Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Rent My Wraparound

If you aren't gonna use it, rent it to me!
  [vote for,

I do not have a porch. All my life I've wanted to just go outside, grab a seat on the porch swing, open my book, and sip lemonade. All my life. Since I was a little girl. Gently rocking back and forth, till I fall asleep and dream of rolling hills and babbling brooks while my book relaxes on my chest.

This ain't gonna happen, apparently. So while out on my usual bike ride today, I noticed that only a handful of folks that have actual, perfectly beautiful, wraparound porches, actually ever use them. Hence...

Rent My Wraparound was hatched. Just what it says. Rent that huge, rustic wraparound porch, with swing and maybe even a hammock, to me. Or one of the many like me who were never blessed with a house with a ginormous wraparound porch.

During the weekdays, while everyone is at work, I could also be your Amazon package security system. Nestling with the goods while I napped the day away.

I think you could probably score $10 or maybe even $25 per day if you have an extremely cool porch and yard. Or if it were a second-floor porch with views of the treetops. YYYYeeeeesss!!!

blissmiss, Jun 09 2019

Urban_20Rent-a-Hammock you could always have rented one of mine...... [xenzag, Jun 10 2019]


       Isn't this against one of the 10 commandments? "thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's porch"   

       //while out on my usual bike ride today//   

       You should take up horse riding instead, the extra height is far better for snooping over their hedge on what neighbours have in their garden as you pass by ;)   

       A farmer locale to my parents has sort of baked this, they rent out their indoor pool in a detached building near the house by the hour.
Skewed, Jun 09 2019

       OpenAirBNB ?
8th of 7, Jun 09 2019

       [Skewed] you can get tall bikes
pocmloc, Jun 09 2019

       [bliss], could your problems not be solved by means of a visit to a timber yard and a few days' work? Admittedly this would be challenging if you live in a 5th floor apartment.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 09 2019

       Zoning, Landlords, and lack of knowledge and yard space, dear MB, prevent me from a DIY porch.
blissmiss, Jun 09 2019

       Now I feel bad for not sitting on my front porch. Like, never. It's got a bench and everything.   

       You're welcome to use mine. Work it out with my wife first though. "Hey hon, there's this gal on line, at least she says she's a gal, that wants to come over and sit on our porch. You OK with that? Why you getting that frying pan? Gonna make me some eggs? Oooh goody! Sunny side up please!".
doctorremulac3, Jun 09 2019

       //Isn't this against one of the 10 commandments? "thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's porch" //   

       One of the poorly printed ones - it should say : Thou shalt not covet they neighbour's pooch.
FlyingToaster, Jun 09 2019

       I'll build a porch on our first cabin for you when you come to visit.   

       How about a mobile porch? Basically a flatbed trailer modified to look really porchy. Someone drives up, parks the trailer right outside your house, and you're good to go.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 09 2019

       I like that but why park it? Have one that goes all around the city so the view would change. Other porches could be arrayed around yours and others could sit on those porches. It could be covered as well so you could enjoy the mobile porch array in any weather.   

       Oh wait, that's a bus. Never mind.
doctorremulac3, Jun 09 2019

       // How about a mobile porch? //   

       Very nice, particularly the 911, but the Ferraris have a higher top speed and the Lamborghini has more headroom.   

       There's something distinctly fishy about the later models, though - we're thinking specifically of the 911 Turbot ...
8th of 7, Jun 09 2019

       If you take a trip to Mackinaw Island you can pay a tenner to hang out in the famous Grand Hotel front porch. Great view.   

       And if you do want to head up that way sometime over the summer, give me a shout first and we'll make some plans. You can sleep for free on my in- law's boat in St. Ignace as long as we are also up there.
RayfordSteele, Jun 10 2019

       Wow, all these fantastic ideas. I love the mobile porch. So much so, I wish I had made that the original idea.   

       "Maxwell's Mobile Porches". Catchy name too.   

       Thanks for all the generous offers of porching options. I wish I could afford an RV. I would drive the countryside and come and loiter on all of your "sort of porches". (Not worth the trip to the ER though, [doctorremulac3])   

       St. Ignace...not heard of that [RayfordSteele]
blissmiss, Jun 10 2019

       //"Maxwell's Mobile Porches"// I was thinking more of Buchanan's Versatile Verandas.   

       There should actually be a business that has various rooms and garden segments available as flatbed trailers.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 10 2019

       [bliss/ray], just another hour and five minutes northof Mackinac Island is...why not Canada?! We have some amazing porches. We are well known for porches, especially south of North Bay. At the moment, most of our porches are snow-free, which is a bonus.   

       You could rent a porch with an entire cottage attached; you'll find that quite a few of the porches in Canada's Cottage Country* are actually owned by your compatriots, who are busily renting them out on AirBnB.   

       <rant>This would be fine, except that the renters think they are pissing and barfing in the middle of unoccupied savage lands, despite the presence of our periscope just over the nearby fence.<end rant>   

       *Cottage Country is anywhere on a lake, outside of Montreal, Toronto or Vancouver. All other non-lake property is farmland, Moose-infested swamp, ex-Boreal-Forest timber stands logged for export to make US toilet paper, and The Alberta Tar Sands (wholly owned by China).
Sgt Teacup, Jun 10 2019

       St. Ignace is the Upper Peninsula side of the Mackinaw straits. Less pricey than Mackinac Island or City, but same place.   

       Grandparents used to have a cabin on Aird Island in the North Bay of Lake Huron, not far from Spanish. God I miss that place.
RayfordSteele, Jun 10 2019


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