don't have time to camp on the throne and ponder our actions!

I introduce you to a pill, a pill of encouragement. I suppose, technically, it's a pill of discouragement, discouragement from a slow digestive tract!

Within 12 hours, food that you have eaten should have moved through your system, and become POO, and within this time, you should have POO'd it out.

This pill, once ingested, will dissolve in 12 hours. If your digestive track is fast enough, it will be POO'd out before it can fully dissolve, but if your tract is slower, prepare for the POO session of your lifetime! For within this pill is a potent laxative!

The pill, timed to pass harmlessly through a healthy digestive tract, will reek havoc on a less prepared gut!

Beside encasing a potent laxative, it can also contain a dye, and when the doctor sees you for your rectal follow- up, a tell-tale blue-streak will tell him how fast your digestive tract is.

twitch, Feb 10 2012


       Odd. I have always heard that it can take up to two days for food to wend its way through the yards and yards of intestine.   

       But if you're in a hurry... My uncle Fred gets the same explosive effect with a simple can of sauerkraut. 45 minutes after he eats the stuff, you know where to find him. 45 minutes after that, he is one cleaned-out dude.   

       Actually, couldn't worrying about "Will it make it out in time" cause stress? Stress is known to slow digestion down. So if you take it and you are afraid the "time bomb" will go off, your worrying about it will increase the probability that it will stay there long enough to go off.
Psalm_97, Feb 10 2012

       Garbage in, garbage out!
Zimmy, Feb 10 2012

       And I've read that food passing through the alimentary canal takes about 24 hours. I suspect it depends on the type of food. For me, at least, greasy foods seem to slip through rather faster than 24 hours. On other occasions I'm sure more than 36 hours passed between sessions on the porcelain throne. Somewhere during many years of self-observation, I've decided that too many people worry too much about being "regular".   

       Hmmm...seems to me that there is a potential tagline in there somewhere. "Irregular people; irregular ideas" maybe?
Vernon, Feb 10 2012

       So i suppose I fudged on the timeline requirements... I really don't know, I only like to sound like I know (which is usually good enough for me).
twitch, Feb 11 2012

       "Lamb Madras, Pilau Rice, Saag Aloo and Onion Bhaji"
8th of 7, Feb 12 2012

       That's very good, but this post is about _food_.
Alterother, Feb 12 2012

       Actually that list of food from 8th of 7 fits well in this topic. All can um... encourage the digestive system to move along, at least here in America where those foods are not as common. We are all, I assume, well aware of how the digestive system can react to foods with which it is unaccustomed.
Psalm_97, Feb 12 2012

       I know those are good foods to move things along; I refer you to the bit about the squabbling.
Alterother, Feb 12 2012

       I know, I know. Adds a bit of dijon to the sandwich, no? Or maybe horseradish.
Psalm_97, Feb 12 2012

       // here in America where those foods are not as common //   

       Although the British Raj has attracted much opprobium over the centuries, spreading the benefits of curry-based cuisine can not be lightly discounted.
8th of 7, Feb 12 2012


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