Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Self cutting Pizza

Pizza plus c4
  (+6, -2)
(+6, -2)
  [vote for,

Cutting pizza is always a messy affair, and it drags the toppings all over. Thus I propose self cutting pizza. A proprietary and edible special cheese would be added to the pizza in the grid pattern of your choice.

Special metarinka industries ltd "havoc Havarti" would be added during the pizza making process. After a set dwell time at oven temperature the cheese would start to break down until... BOOM! The cheese would be put into a shape charge such that most of the force would be directed downward.

Presto, perfectly cut pizza.

*disclaimer metarinka industries ltd is not responsible for exploded gas ovens, death or diarrhea.

metarinka, May 11 2011

cool pizza cutter here http://2.bp.blogspo...Ri5fSKV0/s400/3.jpg
[xandram, May 11 2011]

another one http://www.google.c...66&biw=1024&bih=651
[xandram, May 11 2011]

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       + for spelling diarrhea correctly
dentworth, May 11 2011

       You would think that someone would have invented some sort of cookie cutter to do this with by now.
DrBob, May 11 2011

       I know I say this too much, but: det cord.   

       Hey, it's better than my other fallback, the omnipurpose Claymore mine!
Alterother, May 11 2011

       Lethally dangerous, inappropriate and ill-considered use of explosives.   

8th of 7, May 11 2011

       Or do what we do, and equip all the kitchen appliances with directed-energy weapons.
8th of 7, May 11 2011

       I'm guessing that 8th's diet consists largely of small, odd-shaped pieces of blackened & smoking carbon. It would explain much.
DrBob, May 12 2011

       You must be looking at his most recent x-rays, doctor. Those are actually not of his stomach, but of his very heart.
rcarty, May 12 2011

       <using long stick, nudges lumps of moist cat excrement into padded mailer bag>   

       Your complementary BorgCo gift is on its way to you, [rcarty].   

8th of 7, May 12 2011

       I love pizza well cut, so a greasy + from me!
blissmiss, May 12 2011

       //moist cat excrement//
I think you're safe, [rcarty].
This 'gift' would require [8th of 7] to be in relatively close proximity to a cat, which, we all know, is never going to happen.
neutrinos_shadow, May 12 2011

       Au contraire, [neut]. It is only necessary to be in a location where a cat has been, and these are all too common.   

       Further, it may be possible to obtain excreta from a dead cat by stamping on it.   

       [rcarty] should beware the contents of his mailbox for a while yet.
8th of 7, May 12 2011

       I'll be sure not to tear into any packages with my teeth.   

       I'll be marking your package 'return-to-sender' and you'll be receiving back something much worse - aged and travelled cat droppings.
rcarty, May 13 2011

       is det cord a rare allergy?
metarinka, May 14 2011

       So it's an emo pizza then?
BunsenHoneydew, May 17 2011


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