Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Safety button

The trowsers' answer to the pocket protector
  (+2, -1)
(+2, -1)
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Are you reaching the age where your pants are beginning to shrink? Do you want to prepare for this day? Do you want to avoid being in a crowded place when the entire weight of your pants is being held up and supported by a few teeth on the zipper? If so then read on!

Let O= button, - = cotton thread, : = where thread is attached to pants

This is the current situation: O-:

What I am proposing is:


We understand that the most likely cause of this problem is weight gain, so there is a slight oversupply of cotton between joints, allowing your stomach to grow and display its size with pride.

It is easier to snap a : than the -.

There is now no need for one to rely on a poorly attached piece of cotton to separate you from social suicide.

You want size y, well just buy size x and knock off a :.

With our safety button, you can now walk around with even more confidence!

danman, Jul 12 2009


       are you suggesting a piece of material that shrinks the waistline of a pair of pants ? baked. (good luck finding a pair these days, but still...)
FlyingToaster, Jul 12 2009

       No FT, rather one which grows with you, allowing you to keep you pants for longer.
danman, Jul 12 2009

       //attached to pants//
where, on the cuffs ? on the arse ? and where does this mysterious "button" hook into. Now I think you're thinking pleats which are sewn together where you break the joins gradually. There already exists one of these:

       o O--------|   

       where o is a button, O is a buttonhole, ---------- is a length of material and | is where it's sewn to the inside of the waistline. There is a button, also sewn to the inside of the waistline. When you connect button to buttonhole, it pulls the waistline in an inch or two (depending on where the button is). So prior to the xmas dinner you wear with the button buttoned, after with the button unbottoned. Usually there's two, one at each hip.
FlyingToaster, Jul 12 2009

       Thanks for pointing that out FT, above the zipper, in place of a regular button.
danman, Jul 12 2009

       [edited previous anno while you were posting this one]... you would want 2 then, one on each side of the regular button unless you have a custom hand-built zipper you like showing off.
FlyingToaster, Jul 12 2009

       This designs main aim is to prevent your button from snapping when you sit down ect. by directing the force elsewhere, while at the same time being undetectable and avoiding the whole elastic thing (which is not durable).
danman, Jul 12 2009

       A great innovation!
danman, Jul 12 2009

       yeah but when it snaps the fly will be exposed. Current previously mentioned "pleaters" and the one where theres a tab behind the zipper from one side to the other, prevent just that... though come to think of it Velcro sounds pretty cool for this sort of thing.   

       Best bet: belted with a long shirt.
FlyingToaster, Jul 12 2009

       In many golfing trousers, the button a about two inches from the zipper. If we had material running down the full width of this and not just the top flap, the problem would be solved.   

       I think that it would be best to stick to a zip as Velcro would not be hygienic and would be difficult to operate.
danman, Jul 12 2009

       in which case my previously mentioned already-baked solution is superior.   

       //material running down the full width// then you better sign me up for one of those penis lengthening devices; am I supposed to stand sidewards and pee to my left? or are you hoping for a genetic Z-bend to be developed. Though I'll grant you if everybody faced sidewards you could fit more urinals onto the wall but I'm not too sure I want somebody coming up behind me to pee... or anything else.   

       Meanwhile [-] previously existing better idea.
FlyingToaster, Jul 12 2009

       hahahhahaha, accepted.
danman, Jul 12 2009


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